Chippy the Elf

And so it was written that on the 14th day of Quarantine, the enemies of Chippy and Friends came once again to jeer and mock them. But when they arrived, they found the Quarantine Box empty except for Chippy's hat, a LOT of dog and reindeer p**p and a "Healthy Elf" certificate. And they became afraid.

But the Spirit of the Christmas Nutcracker appeared to them and said, "Why do you weep....they are not here....and you're screwed!"

We're Baaaaa-aaack!!!

We're a day late because SOMEONE (::cough cough:: Baby Reindeer Andy ::cough cough::) forgot to pack our passports before take off and we were detained at the Colorado Wall for trying to enter the state illegally.

As much as I insisted that we did have the appropriate paperwork and that we weren't trying to sneak into Colorado in the dead of night, I was still thrown into a crumpled up gift box with only a rusty pail of spoiled egg nog. I swear I heard Bumble (my Christmas nemesis) in the background cackling with glee, saying, "This is payback for last year Elf Boy!" I KNEW that bastard was behind this!

Mrs. Claus finally arrived with our attorney, Pepper Mintstick, and our passports and we were finally released and sent on our way. I could hear Bumble shouting, "This isn't over Elf Boy! Vengeance will be MINE!"

We arrived at our Host Home just as the sun started to rise. We barely had time to leave our little welcome back gifts before our Littles started to stir. We're so excited to be back for another Christmas!

As for Bumble.....we're ready Snow Boy.....BRING....IT....ON!

We helped out Host Mommy this morning and got Dash-2's breakfast ready!

I can neither confirm nor deny that it was me who started the rumor that Host Mommy's house is THE happenin' place for Christmas Elves to hang out. Maybe I shouldn't have shared that on social media.....all these elves and elf wanna-be's are just crawling out of the Christmas Tree!

My Dash-1 Little has been in the hospital since before Halloween. I thought I'd surprise her with a little visit last night, but it seems that Bumble is up to his old tricks and decided to tag along. He seemed a little out of sorts when he got here, so I thought I'd be nice and check his blood pressure, as well as give him a little something to help him "sleep"

We're baaaaccckkk!!!!

My Dash-2 Little joined a Mythology Club at school, which she absolutely LOVES! I got permission from Santa to bring her an early Christmas gift of some mythology books to read over break. I even got to call in my special dragon friend, Festus, to help me deliver them! I'm not a big fan of the toga though. It's really cold here today and my chestnuts are FREEZING!

Last day of school before Christmas Break! The gang & I were so busy during the night planning lots of fun things for my Littles! First up - I gave Baby Reindeer Andy & Schnapps the job of packing a special lunch for my girls. I think they didn't a pretty good job, don't you think!

Last night, to celebrate my Elf Liberation and well....just because....we had a big party!! Some of my old friends showed up -- like Earl, the Salvation Army Santa I met in rehab a few years ago. Earl hasn't changed his ways much....in fact, I think he laced Mistletoe the Mouse's gingerbread! Her eyes were like saucers!!! (Say no to drugs kids!!) I was also very happy to see my old friend Sassy the Reindeer. She offered a sympathetic antler as I told her all about my troubles with Jingle-Bella. We talked well into the wee hours of the morning! We're going to try to meet up for lunch after the Busy Season! I think I may be finally getting over Jingle-Bella!