Under the Bus

Sometimes, we are fortunate enough to receive “manna from heaven”. To that point, I became aware of a post made by Michael Smith announcing his withdrawal as a candidate for DPO Vice Chair’s election this Sunday at the DPO 1st Quarter State Central Committee (SCC) Meeting and reorganization; which, is posted with these comments.

In it, he portrays himself as a crusader and now a martyr. He wallows and roils in self-pity. Which, is to be expected as he is a bully and a coward as bullies inherently are.

When the DPO Gun Owner’s Caucus came into existence and it was time for Caucus Chairs to file their DPO reports of the previous calendar year’s activities and financial status, Smith copied three female Caucus Chairs in an email sent to the Executive Director, I believe, in which he falsely and without any proof at all accused me (Stonewall Caucus), Rosa Colquitt (Black Caucus), and Chrissie Erguiza (APIPA Caucus) of being remiss in filing our respective caucus reports. Smith sought to disparage and malign the three women that chaired three minority caucuses without any regard for facts.

I responded, copying all, calling out his male chauvinism and sprint to false judgement. He apologized, but beforehand, Rosa personally thanked me for call him on his sexist claim. On multiple occasions he asked for my personal endorsement, which I freely gave. It is my understanding that his personal animosity and tireless efforts to discredit and ruin me were the result of having unequivocally opposed something he had pitched.

Sorry, one does not seek retribution or revenge because another is enthusiastically acting in that way against them. Anyone reading this is free to believe anything they wish, but no one is entitled to their own facts.

Smith speaks of saving he and his spouse the trauma of running a campaign. He thinks nothing of waging a persistent and unmerited personal war of misinformation against a 71-year-old, disabled, transgender woman and its effects on my 83-year-old wife. He ensured that my life and reputation were destroyed, but he is just misunderstood.

He is/was a lifetime member of the MultDem and DPO TERF club. He is every bit as much of a DPO insider as any of the candidates for DPO Vice Chair. Rosa, the penultimate insider and transactional Chair that the DPO has ever suffered: willingly, by all the DPO Officers I served with in the four years prior to last December’s DNC election. I am the only one that challenged Rosa and her wanton and vengeful reign of terror and, among other significant instances of malfeasance regarding her role as DPO Chair and the willingness of any of my fellow DPO Officers/Admin members to neither join me in my email documentation, nor lodge any individual protests.

It was my intention this morning to begin my post documenting Rosa’s numerous violations. If other than toadies such as Diane Grover, Eleanor Wynn, and their quasi-Progressive agenda for the DPO, which resembles Trump and his reign of terror more than anything progressive of in the best interest of the DPO , The current DPO Chair is a vengeful tyrant bent on vengeance and an autocrat enabled by the DPO Executive Director and the DPO attorney.

Also, must not forget to discuss current DPO Vice Chair (female) Eileen Kiely, who was a charter member of ‘Team Rosa’ in 2023, and the abject character assassination waged against me in their personal interest. I do not believe she can prove any of the allegations she made against me.

--more--

To paraphrase and old saw, “There are lies, damned lies, and Kelie McWilliams.”

It began with her approaching me at April 29th thru May 1st, 2022, at the COVID-delayed Biannual Summit in Sun River. After introducing Brandon Wolf, who survived the Pulse Nightclub slaughter and co-founded the “Dru Project, the featured speaker at the Saturday morning breakfast—it was the second time I had the privilege of introducing him at a Democratic event.

After breakfast ended, I sat in one of the spacious and comfortable armchairs at the front of the lobby. I had no sleep the night before and hope that I might nap if I sat there long enough. Mainly, I was working on a speech to award her the DPO Volunteer of the Year, which she shared with the late Luwanda Manning. It was I that nominated and pushed her for the award. She told me that she had specifically asked that I present the award to her at the Saturday night dinner.

Senator Jeff Merkley (OR), who I had the honor of introducing at a prior Saturday night event, and an aide approached me to say hello and ask if I enjoyed a recent event that they had made it possible for me to attend. I thanked him and told him I had indeed, and they walked off to another event I suspected. Both of Oregon’s U.S. Senators have always been gracious and considerate. Not that I do not usually agree with Senator Ron Wyden (OR), but I am unable to think of an occasion when I have ever disagreed with Merkley. Either way, Oregon is very fortunate.!

As the Senator and his aide departed, a smiling woman I had never seen before, much less met, approaches me and thanks me for the work I did regarding trans, nonbinary, and intersex siblings, and to introduce herself. We chatted briefly and then she left me to return to my work.

Slightly over sixty days later, she joins in with a Facebook troll and thought-police troupe and almost immediately joins with Shani Harris-Bagwell, Robin Stevens, Eileen Kiely, and eventually Rosa Colquitt labeling me a racist, white supremacist, and segregationist. She repeatedly engaged in libel and slander, making unfounded accusations based on hearsay, purely anecdotal evidence, bits of whole cloth, and pure wishful thinking. Ask her to provide proof, cite an occasion, and specifically what I have done in the way of recrimination or out of revenge.

Within a few days of the Harris-Bagwell personal assault, I quit posting about it. While, on the other hand, they were only warming up on July 2, by attacking me on my page, including notifying over 350 mutual friends that she was “unfriending me”, which as I recall, she “shared” with a private group on the “Just Us Delegates” (JUD) page, of which I was also a member at that time. Curiously, she made no comments or objections on that page to the very same cartoon that she attacked me over on my personal page.

Within one week of the personal attack by Harris-Bagwell and her allies, I heard rumblings that they were busy creating serious trouble for me. They were the only ones engaging in retaliation and retribution at that time and ever since.

She evidently attacked me for not respecting her as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I have to be honest, I had no reason to believe that she was, and I do not “out” people or ask uncomfortable and invasive questions that potentially threaten their senses of welfare and safety. She uses female pronouns, and you were unknown to the DPO Stonewall Caucus (Stonewall) and had never participated in any of the Pride events the Caucus attended. I only learned that you identify as nonbinary within the past two years or less.

When McWilliams first started out and, on recall, she piously assured people that she was not out to disrespect or do harm to my reputation, just that I was unfit for either office or pasture as it turned out. She is an ageist on top of her other delightful virtues.

