FACT

What if we valued foster parents like we do missionaries?

I have watched churches rally around missionaries.

We pray for them.
We raise money for them.
We send support every month.
We commission them.
We celebrate them.
We tell their stories.

And we should.

But I can’t help wondering…

What if we did the same for foster families?

Not instead of.

Also.

Because there are families in your church who are walking into hard places every single day.

Families saying yes to children carrying trauma.

Families sitting in waiting rooms, courtrooms, therapy appointments, and visitation centers.

Families loving children whose futures are uncertain.

Families holding heartbreak, grief, hope, and redemption all at the same time.

And most of them are doing it quietly.

No newsletters.

No support pledges.

No monthly updates.

No commissioning service.

Just a simple yes to whatever God places in front of them.

What if the Church saw that as ministry too?

What if we prayed over the family saying yes to a placement?

What if we brought meals when a new child arrived?

What if we filled their pantry?

What if we babysat so they could breathe for a minute?

What if we surrounded them the same way we surround those we send across the world?

Because foster care is not just social work.

It is ministry.

It is waking up at 2 a.m. with a child who is grieving.

It is sitting through visits and court hearings.

It is loving children who are hurting.

It is showing up over and over again when it would be easier not to.

It is Kingdom work.

Right here.

In our neighborhoods.

In our schools.

In our own church pews.

We cheer for the people God calls overseas.

And we should.

But maybe it’s time we started noticing the people He called across town too.

The foster parents.

The kinship caregivers.

The adoptive families.

The ones quietly carrying burdens most people will never see.

They’re not looking for applause.

But they do need support.

And they should not have to carry the mission field alone.

"Children need your attachment more than you need to protect your heart." - Jen Lilley, actress, foster & adoptive mom 💭

In Episode 93 of the Foster Friendly Podcast, Brian Mavis sits down with Dr. John DeGarmo and Jen Lilley to talk honestly about foster care, advocacy, community support, and their new book, Called to Foster?: An Honest Guide to Getting Started. 📖

Their conversation is a powerful reminder that while foster care can be challenging, every child deserves adults who show up with love, stability, and courage. 🙌

🎧 Listen to Episode #93 at the link below:
https://americaskidsbelong.org/blog/keeping-it-real-what-every-foster-parent-needs-to-know-with-dr-john-degarmo-and-jen-lilley/

I get this message constantly.

“Not everyone who fosters or adopts is Christian. Stop talking about Jesus”.

I know.

Trust me, I know.

There are people from all kinds of backgrounds opening their homes and loving children well.
And thank God for every single safe home a child finds.

But some of y’all act offended that I talk about Jesus while doing the work He called me to.

What do you want me to say?
That He isn’t the reason I keep going?

Because He is.

When I’m sitting on the bathroom floor crying after a visit went bad…
when a child is raging from trauma and my whole house feels heavy…
when I’m staring at another court date wondering how many more extensions a child can survive emotionally…
when I’m exhausted, heartbroken, overwhelmed, and still saying yes again…

It is Jesus holding me together.

Not motivation.
Not savior complexes.
Not “being a good person.”

Jesus.

Some of y’all found me on a page called The Feathered Nest Blog and are shocked that faith comes out of my mouth.

Friend…
I’m Pentecostal.
Of course it does.

I believe the Holy Spirit still moves.
I believe God still heals.
I believe chains still break.
I believe Heaven still gets involved in impossible situations.

I have watched children come into my home completely shut down and slowly learn how to laugh again.
I have watched hardened hearts soften.
I have watched addicts get clean.
Families reunify.
Teenagers finally exhale.
And no, I do not think I’m the hero in those stories.

I think God is.

Because foster care will humble you real fast.
This work will bring you to your knees.
There is not enough training in the world to carry this without something bigger than yourself.

And for me?
That “something” has a name.

Jesus.

So no, I’m not speaking for every foster parent.
I’m speaking for me.

For the woman praying in the hallway at midnight.
For the foster mama worshipping while folding trauma soaked laundry.
For the family pleading with God to protect children they cannot legally control the future of.
For the people who know this calling is not cute or aesthetic or easy.

It is spiritual warfare sometimes.

And the reason I talk about Jesus so much is because I have seen Him show up in the middle of absolute devastation and breathe life back into places that looked dead.

That’s my story.
That’s my language.
That’s my faith.

And I’m not toning down the fire God put inside me just because it makes some people uncomfortable.

Spots are still available for the annual Mom’s retreat!

https://embracetexas.app.neoncrm.com/np/clients/embracetexas/event.jsp?event=418&&fbclid=IwZnRzaAR8OOZleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEeHPU6cOUs3V65TtDdj5HO9YR_UWtJlShxkRdAZcv67VBnsDWJ46Bc8Pq4T5E_aem_ztkby6YvDtiZxnnKo8RIfQ

Embrace's 16th Annual Moms Retreat 2026 At Embrace, we believe in the power of community. When women come together to encourage one another, fellowship, worship, and share the foster, adoptive, or kinship care journey – we are all stronger for it. We also strive to be rooted in truth and grounded in love. Colossians 2:6-7 “So th...

I made a post about the Church and foster care, and someone responded with:

“Why is this automatically the Church’s responsibility?”

And honestly?
That question alone is part of the problem.

Because somewhere along the way, the modern American Church became so focused on protecting comfort that we started treating sacrifice like an optional spiritual gift instead of the very foundation of the Gospel.

