Infinite Beige
A blog about movies.
Nothing great, nothing terrible, nothing from the last 10 years.
1) I am a jealous and vengeful god: I will ban without warning for racism, sexism, various other isms
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Waxwork (1988) a bunch of teens fall victim to a cursed Waxwork museum and it's creepy proprietor, played by David Warner.
Blackenstein (1973). Blaxploitation rip of Frankenstein. It's supposed to be terrible, and so far it doesn't disappoint. Directed by William A Levey. Dr Winifred Walker (Ivory Stone) seeks help with her fiancee, crippled in Vietnam, from Dr Stein (John Hart). Written and produced by Frank R Saletri, who would end up getting murdered in real-life.
How this movie hasn't had the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment yet is bizarre.
Instead we're going Blaxploitation with Voodoo Black Exorcist (1974). I managed to find a poor quality rip on Youtube, so that's what we're going with until I can afford a dvd or bluray of it.
This morning we're watching The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960). This is a Hammer film, directed by Terence Fisher and written by the epically named Wolf Mankowitz. This is the Indicator blu from Powerhouse Films.
Next up in Hammeruary: The Two Faces of Dr Jekyll (1960). I've never seen this one, and it's one of the "second tier" Hammers. The blu is from Indicator, and I hope it's better than the iffy 4k of the last movie.
Hammeruary continues with Revenge of Frankenstein (1958) I'm watching the Indicator 4k release from Powerhouse Films. Initially it seems a little fuzzy, a little grainy, but I think that's down to the day-for-night of the original film.
Hammeruary is getting kicked off with Lust For A Vampire (1971). The Karnstein's are back: Carmilla Karnstein is resurrected by an budget-brand Dracula, and entices an arrogant writer of lurid tales to her ample bosom.
I went for a pair of French body-horror movies to round off the morning: Raw (2016) and Baby Blood (1990). Both pretty good. Raw is the better movie, as Baby Blood was obviously meant to be a comedy (but the humour is all French, so essentially swearing, misogyny and clowning) But Baby Blood has Lovecraftian overtones, while Raw is essentially a cannibal/ghoul story. Both look at femininity in different ways (Baby Blood is about pregnancy and motherhood, while Raw is about female sexuality and adolescence, with cannibalism!) Both enjoyable, though.
It's the greatest day of the year, the crowing glory of the month of Spooktober. So today, I'll be trying to catch up with a marathon of horror, after a month of falling behind.
We're kicking off with The Prowler (1981) a slasher movie made before the subgenre got stale. This is a first time watch for me, and i'm looking forward to some gore effects by legend Tom Savini. I'm going to be watching the uncut Blue Underground bluray release. I won't be live posting this time, as I want to concentrate on the movie (my current medication is making clear thought a struggle as it is)

Diversion #4: Suspiria (1977). Directed by Dario Argento, and written by Argento and collaborator Daria Nicolodi. A girl travels to a German dance school, which turns out to be the home to a coven of witches in the thrall of one of the mysterious Three Mothers...
I'm going to watch the Cultfilms 4k restoration, as that's the one I own. We get a lovely coulple of intertiles explainiing that the film has been restored, and which film elements were used. Now, this version is supposed to have the original intended technicolour, rather than the Eastman colour that the film normally has. And holy crap, it's fu***ng garish. missing frames have been restored, and Argento himself has approved the transfer.
Series One: "Crazy Ape Movies": Episode #6: Phenomena (1985). Directed by Dario Argento, and written by Argento and frequent collaborator Franco Ferrini, this is one of the weirder of the Argento movies. We have the usual kind of things that we've come to expect from the non-giallo Argento: female protagonists, isolation, exotic(ish) locations, matriarchal/gyno-centric institutions, and of course a level of narrative bat-s**ttery that leaves you befuddled. Phenomena is the story of Jennifer Corvino (Jennifer Connolly.... the similarity in name suggests only a bare-bones attempt to give her a character at the writing phase) packed off to a distant Academy for Girls, where she exhibits a telepathic link to insects in the wake of a series of murders...
Now, I ~think~ this is a first time watch for me. I have a random memory of seeing the VHS box in our local grimy video-dealers in the late 80s, early 90s, but I have no idea if I ever actually rented it. I'm expecting it to look gorgeous, with set-pieces of almost operatic bombast, because....well, it's Argento, and that's where Argento lives. But I'm also expecting a lack of narrative logic, some terrible script work, and perplexing plots, because it's an Italian genre-piece and they never really gave a s**t about anything but sexy women and ultra-violence, and usually both at the same time.
I'll be watching the Arrow UK blu release. I haven't cracked it open yet, so I haven't decided which version to watch. So, I'm going to brew a pot of tea, grab a ring doughnut, and get this Crazy Ape movie underway...