When the immediate past Chair of Stonewall asked me if was willing to work with any of the members that had acted against me, I did not hesitate and said I would. However, it appears that they refused to work with me and stated I would never be welcome or allowed to participate in one of their Prides. And they believe they are fit to lead Stonewall!

Not content with any of her other lies and operating only on hearsay—as she was not in attendance at the DPO 2023 leadership retreat on Zoom, where I very regrettably was evidently overheard on a theretofore unknown ‘hot mic’. I spoke briefly when asked by Chair KC Hanson to introduce myself, and that was the only time I turned on my microphone. I made other comments to myself, sometimes the cat, that were never heard.

I believed that not only had my microphone been muted all along, but that I had exited the online meeting. I understand that Rosa was not even speaking when I evidently was overheard saying, “You can kiss my ass, Rosa.” I was not even aware that my spontaneous private utterance had been heard by any, as my cat was not present when it happened, and my wife was not in the room.

I only became aware of it when a friend called to ask if I knew that I had been overheard saying something about Rosa, which I did not. I asked if they knew what I had said, but they did not. By that time it was too late to do anything about it that day. I believed that if I had said anything questionable or out of order, I would hear from KC or possibly Brad. The only thing I heard or read about it was a post on the JUD page that a friend referred me to. It was a hearsay post by McWilliams with further comments by Stevens on Facebook.

McWilliams writes that “our Michelle Risher” unmuted herself to attack Rosa, and follows that up by stating that they hoped that I would stop my alleged evil ways after the recall attempt, but I had only gotten worse. The greatest shame of it all is that the DPO Chair was evidently bullied by McWilliams into writing that I had continued to had continued to offend, when there was and is absolutely no proof and there will never be. The rest of the DPO Admin/Officers (Rosa abstained) likewise signed on to an over the top reprimand long on blame and short on truth.
Stevens, always ready to pile-on, followed that up with post stating there were, as I recall, 62 letters of complaint that had been filed against, which I already knew was a lie regarding the DPO. She, like McWilliams has made libelous and slanderous allegations about me.

If it were because I held State Rep. Nosse’s feet to the fire over support of the Stonewall’s anti-bullying amendment at a Multnomah County Democrats (MultDems) which was a Stonewall priority and every Q***r candidate in 20222 for the Oregon Senate or House—to the best of my knowledge—was asked or their support in making it happen, I meant no disrespect. I wanted an answer and let up when the MultDems Chair spoke up.

The only way that 62 letters would have been written objecting to my refusal to be once again put off again by Nosse would have been due to a writing campaign organized by my accusers. I would appreciate viewing the 62 to which Stevens refers, complete with names, proof of voter registration, and original unedited allegations in the whole if she intends to persist with this claim.

Her total disrespect and abject indifference, and she is not alone, to one who deals with essentially chronic major depression and daily attacks of PTSD due to the campaign. She has made unfounded comments about my “anger” and there being no medical diagnosis for it. She is not a mental health practitioner of any sort and is in no way qualified or licensed therapist/counselor of any sort.

Here's a challenge. I am possibly the only DPO State Central Committee (SCC) member to have attended forty consecutive quarterly SCC meetings without having missed one in ten years. Likewise I have never missed a Biannual Summit, a platform and resolution convention, or a leadership retreat. In all that time, save one possibility, at the 2023 3rd Quarter Platform Convention and SCC Meeting in Mammoth, I was a bit vocal about the DPO Executive Director’s interference in SCC matters and backing Rosa’s blatant disregard of RNR on a properly made call for division of the house and the DPO Executive Director trying to tell SCC members to suck-it-up and move-on.

There is no debate, one goes straight to the vote. Our late Parliamentarian had ruled that we should move to the vote, but Rosa overruled it and moved quickly on to rush through the rest of the meeting. It was a vote requiring approval by two-thirds of the SCC delegate body and it was an inconclusive voice vote.

But that is enough for now. I am headed off to bed.

--more--

It has been a beautiful late winter day in Portland. The sun is sinking over hills west of the city with sincere and welcoming golden glow. Fortunately, the bay window is only about five feet away and is three degrees shy of facing dead West.

I just finished responding to a friend, but before that I had been out of the house since about 7:47 AM. I had to drive to Sportcraft Marina to pick up a tiny part to complete repairs to Suzuki 9.9 hp outboard with around 30 hours of use. I did not raise the engine into trailering height and angle, and when going over a particularly aggressive speed bump at a low rate of speed, my prop collided with cement, which snapped off half of one of my four blades.

When I received a new prop, it would not sit properly or turn with the transmission in neutral. So, I did what I knew to do—reach out to my fishing buddy, who happens to be an ace mechanic. Long story short, the propeller shaft was slightly bent so I had to purchase a new one. And so I can finally begin using my sixteen foot drift boat. Springers should show up soon and there are still a few steelhead around. I thought about crabbing at Garibaldi, Sunday, but it shows 18 mph winds and possible rain ruling that possibility out.

I spent time outdoors, and with the boat fully operational, I can get out on the water where I can almost forget how untenable and emotionally painful life has become in both my waking hours and dreams. I hoped that beginning to fully address my attackers and the libel and slander that was a part of a campaign of character assassination, dehumanization, and a walking death sentence.

Nobody who was there in December of 2022 at the 4th Quarter SCC Meeting and recall election participated in that scripted and coordinated kangaroo court, where I literally had no rights should dare call it in any way, democratic or Democratic. The leaders of the recall at that point were Rosa Colquitt and Kelie McWilliams. Though all were initially cautioned by DPO Chair Hanson against engaging in libel or slander (they had lengthy PowerPoint presentations that were long on accusations and devoid of proof), they operated totally unchecked.

I on the other hand was approaching the event horizon of a mental breakdown. Yet, I made no excuses and repeated my apology to Rosa. Never has she acknowledged any of the personal apologies I offered her. She is harder than titanium and colder than an iceberg in her judgments and absolute devotion to retribution and destroying her ‘enemies’. And she keeps score and often expressed the opinion to me that the DPO and the Washington County Dems

After they were unable to recall me, she was furious that she did not have all the votes she, McWilliams, and their death squad believed they had locked up, ensuring my recall and guaranteeing my total vilification. As I recall, they asked for at least one recount and visibly—audibly if close enough--manifested their anger publicly. One of their witnesses was a woman I have never met, but seems to be clairvoyant and psychic: Mary Rarick.

