DocShellie: Emerging You

One of the most important lessons pickleball keeps teaching me is this:

You can't win the point that's already over. Trust me, I've tried! 🤣

The missed shot. The poor decisions. That shot you wish you handled differently... None of them improve by replaying them.

The next point is where your opportunity lives.

Leadership isn't much different.

The leaders who recover fastest aren't the ones who never make mistakes. They're the ones who don't stay stuck in them.

What helps you move on when something doesn't go the way you planned?

One of the hardest things about personal growth isn't learning what to do. It's trusting what you already know.

You know when you're exhausted. You know when a boundary needs to be set. You know when you're shrinking yourself to keep someone else comfortable.

Most of us don't struggle with awareness. We struggle with permission... Permission to trust ourselves, to choose differently, to stop waiting for consensus.

What is something you've known for a while and haven't acted on yet?

One of the things pickleball teaches you very quickly is that frustration doesn’t improve your next shot.

Trust me. I’ve tested this theory, extensively. 🤣

The missed serve.
The shot into the net.
The point you should have won.

You can spend the next rally replaying what just happened…

Or you can focus on what’s happening now.

Leadership is not much different.

Mistakes happen.
Conversations go sideways.
Projects fail.
Plans change.

The leaders who recover fastest aren’t the ones who never make mistakes. They’re the ones who don’t stay stuck in them.

What helps you reset after a tough day?

Lately I’ve been paying attention to what gives me energy instead of only focusing on what takes it away.

More tea.
More dogs.
More pickleball (as if that surprised anyone!).
More meaningful conversations.
More laughter.
And yes, more ukulele (well, more music in general, but I enjoy learning new songs on that little stringed instrument).

Turns out energy management isn’t just about protecting your capacity. It’s also about intentionally filling it.

What’s something that’s giving you energy lately?

Sometimes the problem isn't that you don't know what to do. The problem is, you already know!

You know the boundary you need to set, or the conversation you need to have. You know that commitment you've long outgrown. You know what your body, mind, or heart has been trying to tell you.

The hard part is trusting yourself enough to act on what you already know.

🎙 A recent She Rises Daily: Emerging You in 10 episode (EP 490) had me reflecting on just how often we look for outside confirmation when the answer is already quietly sitting inside us.

Have you ever known exactly what you needed to do...and waited anyway?

One of the most important leadership lessons I’ve learned didn’t come from a classroom, a coaching certification, or a boardroom.

It came from a pickleball court.

Missed shots happen.
Bad calls happen.
Bad games happen.

The best players don’t spend much time arguing with the last point.

They focus on the next one.

That lesson applies everywhere else in life.

The meeting that didn’t go well.
The conversation you wish you’d handled differently.
The opportunity you missed.
The mistake you made.

You can’t win the point that’s already over. You can only play the next one.

What’s one “next shot” you’re focused on right now?

I think we’ve been sold the idea that whenever we’re stuck, we need MORE... more motivation, more discipline more productivity, and/or more effort.

And MAYBE that's true...

Though sometimes the issue isn’t a lack of motivation. It’s an abundance of energy leaks.

I’ve certainly had seasons where I thought I needed to push harder when what I really needed was to stop carrying things that no longer belonged to me.

Responsibilities.
Expectations.
Other people’s emotions.
Projects that had run their course.

Growth isn’t always about adding more, sometimes it's about a conscious choice on deciding what gets to stay!

What’s one thing you might need less of right now?

A little tea. A little quiet. A little perspective.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much pressure we put on ourselves to constantly produce, achieve, improve, optimize, and push forward. Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is pause long enough to hear ourselves think. (I LOVE think time!)

Not every season is about acceleration.

Some seasons are about reflection.
Some are about recovery.
Some are about deciding what deserves your energy moving forward.

Today (after a little golf) I’m choosing tea, a slower pace, and a little breathing room.

What are you choosing for yourself this weekend?

I think a lot of people are calling themselves “burned out” when what they may actually be is overextended and there is a difference.

Burnout often comes after prolonged depletion. Overextension is what happens when too many responsibilities, expectations, emotions, and obligations are competing for the same finite energy.

I know that feeling personally -- when nothing is technically wrong, though your brain is tired, your patience is shorter, and even small tasks feel heavier than they should.

That’s what inspired this She Rises Daily episode:
🎙️ 443: You’re Not Burned Out, You’re Overextended.

Maybe the answer isn’t pushing harder. Maybe it’s reevaluating what’s asking too much of you.

Last week: facilitating leadership sessions, reading the room, moving energy, adapting on the fly, and running on purpose, adrenaline, and caffeine. 😂

This week: sitting in a virtual all-day training as a participant for four straight days and WOW… I forgot how exhausting it is to be on the other side of the screen.

And to top it off… we are only an hour and a half into DAY TWO and I am already mentally drafting my own rescue mission. 😆

It’s been a good reminder, honestly. Even great facilitators can have a style that just doesn’t match your learning rhythm. Slow pacing, repetition, wide ranges of experience in the room… and suddenly your nervous system is whispering, “Wait. Why aren’t WE driving this thing?”

There’s something valuable about experiencing participant fatigue again, though. It reminds me how important energy, pacing, engagement, movement, and variety really are in learning spaces.

Also reminds me to have a little extra compassion for every participant who has ever survived breakout room #12 while silently wondering what year it is.

Words change worlds… and apparently so do four consecutive days on Zoom. 🤔