Erica in the Middle

Some of us don’t want the next promotion.

We want fewer meetings, fewer politics, less emotional labor, and more time doing the work we were actually good at before “growth” meant managing everyone else.

That isn’t a lack of ambition.

It is an honest response to understanding what the next level would require, and deciding the title is not worth the cost.

The harder part is figuring out what to pursue instead.

Start with these questions:
1. What part of your current work do you want to keep?
2. What responsibility are you no longer willing to carry?
3. What do you want the next season of work to make possible outside of work?

You may not need to quit your career.
You may need to reshape it.

What do you want more of right now: time, peace, autonomy, or money?

I thought we needed to be 100% ready to move to Spain.

Jobs lined up. Schools sorted. Housing secured. Visas approved. A clear financial plan. All the answers.

We had almost none of it.

And I’m so glad we didn’t wait.

Because “when things are more stable” is not a date. It’s a feeling that never actually arrives. I’ve watched people say it for 3 years straight and then say it again.

What we did have was a clear why, a plan that wasn’t perfect, and a willingness to figure the rest out as we went.

That was enough.

Has it been messy? Yes. Bureaucracy. Career questions. Financial adjustments. Moments of doubt. Logistics that took 4x longer than anyone told us.

None of that means we made the wrong decision. It means it’s real life, and real life is rarely a straight line.

So if you’ve been waiting until every detail is sorted:

You don’t need your entire life figured out to go after a life you want. You need to be willing to take 1 next step.

Save this for the day you’re brave enough to reread it.

And tell me in the comments: what’s the one detail you’re waiting on before you let yourself take this seriously?

I do not want to quit forever. I just need work to leave me alone long enough to recover.

There are people who still care about their careers and have absolutely nothing left to give them right now.

They are not dreaming about a year-long sabbatical funded by a huge savings account.

They are trying to figure out whether they can use PTO, take medical leave, reduce their hours, pick up contract work, or survive even a few weeks without a full paycheck.

And underneath all of that is the fear:
What if I step away and nobody wants me when I come back?
If you are considering a break, protect what you have already built before you leave.

Update your résumé while you still remember the details. Save a record of your accomplishments. Get personal contact information for people who know your work. Understand what will happen to your income, insurance, and benefits. Decide when you will check in with yourself about returning.

If a full break is not financially possible, look at the version that might be.
A short-term leave. A reduced schedule. Contract work. An internal move. A temporary job that asks less from you.

You do not have to turn your break into another achievement.
You need enough room to become a person again outside of work.

What would make taking a career break feel possible for you?

Find your passion.
Do what you love.
Choose a career that fulfills you.

We heard these messages so often that many of us started believing work was supposed to feel meaningful, exciting, and right all the time.

Then real life happened.

The job became repetitive.
The manager changed.
Our responsibilities grew.
Our bodies changed.
Our families needed more from us.
The career we worked hard to build stopped fitting as well as it once did.

And somehow, we decided that meant there was something wrong with us.

There are fulfilling jobs. There is work you can enjoy and care deeply about. But expecting one job to provide your income, identity, purpose, security, community, and happiness creates an impossible standard.

You do not need to discover one perfect job.

You need to understand what you need from work now.

Have you ever felt like you failed because you could not find your “dream job”?

A lot of experienced people do not want the next promotion.

They want fewer people to manage.
Less politics.
Less pressure to be constantly available.
More time doing the work they were actually good at.

But when they apply for a lower-level role, they hear:
“You’re overqualified.”

The problem is rarely whether they can perform the job.

The employer is worried that they will be bored, reject the salary, resent the reporting structure, or leave as soon as a senior position becomes available.

Your résumé and interview need to show that this is an intentional move.

Do not erase your experience.

Show them which parts of it you want to keep using and why this specific role makes sense now.

Save this if you are trying to step down without disappearing.

The scariest part of changing careers at this age is not starting over.

It is not knowing whether the risk will pay off.

You have a salary, bills, people depending on you, and years invested in becoming good at what you do.

Of course you do not feel ready to blow it all up.

So do not blow it all up.

Test the idea first.
Take on 1 project.
Talk to someone already doing the work.
See if anyone will pay for the thing you keep doing for free.

You are not looking for certainty.

You are looking for enough evidence to make the next decision.

When you are completely done, every job posting starts to look like an exit.

But a sh*tty boss, work you have outgrown, and a life with no room left in it are 3 different problems.

They do not require the same next move.

For 1 week, write down the exact moment you think:
“I cannot keep doing this.”

Do not write your entire life story. Just write what happened.

The meeting ran over again.
Your boss messaged you at 9 PM.
Spent the day doing work you stopped caring about years ago.
Your child needed you, and you were stuck on another pointless call.

At the end of the week, label each moment:
C for company
W for work
L for life

You may be surprised by what keeps showing up.

Which letter do you think would fill most of your list?

Most people start looking for a new job before they have figured out what they are actually trying to change.

I have done it too.

A new company can fix a bad manager, low pay, a toxic culture, or an unreasonable workload.

It cannot fix work you no longer want to do.

And a new career cannot give you the life you want if you keep rebuilding every career around the same expectations, hours, and definition of success.

After I was laid off from Google, I wasn’t only deciding what job to apply for next.

I had to decide whether I still wanted to recruit, whether I wanted to build something different, and how much control I was willing to give another employer over my life.

Those questions required completely different answers.

Before you update your résumé, ask yourself what you are actually trying to leave.

The company?
The work?
Or the way your entire life has been built around it?

Which one are you questioning right now?



Are you questioning your life & rethinking your career right now ?