I suspect that she evidently loathes me because she has a thing about gay men in politics, and I had the temerity and gall to attempt to light a fire under State Rep. Rob Nosse to revisit and support the DPO Stonewall Caucus’ anti-bullying legislation. I suspect that he has been roughed up quite a bit more than he was by my demand for an answer. And when the MultDems Chair stepped in I made no attempt to pursue it further. Yet, Rarick not only gave testimony based on personal opinion but made her opinion crystal clear regarding my apologies on multiple occasions, loudly stating that they made her want to puke or vomit.

I am not a politician; I am an activist spurred on by my past association with the Houston GLBT Caucus. (HGLBTPC). I was also involved with Houston ARCH and on the board of the “Botts Collection of LGBT History” prior to it being acquired and wonderfully preserved by the University of Houston. I cannot fathom HGLBTPC ever sanctioning or tolerating such behavior. Former three-term Houston Mayor Annise Parker was a founding member and former Chair.

I will have more to post about Shani Harris-Bagwell, but I am going to move on to McWilliams.

Back in the early Nineties, the AS/400 System Admin at Kino Community Hospital in Tucson, who patiently provided advice and let me know if I was on the verge of causing something uglier than homemade sin. He had a large poster behind his desk of a graveyard with caption that they are full of indispensable men.

Additionally, he advised me that all things considered, the best laid plans of mice and men rarely come to fruition and what a “blivit” is: forty pounds of bull manure in a gunnysack. McWilliams is a gigablivit. Had I agreed to sell my soul and integrity to Rosa and endorse her as she had long attempted to persuade me to do, I not McWilliams would be running things. But then again, unlike McWilliams and her bottom-feeding and transactional underlings I have ethics and commitment to facts.

On December 11th, I believe I posted a comment regarding an SCC delegate and McWilliams evidently still sending out false and unverifiable accusations from over two years ago. I did not identify them by name, county, caucus, committee, or gender. I protected their identity. The only other person that might know who they were would be McWilliams, who I later discovered had blocked me from seeing her page. Furthermore, I suspect this individual was only one of those to whom she sent her PowerPoint presentation for the 2022 recall.

On December 14th, I received a hostile email from this person accusing me of violating my offer of privacy which I had stated when asking them to please forward whatever McWilliams had sent, which I did not do as they never passed the information along. Already at a nadir of depression and not posting anything in the interim, I made only one brief anti-Trump post over the next two months, only recently deciding I had to post or perish.

Had the situations been reversed, I never would have reached out to the individual, as McWilliams did and chastised them for it. They should also be aware that following the unsuccessful recall, Rosa and McWilliams asked for permission to not only review the ballots but to know how each SCC member voted. When Rosa was asked by an Executive Committee member why she and McWilliams wanted the names, she said she preferred not to say.

I, on the other hand, have never asked anyone for anything other than their vote or behaved transactionally to gain it. I never ask for endorsements, and I have never asked anyone how they voted in races in which I was a candidate.

McWilliams, Rosa, Harris-Bagwell, and their toxic sycophants are bullies and to one degree or another facile liars, and like all bullies, cowards. I hope that their days in DPO leadership are numbered and quickly winding down.

I am hoping I might be able to sleep soon and have been far too long at my keyboard. I will continue with McWilliams tomorrow and move on to Rosa Colquitt Sunday.

(--more--)

I posted the following comments on a page for transgender, nonbinary, gender noncomforming, and intersex Democratic delegates to the Democratic National Convention(s) and electeds:
It has been a dreadful year, colored by chronic major depression and near-constant bouts of PTSD. Actually, the roots of this go back about two and a half years ago. I was roundly defeated and rebuffed when I ran for reelection to the DNC in December. I believe that since December 14th, I briefly commented on Reagan and Trump "Democrats" in a repost of a news article.
Since then, I spent at least 16 of every 24 hours in bed, striving to be comatose and unconscious to what was going on around me. Unfortunately, my dreams only amplify my internal dilemma regarding finally addressing those issues. And now, they are impacting my ability to sleep.
I overheard a conversation today regarding the deficinies of the two declared candidates for election as Democratic Party of Oregon (DPO) Chair. Truthfully, I have long believed that none of those who served with me as DPO officers and Admin over my four-year term are fit for reelection to any DPO office.
They were well aware of the malfeasances of the DPO Chair, as well as her and her minions efforts to take over the DPO Stonewall (LGBTQ+) Caucus, that I documented and memorialized to the DPO Chair and its Executive Director over the course of six to seven emails. Via those, and other, emails, every single one of those DPO officers and Admin members were well aware of those transgressions, yet none chose to act.
In the week prior to the November general election, DNC Member Travis Nelson requested the DPO Chair hold an Admin meeting, which the DPO Chair did not honor.
It is starkly ironic that the state Democratic Party of the only state to have ever elected either one or two trans DNC delegates, is in the end transphobic/transmisiac, ageist, and mental health antagonistic.
Today, as a great friend and fishing buddy, and I--mainly them--were working on my 9.9 hp Suzuki outboard, I decided for a multitude of good reasons that I was not only going to begin posting my objections to the aforementioned DPO officers I served with over the past four years--and have known for much longer--I am going to run for DPO Chair on March 16th.
I missed the DPO filing deadline to have my name included on the ballot at the election, but as of this time I am placing my name in nomination as a thoughtful and serious candidate for DPO Chair in 2025. I suspect that I will garner more votes than I did when I ran for reelection to the DNC in December. I am feeling up to running a campaign this time.
Peace!

Over the past two years and five months, there has not been a single day where the events that began with Shani Harris-Bagwell’s personal and racial attack has not haunted my waking thoughts. Thanksgiving was two nights ago. The day before that I was fishing with three good people on my friend’s new Kingfisher 2425 Escape HD out of Depoe Bay.

We caught our individual limits of two lingcod and five rockfish, totaling eight lingcod and twenty rockfish. The eighth lingcod was the next fish caught five minutes after catching our twentieth rockfish.