Nobody said every Christian has to foster.

But let’s stop pretending Jesus gave us the option to be indifferent.

Scripture does not say:
“Care for the vulnerable if it fits your schedule.”
“Defend children unless it becomes emotionally exhausting.”
“Love the broken unless they disrupt your peace.”

No.

It says:
“Defend the weak and the fatherless.”
“Carry one another’s burdens.”
“Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for Me.”

The problem is not that the Church cannot fix everything.

The problem is that many Christians have become experts at explaining why they should not have to carry anything uncomfortable at all.

We have churches spending millions on lights, buildings, smoke machines, conferences, coffee bars, and branding while children in our own communities sleep in DSS offices.

Children.

And the Church keeps asking,
“Why is this our responsibility?”

Are we serious?

The government was never meant to disciple the broken.
The government was never meant to reflect the heart of Christ.
The Church was.

The early Church took in abandoned babies left to die.
Believers walked into plagues while everyone else ran away.
Christians were known for moving toward suffering, not avoiding it.

Now?
Many churches can barely tolerate inconvenience.

We have built an American Christianity that worships comfort so deeply that the moment something costs us peace, time, money, energy, or emotional capacity, we call it “wisdom” to stay distant.

But Jesus did not say:
“Protect your comfort.”

He said:
“Take up your cross.”

And crosses are heavy.

I think that’s why this conversation makes people defensive.
Because deep down, many believers know we have turned the Gospel into something polished, safe, and self centered while vulnerable children sit right outside our doors begging to be seen.

You do not have to foster to care.

But if your Christianity never requires sacrifice…
if it never costs you comfort…
if it never moves you toward broken people…
if your faith only exists inside church walls and curated Sunday services…

Then what exactly are we following?

Because it does not look like Jesus.

32 children in Collin County are waiting for their forever families. Please join me in serving for the evening or in attending.

https://events.humanitix.com/embrace-s-child-to-family-connection-june-2026/tickets?fbclid=IwZnRzaAR5u_RleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEeT23iI1dYZ4HbJNJPj1XB4ztEdKmU8x2Pel9NqFF1UyLpWnleKnyBmd8xqtA_aem_N6Cs4sloHhI_0dRfIERtKQ&utm_id=97757_v0_s02_e225_tv2_tp1_a1demonzbfitxg

Embrace's Child to Family Connection June 2026 Register on Humanitix - Embrace's Child to Family Connection June 2026. CityBridge Community Church, 6400 K Ave, Plano, TX 75074, USA. Wednesday June 3rd 2026. Find event information.

Okay, here it is. Another honest foster parent confession.

Some days I do not feel like being the kind one.
The gracious one.
The one who “understands trauma” and “leads with love.”

Some days I want to slam the door and say, “Are you serious right now?”
This is the plan?
This is what we are calling “best for the child”?

I watch my babies fall apart after visits.
I see the fear in their eyes when the system does not see what I see.
I listen to professionals talk about these kids like they are files and paperwork instead of little humans whose hearts are breaking in real time.

And I am supposed to nod politely and say, “Thanks for the update”?

Some days I want to scream.
Some days I want to fight.
Some days I want someone, anyone, to care as much as I do.

And then I hear it in my spirit.

You said yes.

You did not say yes to a perfect system.
You did not say yes because it would be easy.
You said yes because a child needed love and you could not look away.

I am not some polished savior.
I am not a saint with endless patience.

I cry in my car.
I panic before court.
I question the system.
I question myself.
I cry out to God more than people probably realize.

But I am still here.

Not because I am strong.
Not because I always handle this beautifully.
But because God has not let me walk away.

This work is holy.
And holy work is messy.

It is loud.
It is painful.
It is exhausting.
And some days it absolutely makes you feel a little unhinged.

But it is also sacred.
And these children are worth every hard part of it.

So yeah.
I am tired.
I am emotional.
I am probably a little unhinged at this point.

But I am still saying yes.

Reunification is not redemption if the child is the one paying the price for it.

And I need people to hear that.

I will cheer for reunification all day long when it is truly safe.
When healing is real.
When the home is stable.
When the adults have done the deep, painful work of change.
When the child is not just surviving there, but safe there.

I believe families can heal.
I believe people can change.
I believe God restores broken things every single day.

But love alone is not enough.
Good intentions are not enough.
Wanting your child back is not the same thing as being ready to safely parent them.

And children should not have to bleed while adults figure it out.

That is the part people do not want to say out loud.

We celebrate reunification so quickly sometimes that we forget to ask how the child is actually doing.
We look at completed classes, passed drug screens, housing checklists, and court dates while ignoring the child having panic attacks, nightmares, aggressive behaviors, or complete emotional shutdown.

A child’s nervous system tells a story too.
And we need to start listening to it.

Because reunification should never come at the expense of a child’s safety, stability, or emotional well being.

I love biological families.
Deeply.
I pray for them often.
I have cried with them.
Rooted for them.
Believed in them.

But believing in redemption does not mean ignoring reality.

Real healing takes time.
Real change shows up in consistency.
In accountability.
In humility.
In choosing your child again and again even when nobody is watching.

And until that safety is truly there, we protect the child.
Not halfway.
Not conditionally.
Fully.

Every single time.

Because children are not practice runs for adult healing.
They are human beings deserving of safety now, not someday.

And grace for parents and protection for children should never be treated like opposing sides.

If we are truly child centered, then the child’s well being has to matter most.