Midnightscreeningart

"leaving las vegas (attempted)"
magazine cut outs, 2026

the piece says "attempted" bc i really would like to make more art about the film "leaving las vegas" due to how personal it feels to me. but it is also very difficult to approach. it was a movie that was recommended to me by my ex after he saw it and said that he really saw himself in nicolas cage's character, ben. i have only ever seen it twice and i cried the entire way through both times bc it all felt so familiar. i have also read the book, which was extremely difficult for me to get through despite reading it over the course of a few days. many people find this piece funny, but a part of me feels sad when I witness those reactions bc I made this piece when I was sad. (and it's not a bad thing if it makes you laugh, it just wasn't my intention when I was making it!) then again, I often use humor to mask bad experiences or as a way to cope with them. in any case if you haven't seen the film I highly recommend it, despite it being so upsetting. I can also say that cage's performance in "leaving las vegas" is very real, he's not overacting. i hope one day to explore this film through art more bc it's hard such a deep effect on me. for now, i have this.

"light travels"
magazine cut outs, 2026

i meant to post this on my birthday two days ago and forgot. i feel like i go back and forth about my birthday a lot. i want to make a big deal about it bc that's what your supposed to do, right? but whenever I get any sort of attention, i tend to shrink inwards bc i have no idea how I'm supposed to react to it. i frequently feel like an imposter, or inadequate and guilty, so any sort of praise makes me uncomfortable. im never sure if it's truly deserved or earned. anyway, my birthday this year was equal amounts of stressful and okay. i spent half of it running around denver, doing last minute errands for an art market, cleaning my apartment. the other half watching Dredd, Mortal Kombat videos, and seeing my best friend who flew all the way from El Paso to visit (wowee!). the day before I got my first stripe in jiujitsu. had a pretty successful day at a pride market yesterday (minus a couple sunburns). pretty good overall I think, and much better than other years in the past. this piece is about the passage of time, how you and your circumstances change, and how things usually get better after they seem to get worse. one day my anxiety will realize that and let me relax, one day.

"cirice"
magazine cutouts, museum pamphlets, 2026

a few things to say about this one. i constantly forget how much this songs means to me. it's one of those, "wow they wrote this specifically for me," type of songs that i know wasn't written for me but it feels like a gentle hug when i listen to it. meliora as a whole is such a wonderful album and the concept of being in pursuit of something better has really resonated with me since it came out. it's also funny to me that this band is the reason I started going back to church earlier this year. since that decision there's been a few interesting things that have been happening in my life lately. mostly good which is nice. but just little things that make me feel like someone is looking out for me. finally being able to go back to church properly has really done wonders and I'm very happy about it. i know a lot of people sont like religion and that's fine, this is just my own experience after basically renouncing religion for over 10 years. given what's been happening this year, i really picked an interesting time to return to Catholicism. anyway shoutout to for helping me find faith again, y'all are real ones.

"but not tonight"
magazine cutouts, 2026

thinking about sharing some work that hasn't been featured in any shows. ive been enjoying collage as an emotional outlet lately. it really relies on my intuition and I don't feel like I have to plan it as intricately as other work I do. it's also very soothing to just look at old magazines and cut the pictures out. enjoy.

"blue hour gate"
magazine cut outs, 2026

i wanted to come up with a really clever name for this one but I could think of anything so I'm just going to name it after the song it's inspired by. since getting a protection order against my abuser I've been thinking about how different my current living situation is. it's not perfect and my brain makes it hard to exist at times, but I'm not afraid to go home anymore. i actually look forward to it. there was a time when I was always terrified of going home and going to work, there wasn't a safe place unless I was with friends and even then it wasnt always guaranteed. something that helped me find some calm in those moments of fear was listening to Blue Hour Gate by the band . there's a lot of symbolism in the lyrics that I never really caught onto until making this piece, it was just music that gave me a sense of safety when I had none. this piece was not included in the show but it ties into the work I made for it, especially the previous piece "us and them." it's a piece that feels more joyful and reflects how I'm trying to live my life nowadays. I'm rediscovering myself in a lot of ways. I'm practicing martial arts again, i can enjoy concerts and the movies again, i can make art and be vulnerable in it, i can participate in art markets, i can surround myself with friends, i can dress in a way that makes me feel comfortable again, and I can feel safe at home and at work. I'm very grateful for all that.