This was the first time out fishing with his new boat, we took our limiting as a blessing from the quite arbitrary gods of fishing and an excellent omen for his wonderful boat! And so I digress, a dilatory response I have to discussing things of significance needing either immediate attention and/or refutation past and present, with facts.

I tend over the next three to four days to address the major allegations against me two years ago, by a coalition: then Democratic Party of Oregon (DPO) Vice Chair (VC) Rosa Colquitt; Polk County Democrats (PCD) First Vice Chair Kelie McWilliams; Multnomah County Democrats (MCD) state central committee member Robin Stevens; then DPO Secretary Eileen Kiely; and Shani Harris-Bagwell who was a P*P—possibly state central committee (SCC) member or alternate.

I think it most beneficial to address it in chronological order of the events leading up to the attempted recall two years ago. Therefore I will begin with the March of 2022 Winter ASDC/DNC meeting at the Washington Hilton where a particularly odious and patently false claim was made that I threatened to “hack the balls” of a gay man of color. The individual I actually had words with was a gay white attorney from California and had to do with appropriating my agenda for their own and the manner in which I was treated by this individual during and subsequent to my becoming the first transgender DNC member to dare run for Chair of the DNC LGBTQ Caucus.

In the referenced exchange that occurred at an afterhours event, it was of short duration, during which he said nothing. When I finished saying what was on my mind at that time. We both turned and walked away. I have since personally apologized to him at a DNC event. While it bore no resemblance to Kelie McWilliams hearsay of hearsay that could have well come from Stephen Miller, I was not proud of how I handled the situation.

It was glaringly obvious that its intent was to discredit me with the LGBTQ+ community and its allies-- as well as communities of color—in the DPO. It was not about fairness, ethics, or facts. They went as far as to label me a “trans misogynist” knowing that very few that read or heard it had the faintest idea of what the term actually meant. It was frivolously employed and wielded in the hope that their comments would destroy my life and reputation for their own political and personal gain and amusement. A trans misogynist is an individual who believes that trans women are inferior and not real women; it is not a trans person who is a misogynist.

(More to come soon…)

‘Men that want to use women’s restrooms are threatening to kill me’, says Republican A Republican congresswoman claimed men are threatening to kill her after she called for a transgender colleague to be banned from using female bathrooms in the US Capitol. Nancy Mace on Monday introduced a resolution to amend the rules of the US House of Representatives to prevent Sarah McBride, the...

I regret that I have to do so, but this is my political/activist page and I am appalled and dismayed at anyone wanting to coopt or hijack it. Please, do not do so.

Sixteen years ago at this time, I was a guest of the Harris County Psychiatric Center in Houston. I had been there since September 19, 2008, voluntarily.

It was not anywhere or anyplace I wanted to be, but I was nonetheless fortunate to find myself there. I would have otherwise been homeless for all practical purposes.

I had rapidly been spiraling from severe major depression into a full-blown long-term mental (nervous) breakdown. After a few years of chronic major depression and insomnia, fueled by a series of major life crises, culminating in an exponentially disastrous two weeks preceding the 19th:
• turned 55 on the 5th (not really a major issue);
• saw my P*P on Sept. 8th and receiving a script increasing my Paxil and upping my Klonopin from four to six milligrams daily, which temporarily gave me false hope I might survive my circumstances;
• went to work late the following morning (I was driving 120 miles daily to Brenham and back for my job) and was terminated for chronic lateness and calling in sick. Actually, had I not been in a total state of mental disarray, I could have saved my job, but that is a story for another time, and I have no issue with my then employer;
• lost my internet at my apartment due to non-payment of bill about noon on the 10th. I had black and white television and watched “Law and Order’ and anything I was still able to receive on analog;
• I had no cash on hand and only about $40 in my bank account, until I received my severance check, which I needed to refill both the Paxil and Klonopin as I was out;
• I had a nearby liquor store that I bought good wine and liquor from in better days and from whom I still bought Lone Star Light and lesser reds. The owner was kind enough to advance me on a post-dated check, which allowed me to by booze and ci******es. I drank either two to three bottles of wine or a case of beer after work on weekdays and often more on weekends. I drank so I could sleep, which usually amounted to an hour, sometimes two, of what time I was able to sleep;
• The last thing I heard before my internet went down was that a hurricane was likely to hit Houston, but it was estimated to be only a Category One or Two storm. We were about 60 miles north of Galveston, where landfall was predicted, and expected that we might lose power for a while where I lived, but nothing in the way of a long-term and widespread issue;
• I was wrong.

The storm took the power out Friday evening, one week after my birthday, and I finally passed out on the floor, forgetting to turn off my only flashlight and charge my phone before the power died. The few items I had in my refrigerator and its freezer were lost, so I did not have either food, potable water, alcohol, ci******es, or my prescriptions. Fortunately, I had food for my cat.

I spent five days in a ground-floor apartment without power or air conditioning in Houston in early September. It was adequately lit during the daylight hours, but dark as pitch at night. I was so dark in the bathroom that I tripped on the carpet Saturday night, fell across my toilet so hard that I knocked the seat off, and then slammed into the top edge of a fiberglass garden tub. It turns out that I broke multiple ribs.

I lived off beer, warm before ice was available ,two 12-packs a day, and 3-5 packs of Virginia Slims Lights each day. I could not shower or shave as the water was ice-cold, and my ribs screamed as I attempted to bathe. My essential tremors were exacerbated by not only the depression, but the withdrawal from my psych meds, which also took a physical toll.

But enough fond memories, I am only sharing this at this time because I find it not only appalling, but deplorable, that the Democratic Party of Oregon (DPO) and some of its elected and assumptive leadership have no regard for mental health issues. Rather, they quite willingly buy the lies (libel and slander) of an ill-informed and/or factually challenged member who sits at the right-hand of the DPO Chair.

Prior to the assault by Shani Harris-Bagwell, Kelie McWilliams, Robin Givens, Rosa Colquitt and others, I was unaware of any serious issue with anyone in the DPO or Multnomah Democrats (MultDems). I might be the only DPO SCC or Admin member that has never missed an SCC Quarterly Meeting since I first became an SCC member in March of 2015. To the very best of my knowledge I have never been anything but a gracious and thankful guest.

