Heinous Acres

We got a good deal on some “legal” komodo dragon eggs from Indonesia. The Heinous Acres petting zoo is going to be a whole lot more exciting this summer!

Free snake with every purchase of $50 or more from our gift shop. Bucket not included.

Tickets now on sale for our latest attraction, the Heinous Acres Skydick(tm). $1 for a glance, $3 for a gander.

My mealworms bring all the hens to the yard.

Genuine Heinous Acres organic eggs, $1 each at our gift shop. Free if thrown at your car by a member of our staff.

This week only- throw whatever you want into the woodchipper for $10!

(Some restrictions apply, obviously.)

Here we see Heinous Amos, one of our resident therapy turtles, enjoying his favorite treat- a big stinky pile of dog s**t.

We bought a new farm truck down here at Heinous Acres.

This is not the box of chicken I ordered.

Bockingham Palace is finally getting some tenants this week. Look for genuine Heinous Acres Farms eggs at your less reputable grocery stores and bodegas.

Visitors to our new Drive Through Deer Safari are warned to stay in their cars for the duration of the route.