Nervous System Notes

I was 12. TWELVE. And he was a family friend

Sh*ts deep

You tried manipulating me while I tried healing you.
It still amazes me how we were fighting two completely different battles, yet standing in the same relationship.

You wanted power, control, and obedience while all I wanted was peace, understanding, and a chance to fix what was broken.

I kept pouring love into the wounds you kept pretending didn’t exist.

I offered patience where you offered mind games.

I tried to save you from your demons while you kept feeding mine.

It’s funny, is it not?
How two damaged souls can carry the same pain but express it so differently.

You weaponized your wounds and used them to hurt others.
Twisting truths, manipulating emotions, making people bleed and still calling it love.

And then there’s me;
The kind of broken that hurts inward,
The kind that apologizes just to stop an argument,
The kind that forgives too quickly, cries in silence, and destroys itself trying to keep others from falling apart.

Two people, both scarred yet one harms the world,
While the other sacrifices themselves just to protect it.

You were never too sensitive. You just needed a place where your feelings were safe, not silenced. 🤍

🙏

And even when it was not graceful, she grew, she learned, she survived….
J. Raymond