I do not often speak at SCC events, unless called upon by the DPO Chair to do so or discussing one of the several DPO resolutions I have authored and spoken to. As the immediate past DPO Vice Chair and current Democratic National Committee (DNC) member, I try not to influence the outcome of a vote or issue, though I certainly have an opinion.

I do not report to the DPO Chair or DPO Executive Director. I report to the DPO SCC. And contrary to what has no substance, to the best of my knowledge I am not widely reviled in the DNC and there are a number of diverse individuals that would refute that.

What I intended to say ask at the outset was, “What is so broken and wrong with the DPO that its leadership and her minions can be celebrated and legitimized for not only actively persecuting a human being coping with severe mental health issues that while at times stultifying. do not cause irrationality. And why were so many ready to believe the very worst about me without question and not bothering to contact me for the record.

I suspect transphobia plays a larger role in the “progressive” DPO, led by neo-progressives than many are willing to admit. Otherwise, why label me as a “trans misogynist”?

It was an easy way to without cause label me as both “trans” and a “misogynist”. It was intentionally meant to conflate those terms. According to Wikipedia, “Transmisogyny, otherwise known as trans-misogyny and transphobic misogyny, is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny as experienced by trans women and transfeminine people.[1][2] The term was coined by Julia Serano in her 2007 book Whipping Girl to describe a particular form of oppression experienced by trans women.[ Not that it matters, but I have copies of “Whipping Girl” and “Excluded” about five feet to my left.

Those seeking my recall two years ago were not interested in the truth or even a fair crucifixion. They sought no remedial actions. What they wanted was a death penalty. Effectively both ruining my life and a bunch of lies that can never be dignified or verified. There are a couple of email exchanges between Rosa and I within about a month of my criticizing her for her excuse for not attending the DNC Semiannual Meeting in National Harbor, Maryland that need to be read.

Since Harris-Bagwell’s personal attack on me for posting an excellent political cartoon, whose imagery offended only the small troll troupe who rejoice in the “pearls” of her postings. Many of their postings about me were degrading and based on stereotyping, not to mention the unqualified posters who made comments about my mental state and being “dangerous”

It was not I that protracted the issue and neither did I seek any retribution, retaliation, or revenge against any. They, on the other hand, evidently immediately set about to do me the gravest of damage. However, Rosa did not join them until she realized that I was not going to endorse her for DPO Chair, despite the offers she made to entice me. (I intend on posting a couple salient things that substantiate that fact, as well as the retribution for those not willing to endorse her.

I have been cheated out of my term on the DNC and as a member of the now non-existent DPO Admin. Furthermore, this ruined my holidays the past two years. Other than finally being able to defend myself adequately, there is no catharsis in these posts. I deal with PTSD when I revisit any of this. To this day, I have been unable to read the entire recall petition.

Two years ago, I was hanging on by a thread, minute by minute. You have no idea how often and how many times I wished myself dead. My wife, and a cat that KC got us to adopt, are no doubt the main reasons I am still here and still fighting. By the time the recall meeting arrived, I was a shell, unable to defend myself and only able to sincerely apologize for any offense I caused. You should request viewing the tape of the December of 2022 4th Quarter SCC Meeting and recall. I could barely stand, and I only wanted it to be over. But then it never ended.

The moral of this is that though my life appeared ruined and over at 55, I had the good fortune to believe in the “higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks.” And to have met my wife, who is likely the only reason I am still here and have not quit.


Sixteen years ago at this time, I was a guest of the Harris County Psychiatric Center in Houston. I had been there since September 19, 2008, voluntarily.

It was not anywhere or anyplace I wanted to be, but I was nonetheless fortunate to find myself there. I would have otherwise been homeless for all practical purposes.

I had rapidly been spiraling from severe major depression into a full-blown long-term mental (nervous) breakdown. After a few years of chronic major depression and insomnia, fueled by a series of major life crises, culminating in an exponentially disastrous two weeks preceding the 19th:
• turned 55 on the 5th (not really a major issue);
• saw my P*P on Sept. 8th and receiving a script increasing my Paxil and upping my Klonopin from four to six milligrams daily, which temporarily gave me false hope I might survive my circumstances;
• went to work late the following morning (I was driving 120 miles daily to Brenham and back for my job) and was terminated for chronic lateness and calling in sick. Actually, had I not been in a total state of mental disarray, I could have saved my job, but that is a story for another time, and I have no issue with my then employer;
• lost my internet at my apartment due to non-payment of bill about noon on the 10th. I had black and white television and watched “Law and Order’ and anything I was still able to receive on analog;
• I had no cash on hand and only about $40 in my bank account, until I received my severance check, which I needed to refill both the Paxil and Klonopin as I was out;
• I had a nearby liquor store that I bought good wine and liquor from in better days and from whom I still bought Lone Star Light and lesser reds. The owner was kind enough to advance me on a post-dated check, which allowed me to by booze and ci******es. I drank either two to three bottles of wine or a case of beer after work on weekdays and often more on weekends. I drank so I could sleep, which usually amounted to an hour, sometimes two, of what time I was able to sleep;
• The last thing I heard before my internet went down was that a hurricane was likely to hit Houston, but it was estimated to be only a Category One or Two storm. We were about 60 miles north of Galveston, where landfall was predicted, and expected that we might lose power for a while where I lived, but nothing in the way of a long-term and widespread issue;
• I was wrong.

The storm took the power out Friday evening, one week after my birthday, and I finally passed out on the floor, forgetting to turn off my only flashlight and charge my phone before the power died. The few items I had in my refrigerator and its freezer were lost, so I did not have either food, potable water, alcohol, ci******es, or my prescriptions. Fortunately, I had food for my cat.

I spent five days in a ground-floor apartment without power or air conditioning in Houston in early September. It was adequately lit during the daylight hours, but dark as pitch at night. I was so dark in the bathroom that I tripped on the carpet Saturday night, fell across my toilet so hard that I knocked the seat off, and then slammed into the top edge of a fiberglass garden tub. It turns out that I broke multiple ribs.

