The Candace Sledge

I was sitting in the ER waiting area and a teenage white girl says, “There’s Black People In Here”.
How would you react?

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I can admit that I don’t deal with death well. I have a tendency to distract myself as much as possible and as long as I can in efforts to avoid facing the pain of the reality that a loved one is gone. But then the moment comes where it hits me like a blow to the gut that completely takes my breath away as the overwhelming hurt consumes me. Then comes the breakdown 😭

Death can be devastating and debilitating. I’ve been taught to not grieve as those without hope. I’ve been conditioned to be poised and show strength… I have to be strong for those around me who are overwhelmed with grief. Although I demonstrate strength well, it doesn’t mean I’m not breaking down inside wishing that someone would see me and offer comfort even for a moment.

Don’t assume that just because you see strength demonstrated that I hug or act of concern wouldn’t make the difference in helping her/him heal.

No, this is not a cry for help; rather a moment of awareness for those that tend to overlook those around you who seem to be keeping it together so flawlessly.



To the Draper and Starks Families: I love you, I’m praying for you, and I am here.