Series One "Crazy Ape Movies": Episode #5 "Konga" (1961). Konga is an Anglo/American knock-off of King Kong, which throws in a mad scientist and a London location, just for fun. It is directed by John Lemont, whose wikipedia entry is ludicrously short. Starring genre favourite Michael Gough as crazed botanist Dr Charles Decker, it's the old familiar tale of a mad scientist with a serum that makes things ~massive~. So, some shades of HG Wells "Food of The Gods and How It Came To Earth" (published 1904) and oodles of King Kong (1933) the licence to exploit the name of which cost producer Herman Cohen $25,000.
Decker returns from "darkest Africa" with his serum and a baby gorilla which grows to enormous size and goes berserk. The giant ape is played by Man-In-A-Gorilla-Suit Paul Stockman. Another point of note is that the comic book adaptation was drawn by a pre-Spider-Man Steve Ditko, who also penned the comic series for Godzilla knock-off Gorgo (1961).
Series One "Crazy Ape Movies": Episode #4: Bride of The Gorilla. I'm watching the Mill Creek 12 Creature Feature edition. It seems to be an unrestored VHS port onto dvd. It's watchable, but barely with flecks and tracking issues. The sound is good. Now, I'd misremembered Bride of The Gorilla (1951) as being a Bela Lugosi vehicle: it isn't. The cast is actually just as good with Raymond Burr and Lon Chaney Jr and tragic actress Barbara Peyton. It's directed by Curt Siodmak (no, really, THAT Curt Siodmak who wrote The Wolf Man and I Walked With A Zombie). It starts as a hot, sweaty noir set on a plantation with a l***y manager (Raymond Burr) who has a lecherous desire for the owner's wife (Barbara Payton). He murders the owner (Paul Cavanagh)... but it turns out Dina, the wife, is fine with that, as she's been having an affair with Barney, the manager. So far, so noir (which is a great phrase, even if I say so myself)... but then the local witch puts a curse on Barney, and he turns into a were-gorilla. Oh! HELLO! Let's crack on.
This Season has been Crazy Ape movies, but what should the next Season cover? All suggestions will be considered.

Diversion #2: Mausoleum (1983). This movie was a bit of a Holy Grail for me during the last 30 years. Having missed it in the 80s, I first read about it in Chas. Balun's Deep Red Horror Handbook, and spent decades with it on the top 10 list of movies to find. The reason it was so difficult to source was down to the Video Nasties scare of the mid-80s. You can read my article for Fangirl Magazine here http://fangirlmag.com/ban-this-sick-filth/ So, hunting for a VHS copy became a "thing". Once it was seized under Section 3 of the Obscene Publications Act, that became inordinately difficult. fast forward to today, and we have cult film archivists and aficionados such as Vinegar Syndrome for finding, scanning and distributing a bluray of the film. Directed by Michael Dugan (who?) and starring Bobbie Bresee, and Marjoe Gortner (former child preacher and cult movie regular), it's essentially a heart-warming tale of a cursed family and a woman turning into a six-titted demon. The family name? Nomed. Which is demon, backwards. That's a 3am script-writing solution if ever I heard one. OK. So this is a first watch for me. I'm watching the Vinegar Syndrome Bluray, which has a 4k scan of the original negative. And the blu comes with a reversable sleeve, so you can choose between the new art or the original VHS artwork.
The plan for this week was to watch and review the Japanese Kaiju movie "King Kong Escapes" (1967), but the copy I managed to find is unwatchable, so I'm going to see if I can source a better one in the upcoming months. So, instead, this week, we'll be diving into my cupboard of unwatched blurays to hunt for a Diversion. I'll be doing that in a few minutes.
Series One: Crazy Ape Movies. Episode Three: Mighty Joe Young (1949). We're returning to stop-motion animation with this film. Supervised by Willis O'Brien, this is the first major film to showcase the talents of Ray Harryhausen. It was directed by Ernest B Schoedsack, and took inspiration from his earlier King Kong (1933) and Son of Kong (1933). I remember seeing this a couple of times as a kid, but haven't seen it since. I vaguely recall my dad mentioning it, but that could be a false memory. Over the last 40 years, i've pretty much forgotten what happens, and have deliberately avoided reading a synopsis. So this will be quite similar to a first-watch situation, which I'm looking forward to a lot.
I'll be watching the HMV exclusive Premier Bluray. So, let's brew up a nice pot of decaff (I know, I know, it's for medical reasons) tea and crack on.
Series One: Crazy Ape Movies. Episode Two: Murders In The Rue Morgue (1971) Now, here's the thing: in Edgar Allen Poe's original story, it's a crazy ape doing the killings, right? We should all know that by now, I mean, it's been over a century, so we don't need a spoiler alert for that. But, even though the movie shares a name, does it share a plot? does it share an ape? I'm pretty sure I've seen the film, long ago when I was a kid, but can't remember a damn thing about it. So, at the moment, with it sat in my bluray player prior to pressing Play, I can't tell you if there's going to be a damn crazy ape in it or not. Kinda makes a mockery of the whole format, right? Well, that's the infinity of beige for you. I couldn't manage to source a copy of the 1932 version with Bela Lugosi, but I'm still hunting for it. So, we'll make do today with the 1971 version directed by Gordon Hessler. You may not be familiar with Hessler's name, but if you're my sort of age, you'll know at least one of his other films: The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (1974). he worked with Vincent Price on three films, but sadly, this isn't one of them. However, we've got a great cast here which includes Jason Robards, and the great Herbert Lom. I'm watching the Shout! Factory bluray which is a double feature with AIP's HP Lovecraft adaptation The Dunwich Horror. Let's pour a cup of tea and crack on...