I lived off beer, warm before ice was available ,two 12-packs a day, and 3-5 packs of Virginia Slims Lights each day. I could not shower or shave as the water was ice-cold, and my ribs screamed as I attempted to bathe. My essential tremors were exacerbated by not only the depression, but the withdrawal from my psych meds, which also took a physical toll.

But enough fond memories, I am only sharing this at this time because I find it not only appalling, but deplorable, that the Democratic Party of Oregon (DPO) and some of its elected and assumptive leadership have no regard for mental health issues. Rather, they quite willingly buy the lies (libel and slander) of an ill-informed and/or factually challenged member who sits at the right-hand of the DPO Chair.

Prior to the assault by Shani Harris-Bagwell, Kelie McWilliams, Robin Givens, Rosa Colquitt and others, I was unaware of any serious issue with anyone in the DPO or Multnomah Democrats (MultDems). I might be the only DPO SCC or Admin member that has never missed an SCC Quarterly Meeting since I first became an SCC member in March of 2015. To the very best of my knowledge I have never been anything but a gracious and thankful guest.

I do not often speak at SCC events, unless called upon by the DPO Chair to do so or discussing one of the several DPO resolutions I have authored and spoken to. As the immediate past DPO Vice Chair and current Democratic National Committee (DNC) member, I try not to influence the outcome of a vote or issue, though I certainly have an opinion.

I do not report to the DPO Chair or DPO Executive Director. I report to the DPO SCC. And contrary to what has no substance, to the best of my knowledge I am not widely reviled in the DNC and there are a number of diverse individuals that would refute that.

What I intended to say ask at the outset was, “What is so broken and wrong with the DPO that its leadership and her minions can be celebrated and legitimized for not only actively persecuting a human being coping with severe mental health issues that while at times stultifying. do not cause irrationality. And why were so many ready to believe the very worst about me without question and not bothering to contact me for the record.

I suspect transphobia plays a larger role in the “progressive” DPO, led by neo-progressives than many are willing to admit. Otherwise, why label me as a “trans misogynist”?

It was an easy way to without cause label me as both “trans” and a “misogynist”. It was intentionally meant to conflate those terms. According to Wikipedia, “Transmisogyny, otherwise known as trans-misogyny and transphobic misogyny, is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny as experienced by trans women and transfeminine people.[1][2] The term was coined by Julia Serano in her 2007 book Whipping Girl to describe a particular form of oppression experienced by trans women.[ Not that it matters, but I have copies of “Whipping Girl” and “Excluded” about five feet to my left.

Those seeking my recall two years ago were not interested in the truth or even a fair crucifixion. They sought no remedial actions. What they wanted was a death penalty. Effectively both ruining my life and a bunch of lies that can never be dignified or verified. There are a couple of email exchanges between Rosa and I within about a month of my criticizing her for her excuse for not attending the DNC Semiannual Meeting in National Harbor, Maryland that need to be read.

Since Harris-Bagwell’s personal attack on me for posting an excellent political cartoon, whose imagery offended only the small troll troupe who rejoice in the “pearls” of her postings. Many of their postings about me were degrading and based on stereotyping, not to mention the unqualified posters who made comments about my mental state and being “dangerous”

It was not I that protracted the issue and neither did I seek any retribution, retaliation, or revenge against any. They, on the other hand, evidently immediately set about to do me the gravest of damage. However, Rosa did not join them until she realized that I was not going to endorse her for DPO Chair, despite the offers she made to entice me. (I intend on posting a couple salient things that substantiate that fact, as well as the retribution for those not willing to endorse her.

I have been cheated out of my term on the DNC and as a member of the now non-existent DPO Admin. Furthermore, this ruined my holidays the past two years. Other than finally being able to defend myself adequately, there is no catharsis in these posts. I deal with PTSD when I revisit any of this. To this day, I have been unable to read the entire recall petition.

Two years ago, I was hanging on by a thread, minute by minute. You have no idea how often and how many times I wished myself dead. My wife, and a cat that KC got us to adopt, are no doubt the main reasons I am still here and still fighting. By the time the recall meeting arrived, I was a shell, unable to defend myself and only able to sincerely apologize for any offense I caused. You should request viewing the tape of the December of 2022 4th Quarter SCC Meeting and recall. I could barely stand, and I only wanted it to be over. But then it never ended.

The moral of this is that though my life appeared ruined and over at 55, I had the good fortune to believe in the “higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks.” And to have met my wife, who is likely the only reason I am still here and have not quit.


Sixteen years ago at this time, I was a guest of the Harris County Psychiatric Center in Houston. I had been there since September 19, 2008, voluntarily.

It was not anywhere or anyplace I wanted to be, but I was nonetheless fortunate to find myself there. I would have otherwise been homeless for all practical purposes.

I had rapidly been spiraling from severe major depression into a full-blown long-term mental (nervous) breakdown. After a few years of chronic major depression and insomnia, fueled by a series of major life crises, culminating in an exponentially disastrous two weeks preceding the 19th:
• turned 55 on the 5th (not really a major issue);
• saw my P*P on Sept. 8th and receiving a script increasing my Paxil and upping my Klonopin from four to six milligrams daily, which temporarily gave me false hope I might survive my circumstances;
• went to work late the following morning (I was driving 120 miles daily to Brenham and back for my job) and was terminated for chronic lateness and calling in sick. Actually, had I not been in a total state of mental disarray, I could have saved my job, but that is a story for another time, and I have no issue with my then employer;
• lost my internet at my apartment due to non-payment of bill about noon on the 10th. I had black and white television and watched “Law and Order’ and anything I was still able to receive on analog;
• I had no cash on hand and only about $40 in my bank account, until I received my severance check, which I needed to refill both the Paxil and Klonopin as I was out;
• I had a nearby liquor store that I bought good wine and liquor from in better days and from whom I still bought Lone Star Light and lesser reds. The owner was kind enough to advance me on a post-dated check, which allowed me to by booze and ci******es. I drank either two to three bottles of wine or a case of beer after work on weekdays and often more on weekends. I drank so I could sleep, which usually amounted to an hour, sometimes two, of what time I was able to sleep;
• The last thing I heard before my internet went down was that a hurricane was likely to hit Houston, but it was estimated to be only a Category One or Two storm. We were about 60 miles north of Galveston, where landfall was predicted, and expected that we might lose power for a while where I lived, but nothing in the way of a long-term and widespread issue;
• I was wrong.

