Take Control ADHD

"I know what I need to do. I just can't make myself do it."

It sounds like a mystery, like the missing ingredient is hiding somewhere. It usually isn't. It's a question of which engine started the task.

💭 I'll do it once I stop putting it off.
💭 I know how, so why am I not doing it?
💭 Everyone else just makes themselves start.

You can do your taxes because you want the refund, or because you're afraid of the letter that shows up if you don't. Same task, completely different fuel. Avoidance works often enough that it becomes the only engine a lot of us learn to start—but it has a ceiling. It can only ever get you to not-so-bad.

This week, the blog digs into what's actually underneath "I know what to do and I'm still not doing it," the difference between shame and embarrassment, and why disappointing someone early beats letting them find out late.

You were never missing the knowing.

📣 Community Sound Off:
Fill in the blank: The thing I know exactly how to do and still haven't done is ______.

Why Knowing What to Do Was Never the Missing Piece — Take Control ADHD Knowing what to do was never the missing piece. A look at the two different engines that can start the same task, why only one lasts, and what changes once you find it.

🎧 This Week on The ADHD Podcast…
Are you doing the thing because of what you'll get, or because of what you're afraid of? Both get the task done. Only one of them is sustainable.

This week, Dr. Ari Tuckman returns to talk about approach and avoidance, and why so many of us have only ever learned to start the second engine.

🎙️ Quoteworthy Moment of the Week:
"Merely avoiding negatives doesn't make your life actually good. It only makes it not as bad. And not as bad is really not an awesome motivator."
— Dr. Ari Tuckman

🧰 Takeaway Tips for Your ADHD Toolbox:
• Avoidance works just well enough to become the only engine you know how to start.
• Embarrassment and shame are not the same feeling, and the difference determines what you do next.
• Motivation follows competence—so look for the friction before you look for willpower.

➡️ If this finds you motivated to listen to this week’s episode, you can tune in wherever you prefer to listen to podcasts or click the link → https://takecontroladhd.com/podcast/3305

College with ADHD means the usual study advice was never built for your brain.

Swipe through for what's inside the ADHD Student Success Toolkit 🎒

🎒 Get the toolkit here → https://takecontroladhd.com/store/p/the-adhd-student-success-toolkit

You read the room before you read yourself. You've been doing it since you were a kid.

Attunement means two things at once: staying in touch with what someone else needs, and staying intact with your own. Most ADHD brains got very good at the first half early, and never got the same practice at the second.

💭 I said yes before I checked what I had left.
💭 A small request landed like an ambush.
💭 I went quiet and hoped someone would notice.

This week, the blog digs into the pendulum between those two ends, why you only need to get attunement right about 30% of the time, and what it takes to say the thing out loud instead.

📣 Community Sound Off:
Fill in the blank: I say "yes" to someone the fastest when ______.

I’m With You. I’m Also With Me. — Take Control ADHD There's a version of attunement most people never think about: the one between you and yourself. A look at why staying in touch with everyone else can come at the cost of staying in touch with you, and how to find your way back.

Now that GPS enrollment has closed, you may be feeling some FOMO about missing the deadline.

If that’s the case, we’ve got something to help you on your planning journey while you count the days ‘til the next enrollment opens.

"Unapologetically ADHD: A Step-by-Step Framework for Everyday Planning on Your Terms" is a book written by Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright. Many of the lessons, exercises, and worksheets within the pages of this book were directly inspired by the core principles we teach every day in the Guided Planning Sessions membership.

🚫 No rigid systems.
🚫 No productivity pressure.
✅ Just real strategies built around how your brain actually works.

Whether you prefer to read or listen, it's available in print and audiobook wherever books are sold. 📖🎧

👉 takecontroladhd.com/adhdbook

🎧 This Week on The ADHD Podcast…

Last time Dr. Dodge Rea was here, we set up a conversation in two parts and only got through one of them. This week we finish it, and the half we left hanging turns out to be the trickier one. What happens when the person you're most out of sync with is yourself?

🎙️ Quoteworthy Moment of the Week:

"What I really do on my best days is, I am with them, but also with me."
— Dr. Dodge Rea

🧰 Takeaway Tips for Your ADHD Toolbox:

• You only have to get attunement right about 30% of the time—the repair is what matters.
• Anger and blame are not the same thing—and confusing them costs you.
• Shame works like armor—and it can also work like a threat.

➡️ Tune in to this fantastic discussion with good friend and Hall of Famer of The ADHD Podcast, Dr. Dodge Rea.

Misattunement: The Through-Line of ADHD Relationships with Dr. Dodge Rea — Take Control ADHD You already know how to tune in to everyone else. Dr. Dodge Rea returns to talk about the much harder skill of staying with yourself while you do it.