Dr Lia Roth

What if entitlement emerges whenever one person's subjectivity becomes secondary to the function they perform for another?
Then entitlement is not limited to predators, executives, celebrities, or narcissists. It becomes a relational phenomenon.
The parent who unconsciously requires a child to remain dependent.
The friend who expects loyalty at the expense of truth.
The employee who expects constant rescue from a manager.
The martyr who expects gratitude.
The fixer who expects to be needed.
In each case, the other person is no longer encountered as an agent, as independent center of desire.
They are occupying a position that stabilizes the self.
The entitled position is: "You are supposed to be this for me.".and at times, “this” is crossing all boundaries.
This week’s essay at Z-land Field Notes:
https://drliaroth.substack.com/p/pelicot-weinstein

This week, Jason Arday, a celebrated professor, resigned from Cambridge.
Some question his qualifications. Others blame those asking the questions.
In the middle? You and me, being asked to take a side.
That is recruitment.
On the surface, it divides us into supporters and dissidents. Underneath, it sorts us into the good and the evil.
Go read it before you pretend this has never happened to you.
Link in comments

A man whose chief distinction is having no stable distinction becomes a national sensation
The Atlantic described Arday’s cv: A car accident. Months in a coma. A locked-in syndrome. A vegetative state and a machine the doctors advised turning off. A cancer that is testicular in the proposal and brain in the book.
After my first article on Arday, someone came back and asked me:
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴?
Here’s my take, find the link in comments

Knowing what you want is not the same as knowing what you are building.
One is desire. The other is direction.
They are not the same question.. and they don't arrive at the same time.
After the orienting relationship breaks, both questions surface at once.
When you treat them as one, that's where the confusion starts.
Episode 51 unpacks the difference... and why the existential work has to come before the practical answers make any sense.
🎧👉https://player.captivate.fm/episode/9bd28d93-106d-4a3d-a676-27233c54bb69/

People assume their problem is the relationship they lost, the betrayal they suffered, the person who left, or the life that didn't work out.
But, you may not be mourning the person.
You may be mourning the playground
🎧👉https://player.captivate.fm/episode/0dcc3326-ed30-45f9-a111-a973ba3d23e6/

A man whose chief distinction is having no stable distinction becomes a national sensation
The Atlantic described Arday’s cv: A car accident. Months in a coma. A locked-in syndrome. A vegetative state and a machine the doctors advised turning off. A cancer that is testicular in the proposal and brain in the book.
After my first article on Arday, someone came back and asked me:
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝘆𝗽𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴?
Here’s my take, find the link in comments.

A fact invites checking.
A reality that runs on illusion, forbids it.
Guess which one your institution runs on
And what happens when you doubt.
On Jason Arday, Cambridge and Eden’s garden.
Go read it before you pretend this has never happened to you.
Link in comments

On Jason Arday, the Cambridge professor who took a job and built an ever-growing profile for everyone’s benefit.
This article? Answers the question most people is asking”
What does it take to do that?
On Arday, the position stabilizes the person, gathers the field, gives each participant something, and survives even when the story flips from triumph to scandal.
Read it on Z-land Field Notes:

Jason Arday - The Impostor Needs an Audience The Cambridge professor who took a job and built an ever-growing profile for everyone’s benefit.