The storm took the power out Friday evening, one week after my birthday, and I finally passed out on the floor, forgetting to turn off my only flashlight and charge my phone before the power died. The few items I had in my refrigerator and its freezer were lost, so I did not have either food, potable water, alcohol, ci******es, or my prescriptions. Fortunately, I had food for my cat.

I spent five days in a ground-floor apartment without power or air conditioning in Houston in early September. It was adequately lit during the daylight hours, but dark as pitch at night. I was so dark in the bathroom that I tripped on the carpet Saturday night, fell across my toilet so hard that I knocked the seat off, and then slammed into the top edge of a fiberglass garden tub. It turns out that I broke multiple ribs.

I lived off beer, warm before ice was available ,two 12-packs a day, and 3-5 packs of Virginia Slims Lights each day. I could not shower or shave as the water was ice-cold, and my ribs screamed as I attempted to bathe. My essential tremors were exacerbated by not only the depression, but the withdrawal from my psych meds, which also took a physical toll.

But enough fond memories, I am only sharing this at this time because I find it not only appalling, but deplorable, that the Democratic Party of Oregon (DPO) and some of its elected and assumptive leadership have no regard for mental health issues. Rather, they quite willingly buy the lies (libel and slander) of an ill-informed and/or factually challenged member who sits at the right-hand of the DPO Chair.

Prior to the assault by Shani Harris-Bagwell, Kelie McWilliams, Robin Givens, Rosa Colquitt and others, I was unaware of any serious issue with anyone in the DPO or Multnomah Democrats (MultDems). I might be the only DPO SCC or Admin member that has never missed an SCC Quarterly Meeting since I first became an SCC member in March of 2015. To the very best of my knowledge I have never been anything but a gracious and thankful guest.

I do not often speak at SCC events, unless called upon by the DPO Chair to do so or discussing one of the several DPO resolutions I have authored and spoken to. As the immediate past DPO Vice Chair and current Democratic National Committee (DNC) member, I try not to influence the outcome of a vote or issue, though I certainly have an opinion.

I do not report to the DPO Chair or DPO Executive Director. I report to the DPO SCC. And contrary to what has no substance, to the best of my knowledge I am not widely reviled in the DNC and there are a number of diverse individuals that would refute that.

What I intended to say ask at the outset was, “What is so broken and wrong with the DPO that its leadership and her minions can be celebrated and legitimized for not only actively persecuting a human being coping with severe mental health issues that while at times stultifying. do not cause irrationality. And why were so many ready to believe the very worst about me without question and not bothering to contact me for the record.

I suspect transphobia plays a larger role in the “progressive” DPO, led by neo-progressives than many are willing to admit. Otherwise, why label me as a “trans misogynist”?

It was an easy way to without cause label me as both “trans” and a “misogynist”. It was intentionally meant to conflate those terms. According to Wikipedia, “Transmisogyny, otherwise known as trans-misogyny and transphobic misogyny, is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny as experienced by trans women and transfeminine people.[1][2] The term was coined by Julia Serano in her 2007 book Whipping Girl to describe a particular form of oppression experienced by trans women.[ Not that it matters, but I have copies of “Whipping Girl” and “Excluded” about five feet to my left.

Those seeking my recall two years ago were not interested in the truth or even a fair crucifixion. They sought no remedial actions. What they wanted was a death penalty. Effectively both ruining my life and a bunch of lies that can never be dignified or verified. There are a couple of email exchanges between Rosa and I within about a month of my criticizing her for her excuse for not attending the DNC Semiannual Meeting in National Harbor, Maryland that need to be read.

Since Harris-Bagwell’s personal attack on me for posting an excellent political cartoon, whose imagery offended only the small troll troupe who rejoice in the “pearls” of her postings. Many of their postings about me were degrading and based on stereotyping, not to mention the unqualified posters who made comments about my mental state and being “dangerous”

It was not I that protracted the issue and neither did I seek any retribution, retaliation, or revenge against any. They, on the other hand, evidently immediately set about to do me the gravest of damage. However, Rosa did not join them until she realized that I was not going to endorse her for DPO Chair, despite the offers she made to entice me. (I intend on posting a couple salient things that substantiate that fact, as well as the retribution for those not willing to endorse her.

I have been cheated out of my term on the DNC and as a member of the now non-existent DPO Admin. Furthermore, this ruined my holidays the past two years. Other than finally being able to defend myself adequately, there is no catharsis in these posts. I deal with PTSD when I revisit any of this. To this day, I have been unable to read the entire recall petition.

Two years ago, I was hanging on by a thread, minute by minute. You have no idea how often and how many times I wished myself dead. My wife, and a cat that KC got us to adopt, are no doubt the main reasons I am still here and still fighting. By the time the recall meeting arrived, I was a shell, unable to defend myself and only able to sincerely apologize for any offense I caused. You should request viewing the tape of the December of 2022 4th Quarter SCC Meeting and recall. I could barely stand, and I only wanted it to be over. But then it never ended.

The moral of this is that though my life appeared ruined and over at 55, I had the good fortune to believe in the “higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks.” And to have met my wife, who is likely the only reason I am still here and have not quit.


Sixteen years ago at this time, I was a guest of the Harris County Psychiatric Center in Houston. I had been there since September 19, 2008, voluntarily.

It was not anywhere or anyplace I wanted to be, but I was nonetheless fortunate to find myself there. I would have otherwise been homeless for all practical purposes.

