Jessica Patterson Counseling

Jessica Patterson Counseling

Get daily insight and advice on self-care, relationships, and parenting. Learn about new parenting and communication tools from Positive Discipline.

09/26/2021

When To Say NO to Marriage Counseling and What To Do Instead

She is full of wisdom! If you identify with what she is saying, find a counselor who truly sees through the abuse/deceit/addictions, so that you can get the real help you need, and not driven further into the abusive cycles.

How To Build a United Front as a Stepcouple | FamilyLife® 05/01/2021

How To Build a United Front as a Stepcouple | FamilyLife®

Another article of mine, published for Family Life Blended! I’m very thankful for the opportunity to write for Ron Deal and this wonderful ministry to stepfamilies!

https://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/blended-family/stepparents/stepparenting-skills/how-to-build-a-united-front-as-a-stepcouple/

How To Build a United Front as a Stepcouple | FamilyLife® It is rare for a couple to meet, fall in love, marry, and parent their children the exact same way. It is even more uncommon in stepfamilies.

12/06/2020

nikkiharmontherapy on Instagram: How to deal with toxic people. . #instagramreels #reels #toxicpeople #therapy #therapyiscool #therapistofinstagram #therapyreels…

😂 See that toxic person? Walk the other way. 👍🏼✌🏼
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CIR_xabh1OE/?igshid=1jc73dbspi9fc

annabayhutchison • Original Audio

10/14/2020

FamilyLife Blended

I was honored to be a guest on Ron Deal’s podcast for FamilyLife Blended! We are talking about the complex relationship between moms and stepmoms. Have a listen!

Our world expects moms and stepmoms to be against each other. The social media club of "let's bash the mom or stepmom and commiserate together" is alive and well. But when a mom and stepmom don't play that game-when they find a way past resentment and appreciate what each offers the children, and cooperate on behalf of the child-people take notice and the world celebrates a small victory. In this episode, Ron Deal speaks with Jessica Patterson, a licensed counselor and mom and stepmom about how to mitigate the battle of the moms.

Listen now: https://www.familylife.com/podcast/familylife-blended-podcast/40-battle-of-the-moms/

07/18/2020
04/23/2020

FREE online therapy groups, facilitated by my amazing colleagues!!

Free Groups at New Life!

What is the cost?
FREE for the first 5 group meetings, then $10 per meeting for the next 5 remaining weeks.

How often does the group meet, and for how long?
The groups will meet for 90 minutes once per week for 10 weeks, beginning in May.

Who can participate?
Anyone with a permanent Texas home address.

How do I sign up?

Contact the leader of the group you are interested in directly and they will respond to you with the paperwork and everything else you need to know!

Ryan Donovan - [email protected]

Payton Sparks - [email protected]

Bethany Schaefer - [email protected]

04/22/2020
04/22/2020

Let's Q***r Things Up

This is such a great article on why we find ourselves caught in abusive relationships and how we can heal from the trauma of both the past and present. If you are in an emotionally abusive situation, I’m here to help you.

By popular request, here's an article format of my viral thread on the "fawning" trauma response! I include some additional resources and unpacking in here as well. Hope that it's helpful. 🍓✨

04/12/2020
04/05/2020

The Gentle Mamma

Learning this blew my mind!
It’s not that they’re not listening, it’s that they *can’t* listen 🤯
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I was getting so frustrated with all the “huhs” and “whats ” that our 4 year old was saying that I actually took her for a hearing test. And guess what....she has perfectly great hearing 🎉
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And then I learnt this.....
Until the age of 15(ish), a child cannot differentiate easily between multiple sounds. They *have* to concentrate so hard on their game, the show they’re watching, the story you’re reading that they actually cannot hear 👂🏻 what you say!
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Simple solution - get their attention by calling their name (sometimes a few times) *before* you say anything else.
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[Also, there’s no guarantee this advice will make your kids *actually* listen to you.....they can still choose not to 🤦‍♀️😂#sorryparents ]
🌻💛
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📸 and CAPTION ABOVE ⬆ by @mummycon 💕
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Research around this :

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4470421/

https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2015-07618-003.pdf

03/22/2020

A great tool to help with your peace of mind in this difficult season we are all facing.

03/08/2020
wsj.com 03/02/2020

The Lonely Burden of Today’s Teenage Girls

wsj.com Amid our huge, unplanned experiment with social media, new research suggests that many American adolescents are becoming more anxious, depressed and solitary.

02/29/2020

Love What Matters

"I just brought my daughter Kenna to our counselor for her bi-weekly session and found this beauty on the board.

