Olessia

I’m 37 and I’ve worked in HR and recruitment for 12 years.
Here’s what I wish I knew at 25.

1. Hard work is nice but how you’re perceived is more important. Late nights and great work don’t matter if you’re still perceived as the junior.

2. Confidence comes from experience, resilience and action. Not from faking it. You can’t posture your way into real confidence. You can’t manifest it. You can’t talk yourself into it in the mirror. Confidence comes from doing uncomfortable things, surviving awkward meetings, making mistakes and realizing you didn’t die. It’s built through proof, not pretending.

3. Learn to behave, dress, eat and speak like the 1% if you want to be promoted. Watch how senior leaders carry themselves. How they sit in meetings. How they pause before speaking. How they order at business dinners. How they dress without looking like they’re trying too hard. Lack of manners, etiquette and polish will quietly hold you back even if your work is excellent.

4. Once you learn those things, people treat you better. You’ll notice the shift. People interrupt you less. They second guess you less. Even in toxic environments, people won’t allow themselves to speak to you the way they speak to everyone else. Presence changes how you’re handled.

5. Being bubbly and soft will make things harder for you. You’ll be liked. But you won’t always be respected. If you’re always agreeable, always smiling, always over-explaining, people unconsciously rank you lower. Learn to be assertive. Say things cleanly. Don’t rush your words. You’ll get respect faster.

6. There’s integrity and there’s loyalty. They are not the same. Loyalty will keep you underpaid and overlooked and it will rarely be returned by the company or leaders. Integrity is knowing you did your best, delivered real value and left for the right reasons when it was time. Staying for less money out of loyalty is not integrity.

If you’re 25, save this.
If you’re 35+, tell me what you’d add.

I’ve been a recruiter for 12 years.
Here are the interview truths no one says out loud.

1. If you can’t pass the “beer test,” you’re probably not getting hired. Skills matter, but people hire the person they want to work with.
2. Hiring teams are biased, and it’s not your imagination. I’ve heard people explicitly say they don’t want someone because they’re too young, too old, or might get pregnant.
3. Most hiring teams are not trained to interview. That’s why taking control of the interview and being likeable matters more than having perfect answers.
4. You will be asked the same questions over and over throughout your career. They’re just phrased differently. Once you learn to anticipate them, interviews stop feeling random.
5. The “right” answer isn’t on Google or ChatGPT. When you memorize answers, you sound inauthentic and people don’t trust you.
6. Manners and basic etiquette still set great candidates apart every time. How you show up, listen, follow up, and treat people matters.
7. Before the interview even starts, the hiring team already has an opinion about you. Your emails, communication, and experience all shape that opinion.
8. If you’re applying for a senior role, people are talking about you behind the scenes. Back-channel calls are being made without your knowledge or consent.
9. Your social media is very likely being checked. If it’s not aligned with the role, you may never know why you didn’t get the job.
10. Arrogance, overconfidence, negativity, and insecurity are all career-limiting. The best candidates are humble, grounded, confident, and positive.
11. You can be excellent at your job and still lose the offer. If you can’t explain what you do and why it matters in a way the hiring team understands, you won’t get hired.

That’s why I do interview training and created an online course to help you prepare.
Link in bio.

DM LEADER for the list of questions I ask in leadership interviews.