I had rapidly been spiraling from severe major depression into a full-blown long-term mental (nervous) breakdown. After a few years of chronic major depression and insomnia, fueled by a series of major life crises, culminating in an exponentially disastrous two weeks preceding the 19th:
• turned 55 on the 5th (not really a major issue);
• saw my P*P on Sept. 8th and receiving a script increasing my Paxil and upping my Klonopin from four to six milligrams daily, which temporarily gave me false hope I might survive my circumstances;
• went to work late the following morning (I was driving 120 miles daily to Brenham and back for my job) and was terminated for chronic lateness and calling in sick. Actually, had I not been in a total state of mental disarray, I could have saved my job, but that is a story for another time, and I have no issue with my then employer;
• lost my internet at my apartment due to non-payment of bill about noon on the 10th. I had black and white television and watched “Law and Order’ and anything I was still able to receive on analog;
• I had no cash on hand and only about $40 in my bank account, until I received my severance check, which I needed to refill both the Paxil and Klonopin as I was out;
• I had a nearby liquor store that I bought good wine and liquor from in better days and from whom I still bought Lone Star Light and lesser reds. The owner was kind enough to advance me on a post-dated check, which allowed me to by booze and ci******es. I drank either two to three bottles of wine or a case of beer after work on weekdays and often more on weekends. I drank so I could sleep, which usually amounted to an hour, sometimes two, of what time I was able to sleep;
• The last thing I heard before my internet went down was that a hurricane was likely to hit Houston, but it was estimated to be only a Category One or Two storm. We were about 60 miles north of Galveston, where landfall was predicted, and expected that we might lose power for a while where I lived, but nothing in the way of a long-term and widespread issue;
• I was wrong.

The storm took the power out Friday evening, one week after my birthday, and I finally passed out on the floor, forgetting to turn off my only flashlight and charge my phone before the power died. The few items I had in my refrigerator and its freezer were lost, so I did not have either food, potable water, alcohol, ci******es, or my prescriptions. Fortunately, I had food for my cat.

I spent five days in a ground-floor apartment without power or air conditioning in Houston in early September. It was adequately lit during the daylight hours, but dark as pitch at night. I was so dark in the bathroom that I tripped on the carpet Saturday night, fell across my toilet so hard that I knocked the seat off, and then slammed into the top edge of a fiberglass garden tub. It turns out that I broke multiple ribs.

I lived off beer, warm before ice was available ,two 12-packs a day, and 3-5 packs of Virginia Slims Lights each day. I could not shower or shave as the water was ice-cold, and my ribs screamed as I attempted to bathe. My essential tremors were exacerbated by not only the depression, but the withdrawal from my psych meds, which also took a physical toll.

But enough fond memories, I am only sharing this at this time because I find it not only appalling, but deplorable, that the Democratic Party of Oregon (DPO) and some of its elected and assumptive leadership have no regard for mental health issues. Rather, they quite willingly buy the lies (libel and slander) of an ill-informed and/or factually challenged member who sits at the right-hand of the DPO Chair.

Prior to the assault by Shani Harris-Bagwell, Kelie McWilliams, Robin Givens, Rosa Colquitt and others, I was unaware of any serious issue with anyone in the DPO or Multnomah Democrats (MultDems). I might be the only DPO SCC or Admin member that has never missed an SCC Quarterly Meeting since I first became an SCC member in March of 2015. To the very best of my knowledge I have never been anything but a gracious and thankful guest.

I do not often speak at SCC events, unless called upon by the DPO Chair to do so or discussing one of the several DPO resolutions I have authored and spoken to. As the immediate past DPO Vice Chair and current Democratic National Committee (DNC) member, I try not to influence the outcome of a vote or issue, though I certainly have an opinion.

I do not report to the DPO Chair or DPO Executive Director. I report to the DPO SCC. And contrary to what has no substance, to the best of my knowledge I am not widely reviled in the DNC and there are a number of diverse individuals that would refute that.

What I intended to say ask at the outset was, “What is so broken and wrong with the DPO that its leadership and her minions can be celebrated and legitimized for not only actively persecuting a human being coping with severe mental health issues that while at times stultifying. do not cause irrationality. And why were so many ready to believe the very worst about me without question and not bothering to contact me for the record.

I suspect transphobia plays a larger role in the “progressive” DPO, led by neo-progressives than many are willing to admit. Otherwise, why label me as a “trans misogynist”?

It was an easy way to without cause label me as both “trans” and a “misogynist”. It was intentionally meant to conflate those terms. According to Wikipedia, “Transmisogyny, otherwise known as trans-misogyny and transphobic misogyny, is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny as experienced by trans women and transfeminine people.[1][2] The term was coined by Julia Serano in her 2007 book Whipping Girl to describe a particular form of oppression experienced by trans women.[ Not that it matters, but I have copies of “Whipping Girl” and “Excluded” about five feet to my left.

Those seeking my recall two years ago were not interested in the truth or even a fair crucifixion. They sought no remedial actions. What they wanted was a death penalty. Effectively both ruining my life and a bunch of lies that can never be dignified or verified. There are a couple of email exchanges between Rosa and I within about a month of my criticizing her for her excuse for not attending the DNC Semiannual Meeting in National Harbor, Maryland that need to be read.

Since Harris-Bagwell’s personal attack on me for posting an excellent political cartoon, whose imagery offended only the small troll troupe who rejoice in the “pearls” of her postings. Many of their postings about me were degrading and based on stereotyping, not to mention the unqualified posters who made comments about my mental state and being “dangerous”

It was not I that protracted the issue and neither did I seek any retribution, retaliation, or revenge against any. They, on the other hand, evidently immediately set about to do me the gravest of damage. However, Rosa did not join them until she realized that I was not going to endorse her for DPO Chair, despite the offers she made to entice me. (I intend on posting a couple salient things that substantiate that fact, as well as the retribution for those not willing to endorse her.

I have been cheated out of my term on the DNC and as a member of the now non-existent DPO Admin. Furthermore, this ruined my holidays the past two years. Other than finally being able to defend myself adequately, there is no catharsis in these posts. I deal with PTSD when I revisit any of this. To this day, I have been unable to read the entire recall petition.

Two years ago, I was hanging on by a thread, minute by minute. You have no idea how often and how many times I wished myself dead. My wife, and a cat that KC got us to adopt, are no doubt the main reasons I am still here and still fighting. By the time the recall meeting arrived, I was a shell, unable to defend myself and only able to sincerely apologize for any offense I caused. You should request viewing the tape of the December of 2022 4th Quarter SCC Meeting and recall. I could barely stand, and I only wanted it to be over. But then it never ended.

The moral of this is that though my life appeared ruined and over at 55, I had the good fortune to believe in the “higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks.” And to have met my wife, who is likely the only reason I am still here and have not quit.