I thought some might need to read this today. GREAT reminder! 😍👏🏻"

For our best love stories, listen to our brand new podcasts: https://ihr.fm/2Od03Yr

#LoveWhatMatters

Credit: Jessica Moering

reviveourhearts.com 01/08/2020

How Mama Bear Hurts Her Family | Revive Our Hearts

Oh yes!! Great read, mamas!

reviveourhearts.com What happens when a Mama Bear protects her family so much . . . that she's actually hurting them?

deeprootsathome.com 01/01/2020

Reasons Today's Kids Are Bored, Entitled, Impatient with Few Real Friends

Hey parents, happy 2020! Looking for a New Year’s resolution?

https://deeprootsathome.com/kids-bored-entitled/?fbclid=IwAR2HS0ydmL8xBa7nl65YqKV6JudvKpqg6vHdBA7nCiet0U6B7WyXDTcQEks

deeprootsathome.com We have the best intentions - to make our kids happy - but the ability to learn delayed gratification is one of the key factors for future success.

musebycl.io 12/23/2019

Santa Rethinks 'Naughty or Nice' in W+K's Remarkable Mental Health Ad

musebycl.io NAMI questions binary labels this holiday

11/07/2019

New Life Counseling Center

We are approaching the time of year where stress starts to compile and snowball. This often continues through the holidays, leaving many ringing in the new year in crisis mode! Be sure to check in with yourself and stay on top of your wellness! Consider staying ahead of the game and scheduling an appointment with your mental health professional when you notice yourself feeling a little frazzled, before you're really frazzled!

11/05/2019

Dr. Caroline Leaf

Little changes and adjustments in your day to day life can and will make a big difference over time. What are some little ways you can adjust your routine, or some little things you can add each day that will improve your mental health in a big way in the long run? Make that investment in yourself (image repost @minaa_b)

10/31/2019

Ooo this is good.

More often than not, things are deeper and more complex than they appear. Here is some helpful perspective on what high functioning anxiety can look like!

familylife.com 10/17/2019

Battle of the Moms in a Blended Family | FamilyLife®

My first published article! I’m honored to be writing for Ron Deal and Family Life Ministries!!

familylife.com Advice on seeing both the stepmom’s and biological mom’s perspectives.

10/11/2019

FamilyLife Blended

Yes!! When it comes to co-parenting, you are only hurting your kids when you try to get them to side with you against the other parent out of your own insecurity. Give them full permission to love all parents in their lives!

There is something completely upside-down when parents rely on children to make themselves feel okay. If you find yourself guilty of placing your children in an emotional tug-of-war, please begin to alter your messages to them and take them out of the middle. You can only trample grass so long before it ceases to grow. - The Smart Stepfamily

10/01/2019

Love this testimony about The Smart Stepmom retreat this weekend!

As I have been processing my experience at the Smart Stepmom Retreat I had some thoughts I wanted to share. Being a stepmom has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced and I’ve experienced a lot of hard things in my life.

Being a stepmom can be an incredibly lonely experience. Nothing can truly prepare you for it. No, none of us truly “knew what we were signing up for” despite the comments we often receive. No woman grows up dreaming of being a stepmom or someone’s second wife. We all wanted the fairytale wedding & marriage that every little girl grows up dreaming of. It can be incredibly lonely feeling like an outsider in your own home, in your own family. You can quickly lose your identity as you are swept into this new family & new life. You don’t get the honeymoon phase with your husband but are thrown into the middle of life & kids right from the start. So much of what happens in your life is completely out of your control. Your very existence is a reminder of pain & a family that broke apart so you are often a target. And no one seems to be able to understand or get it.

Being with other women who truly understand & get it was so refreshing & healing. To know we aren’t alone in this journey. To sit & talk and pray together was so powerful. To be reminded that God is in this. That he creates beauty out of brokenness and our families are no less than any other family. That he is doing something bigger in all of this, something that we can’t see yet.

09/29/2019

Yes!!

I left the house yesterday at 6:20am in a suit, made it through a couple of meetings where I sat squarely in the hot seat, battled evening traffic across town to the daycare, and finally pulled into the driveway at 6:40pm. Before the van door even opened, Little Lady asked what we were having for dinner.

When I walked in, all I could see was that the dishwasher was full of clean dishes and the trash can was overflowing. Backpacks appeared to have exploded in the entryway and shoes were trailing through the kitchen.

I’d like to think all parents have been there...in moments like these, we have a split-second choice to make: “How am I going to respond to this?” We waffle for 60 seconds, trying to decide between fury and throwing our hands up (and everything in between), and then, we respond.

In the workplace, when our leaders need to confront a team member, we train them to “approach with curiosity.” This means, don’t draw a conclusion and approach with a reaction, consequence, or solution. Instead, approach with curiosity, seeking their side of the story with an aim to listen, collect new info or context, and THEN craft an appropriate response.

This method is equally effective when leading our children.

Instead of, “How many times have I told you?”.... “Get down here!”... “Let me guess, you had plenty of time to play video games.” ... I approached with curiosity, “Hey boys, what have you been up to since you’ve been home?”

They explained that they were finished with all of their homework and that J had to sit beside his little brother to help him stay focused on his 30 Math problems. They also revealed that they had emptied the dryer and put away a load of their clothes. (Oh, snap! I hadn’t even noticed that.) I thanked them for getting it done and asked if they could knock out the dishes and trash while I put dinner in the oven. They happily complied and we went about our evening like nothing had happened.

Approach with curiosity.

