Nikki Patin

Whew! What a month! Jeff’s been settling in nicely and we’ve reconfigured and reorganized, though that’ll be happening for a minute.

For the first time since I’ve lived in a house, I didn’t have to shovel snow and my car was nicely warmed up before I drove to work yesterday morning.

And where exactly am I working?

For the first time in my life, I’m not making that public knowledge, though I suspect it may filter out over the next few weeks.

Also, I haven’t touched a garbage bag in weeks and am currently feasting on grilled steak while delighting in the beauty of a gorgeous bouquet of flowers that my family got me to congratulate me on the next steps in my journey.

Who knew that having my child’s other parent actively involved and present would have such amazing outcomes for our collective mental health?

Actually, we knew, which is why we decided to try this audacious plan for our family.

This first month has been intense but also delightful and filled with a lot of laughter, big feelings, hard conversations, a metric ton of grace and an even greater amount of love.

I feel very lucky, very loved, and very blessed.

Life is good and getting better all the time 💖

The genetics of both sides have finally caught up to Bunny and now his face gets to look like math class, just like both of his very nerdly parents. And yes, I meant nerdly, lol.

No, but for real, we’re so excited for his first pair of glasses because we each remember what it was like when we both first started wearing them.

Total rite of passage

😍😍😍

Guess who made The Network - Advocating Against Domestic Violence’s recommended reading list for DV month?

I’m on page 2 of this mighty list…a whole bridge between advocacy and the arts.

Cop yours and support survivors

Are you ready to learn, reflect, and take action against gender-based violence?

Explore our Bookshop Recommended Reading List, curated to deepen understanding and inspire change. Every book you buy supports local bookstores and survivors of domestic violence via our affiliate link.

📚: bookshop.org/lists/the-network-recommended-reading

Let’s raise awareness. Let’s end the silence. Let’s !

Bear’s Dad has moved in with us.

A couple of months ago, I was on the verge of packing Bunny and I up and moving us out of our house and to a city far, far away. I was fed up with the work and financial strain of our very old house and wanted out.

When I told .son he was supportive but then called me a few days later to ask how I felt about him moving in with us to help with the house repairs, be a parent to Bear full-time and help take some of the financial strain off my shoulders.

I was hesitant. The thought of being in a new place was really inspiring to me and I looked forward to getting rid of this house, which is lovely but massive and entails a lot of labor.

However. I thought about my son having the chance to live out the last of his childhood with both parents with him 24/7. I thought about being too far away from my Mom and Jeff’s family as Bear transitions towards adulthood. And I thought about what it might mean to not carry everything on my own, to have my child’s father and one of my dearest friends by my side as I navigate this thing called life.

It was a no-brainer.

We talked through budgets, boundaries, timelines.

Fears, misgivings, and what everyone around us might think.

We talked to Bear about how he felt about all this.

We talked about the state of how we relate to each other now: non-romantic but deeply familial and connected.

We decided to do it. After 8 years in Minnesota, Jeff moved in with us this past week. Likely, we’ll document this truly unconventional co-parenting/family journey we’re on, though we haven’t decided if it’s a podcast or journaling or TikToks.

We just know that we’re better together right now, that our son is better off with both parents here for him at home and that we needed to join forces, especially in times like these.

Though it’s not the way it was in its first form, for those of you who may remember: is back!

And we’re better than ever.

I’m grateful for my family and we’re grateful for each other. Life’s too short and times are too wild to do anything but love each other and that’s exactly what we’re doing 💖

One week from today, I’ll be the closing speaker, representing the Mic at “You Are Not Alone,” a Domestic Violence Awareness Month community event organized by and featuring some incredible organizations that support and uplift survivors of domestic violence.

We’re gathering at Daley Plaza from 12-1pm and I’ll premiere two new poems that have never been read or heard anywhere publicly, including a sestina entitled “POW” and “Turn the Tide,” a piece highlighting how I taught myself how to swim after nearly drowning at age 6 as a metaphor for survivorhood.

This is a rare opportunity to hear from survivors and their advocates about domestic violence and its impact on us all.

For those of you who work or might be hanging downtown, please join us to witness and support at this powerful event that is free and accessible to all.

October is DV Awareness Month and I’m grateful to help kick off the month by amplifying those we need to hear from most: SURVIVORS.

I just love, love, love how Bear designs using only paper towels and rubber bands! For someone who’s 12 and doesn’t know how to sew, his eye for shapes and proportions is immaculate. This is one of those designs that I’d love someone to create for me in my size. Let us know if you’re ever looking for a 12 year old designer

New headshot, who dis?