"us and them"
magazine cutouts, 2026

a piece about how i don't always feel like a real person. there's always been some weird feeling in the back of my head that im not like other people. in the sense that i feel like everyone else got a blueprint on how exist and i didn't. people just know things like social cues, how to make friends, how to make small talk, how to recognize small flags in other people, how to use tone in conversation, what facial expressions to make, etc. I've never gotten that. not really. i just try to mimic what I would see in cartoons or movies only to be confused when other people don't match the energy I give. i didn't get it as a kid and I still don't. but I think I try less to fit into whatever predetermined rules society has for people and try harder to be myself now. it's a lot easier to exist that way. since cutting my abuser out of my life it's been quite a journey rediscovering things I have always loved and lost for so long because one person (and sometimes many) made me feel so horrible for enjoying them. often belittling my interests to force their own upon me, only to get upset when I started showing real interest in it and learning more about it than they did. or weaponizing the difficulty I have in understanding unwritten neurotypical "rules." maybe they didn't want me to have anything of my own? maybe they just wanted to "other" me so I would continue to feel like no one would ever accept me. i really don't know. it's still hard for me to even consider that people actually enjoy my presence but when they remind me they do it means a lot. and it proves that maybe there isn't anything wrong with me. it just takes time.

"minor setback"
magazine cutouts, 2026

just an fyi dracula has nothing to do with any symbolism found in this piece, i picked the bag bc I liked the design and the bold red letters. this piece is mostly about the color red itself and my struggle to accept how others perceived me. the color red is a tough one for me bc it has so many meanings: love, passion, sacrifice, danger, anger, sanctity, life, bravery, war, etc. i think it works in the context of the relationship these pieces are about, in the sense that many of those words can be attached to different parts of that relationship. the color red, as a symbol, has many layers and so does any relationship. so do people. i get nervous when people make me feel like they're attaching meanings or symbols to me that don't fit with the perception I have of myself. the most upsetting and scary relationships/friendships I've had, have been with people who try to put me on a pedestal and are devastated when I don't live up to that expectation. the items in this piece seem high end to me, which is not how I perceive myself. i hesitate to say I'm anything close to smart, high-brow, special, talented, etc. and it makes me nervous when people put those expectations on me bc I can be such a du***ss the majority of the time. I'm here doing my best and trying to be better than I was yesterday. this isn't meant to be self-deprecating really, I just have terrible imposter syndrome. I'm trying to learn how be a person and I hope any good traits I may have shine through on their own.

"the visitors"
magazine cutouts, 2026

i think the song really captures the stress i hoped to create with this piece. there's a bit of symbolism going on here for me. the whiskey is from a advertisement, something that I usually associate with good things bc it's related to . but here I'm trying to convey the stress I associated with alcohol when I was living with the person behind the stress. the flip phone makes me think of how quickly a nice phone call would "flip" and eventually turn into them yelling at me over the phone or bombarding me with calls at work, home, and on vacation. from an era where there was some privacy to a situation where i had none. the bat really just bills down to fear and how random things feel like weapons now bc of memories I with them. but I'm working on creating new associations, little by little. if you're reading these, thanks for taking the time to do so.

"suffer well"
magazine cutouts, 2026

i like this piece bc i hope it makes the viewer wonder if she's afraid of someone that's not in frame or if she's afraid of the man holding her. take it as you will. for me it's the internalized reaction i would feel when i would hear, "let's go out somewhere." i would never know how it was going to go. title of the featured song/work makes me think of a very specific thing he said to me once when i said i didn't to be him anymore. again, take that how you will.

"a real indication"
magazine cutouts, 2026

moving on to artwork i created for "dominion" a show hosted by that featured work by members. thank you all for hosting us.

the following work is my interpretation of the shows theme which focused on mankind's relationship with nature, people, and living creatures. how we can choose to coexist and nurture one another; or we can choose to exert dominance and instill fear in one another. i chose to use this particular theme as a way to create artwork that could help me navigate things/trauma i experienced while being in an abusive relationship. some of which has been resurfacing as I have been trying to visit certain places, watch specific media, rediscover my true self, etc. on my own terms after ~2 years of being free from it all. not sure if that makes sense or how much detail I'll go into the meaning of these works. if there's any intrigue, feel free to comment. these are older pieces from the start of the year. enjoy.