I know from (lots of) personal experience - had I barged in and immediately laid into them in frustration, I would have wasted my chance to greet them kindly after not seeing them all day. It would have set an entirely different tone for the rest of our evening, and things could have spiraled downhill from there. These types of reactions weaken our connection with our kids and erode their trust that their leader will always assume the best in them.

#HRmom
#StopParentingStartLeading

09/29/2019

I was so grateful to be a part of The Smart Stepmom retreat this year with Laura Petherbridge and other fellow stepfamily ministers! Such a beautiful group of women who support and inspire each other in their special and challenging roles they hold in their families.

09/20/2019

It’s much easier to conclude the meanings in the top section because of our automatic angry or anxious reactions to our kid’s tantrums. It takes intentional effort to stay calm and seek to connect to our kids through the tantrum and use it as a good teaching moment.

09/19/2019

Fierce Marriage

Wives, you have access to your husband's heart like nobody else. You see his flaws, his strengths, his fears, and his courage.

You have a choice to make daily: which aspects of your husband will you focus on most? Will you feed your frustration because of his flaws, or will you encourage his strengths and celebrate his victories? As a wife you must become an expert in your husband's strengths.

Wives, love your husbands fiercely and boldly. Use your words to encourage and your actions to strengthen. He's given his heart to you, now it's your job to steward it well and with Christ-like love.

Stay fierce,
Ryan & Selena Frederick

#fiercemarriage #marriage #love / Pic by @jeffkmarsh

09/18/2019
09/17/2019

Leslie Vernick - Enriching Relationships That Matter Most

I’ve seen that this abuse is far too common in marriages. It’s not just men; some women are also the abusers.

09/17/2019

No, really! 😉

familylife.com 09/09/2019

‘I’m So Grateful to Know I’m Not Alone’ | FamilyLife®

Such an encouraging story!

familylife.com Josh and Tracey Devine barely survived their blended family turmoil, but with God’s grace and the help of resources like FamilyLife Blended®, they are now helping other stepfamilies survive and thrive.

09/09/2019

Lysa TerKeurst

Have you ever found yourself saying, “I don’t want this to be my story”?

I deeply understand.

But in the midst of my own heartbreaking realities, I realized I needed to start having little funerals for the ways I thought my life would turn out.

Sometimes to get your life back, you have to face the death of what you thought your life would look like. You have to let go of what isn't so that you can grab hold of what can be. Letting go of these expectations isn’t an end. It's often what must be present for the brand new to begin.

God has a good plan in mind, sweet friend. But it’s probably not going to look anything like the one of our own design.

#ItsNotSupposedToBeThisWay

quora.com 08/29/2019

How do I tell my wonderful 11 year old son, (in a way that won’t tear him down), that the way he has started talking to me (disrespectful...

Have children going through puberty? This is an awesome way to explain to them (and to understand as parents) what their brains are going through, how it is affecting their emotions and behavior, and what they can do about it.

https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-tell-my-wonderful-11-year-old-son-in-a-way-that-won-t-tear-him-down-that-the-way-he-has-started-talking-to-me-disrespectfully-makes-me-not-want-to-be-around-him-I-ve-already-told-him-the-bad-attitude-is/answers/111753616

quora.com Jo Eberhardt's answer: Ah, puberty. It changes our sweet, wonderful little boys into sweet, eye-rolling, angsty, accidentally disrespectful, but still wonderful young proto-men. My first son is eleven and a half right now. (I’ve been informed that the half is important.) I don’t claim to know th...

08/19/2019

So very fascinating! I love discovering new incredible facets of our design.

Someone recently told me that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. So if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. It’s why we feel more stable after crying, as if whatever emotion we were feeling had been released and we were refreshed. This is also why tears from different emotions look different under an electron microscope. They’re literally made up of different things. According to Joseph Stromberg of the Smithsonian’s College of Arts and Sciences, happy tears are structurally different than sad tears than angry tears than overwhelmed tears etc. Different types of tears have distinct molecules. Emotional tears have protein-based hormones including the neurotransmitter leucine enkephalin, which is a natural painkiller that is released when we are stressed. (Photography by Rose-Lynn Fisher http://rose-lynnfisher.com/tears.html?fbclid=IwAR1GI_IvO75LUWDLqaELs_qcOtUSf8XPyXlaDgGwNcXl5k3okHf-eT_EvgA)

08/03/2019

"Nine" (Lyric Video) | Sleeping At Last

If you’re into the Enneagram or you are interested in learning more, and if you’ve ever wanted a song that best describes you, then you’ve got to check this out. It’s a beautiful music project by one of my favorites, Sleeping at Last, about each Enneagram type in their album, Atlas: Enneagram. Each song speaks to a certain personality type in an empathetic way, and then encourages them in exactly the way they need it. Here is the song about my personality type, the Nine. Take a listen to all of them , One through Nine. Which song resonates the most with you? https://youtu.be/SRgtB8lWUc8

"You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens." –Mandy Hale ----------------------------------------...

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Address


Round Rock, TX
78660
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