Hot Mess Porter Express
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Hot mess mom of 4 feral gremlins. Anxiety enthusiast. Surviving on iced coffee and chaos. *Technically* a healthcare worker and children’s book author.
Please leave your ridiculous unhinged tips for fighting when married below, I need more of these 😈
05/27/2026
Respectfully, move the kid 20 feet away. There no need to break out the hypotenuses.
Ew, math. 🤮
Why is the boy sitting so close to a tree in the first place? 😭
04/27/2026
POV: Two of my children just stood up and said “Dinner was great, thank you mommy!”
Aunt Vicki gave Alex a core memory in Florida 🥹😂
02/02/2026
Throwback to this photoshop job. I paid for this.
My sweet Addison
What’s for dinner tonight?
Drop your favorite recipes below ⬇️ 👇
I’m the mom messaging the teacher asking for extra copies of homework because the toddler attacked it with a pen.
I see other moms on social media showing everything looking picture perfect.
I am not that mom.
I have 4 kids, and the house is a constant mess. It’s noisy. It’s chaotic.
Some seasons are loud and messy.
That’s not failure. That’s life. It can be simultaneously exhausting and meaningful.
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