Relational Living

Aloha everyone!

After a long hiatus, wrapping up loose ends with our business changeover and doing disaster relief work, I now officially announce the transition into our new name: Relational Living Communications. Due to our rebranding responsibilities, all previous content needs to be removed.

Our mission stays the same in that we are committed to providing pathways for healing and growth through communication tools, awareness/inquiry practices and relational skills.

Also, a part of rebranding is choosing a new logo. Since you are fans of the vision and may have an idea of how it could be best represented in the world, I’d love your input!

Stay tuned for how to get involved in the rebranding of this vision.

Feel free to drop me a line to say hello or if you have questions or comments!

“You just keep doing exactly what you’re doing …” James says. And, while it’s so good to read all of these birthday wishes, the best birthday gift I have ever received, is this Beloved Man in my life! Celebrating the 3-year anniversary week of our precious journey! Thank you, James, for coming into my life. 😍💕🥰🌺🙏🏼

LOVE this. Just be you. ❤️

Her teacher held the oversized envelope tightly against her chest. She grimaced and said “I’m sorry” upon handing me the packet containing my daughter’s first-ever school pictures.

“Retakes are next month,” she continued. Her tone was a warning that disappointment awaited.

“They’re that bad, huh?” I responded, before lifting the flap to peek inside the envelope.

The teacher gave me a half-nod and said, “we tried.”

I assumed my daughter’s eyes were closed or her hair had streaks of finger paint in it. Heck, maybe there was even a bo**er dangling from her nose. I mean, you can’t really expect toddlers to stay clean and tidy for more than a fraction of a second.

“Geez, her teacher seems really concerned,” I thought, and wondered how a school picture could possibly be THAT awful.

I reluctantly slid one of the photos halfway out of the envelope and whatever concern there had been immediately dissolved.

I laughed. Hard. My heart was overflowing with all the best things at the sight of this image.

“Oh, we won’t be needing retakes,” I said.

Because this is my daughter. The real her. Eyes open and unamused by whatever nonsense was taking place in front of her.

I imagine she was facing a photographer who was trying to coax her into a feigned smile by waving around a floppy stuffed dog, or making bad jokes, or acting like a total goofball in an attempt to gain her favor.

But really, it was probably the baby talk that caused this expression on her face. Because this child has always met baby talk with utter disdain.

Whatever it was, she will not be made a fool of. Such behavior is beneath her.

She saves her smiles for things that speak to her soul. And there are A LOT of them. Just not school picture day thinly veiled under the façade of fun.

She doesn’t do phony.

And that’s okay with me.

I just pray she stays that way.

Shared with permission from Jenny Albers - Author

Aloha everyone! I wanted to announce that the times of this offering has changed to 9-10. I want people to come at a time that works best and I've been getting some feedback that it was too early. Morning times are the best for me to do these practices for myself before my mind becomes engaged and distracted by life's activities. But I am still experimenting with ways to share the work. Mahalo for the feedback and I hope to see you for some mindfulness games!
https://fb.me/e/1RAH5nkP9
❤️

Do you respond to distance by retaliating with more distance?
For some of us our habitual response when it seems like someone is pushing us away might be to punish the distancer by withholding.
I call this a Firefighter response.
In Parts work, the firefighters are the ones that come out with a hose to blast anything that is a perceived danger. While the protection is a valid attempt at caring for a tender part of ourselves, oftentimes firefighters are expressed in addictive behavior. I call retaliatory distancing a firefighter response because it can be an old habitual, teenager way of responding that has an addictive quality. It can be another expression of grandiosity. Grandiosity and ‘otheration’ are addictive. It feels good in the moment, but it is not without consequences.
The first step to breaking the cycle is simply noticing that it is happening. The trick here is to not do that same thing to ourselves! That is where mindfulness comes in.

Thank you cottonbro on Pexels for the use of your photo.

Imagine your ideal life. In your vision, does every conversation you have bring more peace, connection, and satisfaction? How can you make this vision a reality without learning how to build that kind of life? Instead of just doing the same things you’ve always done and hoping for the best, you can make that life a reality by bringing more intimacy into every conversation.
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Thank you Fauxels for the use of your photo from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-people-holding-hands-3228734/

Shame plays a major role in how we show up in our relationships and how we communicate - or - how we don’t. Shame can keep us locked in a negative self-image that creates false lenses through which we see the world. Sometimes life can be so painful and we don’t realize that there is an alternative to negative self-belief and voices of shame. When we have a disposition that is particularly susceptible to believing these voices, or even if we don’t, it takes a diligent commitment to life, consistent practice, and experienced support to stay afloat. Although this does not substitute for counseling with a licensed psychotherapist, it can be a companion to you in your work. But primarily, we need to realize that we are telling ourselves a story - and that we are believing it.
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The longest study of human happiness is the Harvard Study of Adult Development which started in the late 1930s. The study followed two groups of young men through their entire lives. One group of young men were Harvard sophomores at the time and the other group was from a poor Boston neighborhood. After so many decades of study, it was found that satisfying relationships are the best predictor of genuine, long-term human happiness.
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Thank you to Gustavo Fring from Pexels for the use of his photo.

It's not natural to slow down and take steps to understand another person. These skills can be taught, and we can train our brains to experience a sense of belonging like never before. Embrace curiosity!

Mindful Speech updated their phone number.

Mindful Speech now takes appointments on their Page.