Diversion #1: Rasputin The Mad Monk (1966). The studiocanal blu. HOLY CRAP the picture is phenomenal on this. studiocanal always impresses with their top tier restoration work. Plus Christopher Lee as Grigori Rasputin (Ra-Ra to his friends) which has to be classed as one of his best performances. This is the kind of role they should have been throwing him in the late 60s early 70s instead of Dracula after hissing Dracula. The weird thing is, as mad as this Rasputin is, he's nothing compared to the real thing. Even his level of filth is toned down in the film. Hammer, saving money as always, filmed on the same sets as Dracula: Prince of Darkness. This was a second bill feature, if I remember correctly, playing with The Reptile (which was filmed on the same sets as The Plague of The Zombies). There's an interesting footnote to the film: one of the real-life Rasputin's assassins, Prince Yusupov, threatened legal action and had to be replaced in the move by the character of Ivan. This wasn't the first time Yusupov had used libel laws to claw back his reputation. Maybe he shouldn't have murdered someone in the first place. Anyway, on with the rich Hammery goodness...
Series One: Crazy Apes. Episode Two: Errrrrrrm
Well, Episode 2 was ~supposed~ to be a massive one covering a bunch of Man-In-Ape-Costume movies from the 30s and 40s. But... I bought the Alpha Video bumper pack called Sons of Kong. The packaging is great; the box comes with a pop-up-cardboard sleeve of a giant ape chasing a woman.... And that's where all the money went. When you open the dvd box, the realisation that Alpha Video doesn't care about the movies becomes clear. The dvd box is only designed for 2 discs, so the third disc is just loose in a paper sleeve in the box. When starting off the dvd, you also realise that no care has been taken to source a decent print, at least of the first movie (Karloff's The Ape Man) which looks virtually unwatchable due to fuzz, flicker and wobble. The soundtrack too is substandard. But most galling of all, Alpha Video has branded the film's first few minutes with a digital on-screen graphic (a "dog") in the top right corner. As if anyone would see this print and think "f**k me! THIS is the copy I should pirate!" Literally nobody is thinking that. This lack of care of old movies makes me angry. This level of ripping off the consumer makes me angry. I wasn't expecting bluray picture definition from a movie 70 years old. But, stupidly, I thought they may have had some level of pride in their product. No. No, they just wanted to buy up old movies cheap, and pump out an even cheaper product. Well, f**k them. I'm so pi**ed off with this, that I'm probably going to shelve the entire set for a few years and come back to it later. Instead, I'm going to have to have a think about what Crazy Ape movie should come next in the order. If anyone has any ideas, I'm open to them. I may just bring Murders in The Rue Morgue (1971) forward a few weeks. Likewise Monkeyshines (1988) and Phenomena (1985). I'm still trying to source a good copy of Lugosi's 1932 version of Murders in The Rue Morgue. Anyway, in short Alpha Video.... I won't be buying any more of your products. And you can go f**k yourselves.

Series One: Crazy Ape Movies.
I thought we'd kick-off the blog with a fun series, and that'll be Crazy Ape Moves: movies in which protagonist or antagonist is an ape or a monkey. Some of these will be classic man-in-an-ape-suit, some will be actual live monkeys, and some will be created using special effects.
Apes being depicted in movies have a longer history than you may think. A quick search on the digital web of dreams threw up a man-in-an-ape-suit way back in the silent era. Tarzan of The Apes (1918) gives us some ape/ape-men villains https://i1.wp.com/moviessilently.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/tarzan-of-the-apes-1918-image-15.jpg as well as s**t-tonnes of grade-A racism. The question of race and racist themes are depressingly prevalent in early Ape movies, for reasons that hopefully will be alien to future audiences, but are glaringly obvious to us now. The fact that much of popular cinema throughout history was created by the affulent, predominantly "white" (not to mention "male") hegemony means that at least some of the movies we're going to look at in this series have some pretty disgusting racial undertones.... in fact, some will be so blatant as to be ~overtones~. We'll look at how race is depicted, as well as looking at patriarchal depictions of women because the two are frequently interwoven.
Welcome to Infinite Beige: Tedious Waffle About Movies. This is essentially my Movie Blog that will accompany the podcast (that doesn't exist yet). What will usually happen is that I'll pick a movie, write up a brief information post about it, the live-post as I watch it. Everyone is free to post along with me as we go. Hopefully, when we're more established, we'll have Watch-Parties where we all watch the same movie at the same time. I'm intending to update every Monday with a fresh movie blog, but may throw out extras during the week as and when. Anyway, that's the plan.