Diana Deaver

Diana Deaver is an emotional health coach practicing online and in person in Hendersonville, NC Diana Deaver is a life coach, speaker and visual artist.

Her coaching process focuses on deep personal exploration, understanding and self compassion. Diana studied psycho-sociology at Universitatea Virgil Madgearu in Romania, and began her apprenticeship as an emotional health coach in Charleston, SC in 2008. Additionally, Diana's formative years offer a unique exposure to life outside of the school setting that has served as an extraordinary foundatio


“If you could wave a magic wand what would you make happen in your life?”
I remember someone asking me this question. I remember imagining having such a powerful instrument that could fulfill my wishes. Recently, in a morning meditation, I heard this statement, loud and clear.

"You are the magic wand. There is no need to get anything else."

You are the instrument that has the ability to create a magical life. What would you like to create? In whose hands would you place yourself? Who would you let create through you? As metaphoric magic wands, it is our responsibility to be very mindful about who is employing our resources. Which part of us is spending our power? Is it our ego or our divinity? There are stages of life when ego is learning its personal power and it needs to play with the magic wand, to test its abilities, and to learn its limitations. But as we progress in age, in life, and in experience, we begin to dedicate all of our creativity and our effectiveness to a higher purpose, a divine appointment, a meaningful pursuit.


Photos from Diana Deaver's post 07/06/2023

I spent some time with fog this morning. Fog told me that it’s okay to be tender, soft and less than evident. It told me that watery things tend to embrace you. That when you let yourself be permeated by what feeds your soul, you become more nurturing yourself. When opacity and light dance together you can understand both of them deeper. What is obscured will be eventually revealed. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. You already have everything you could possibly need.


Have you ever had the realization that the thing that charms you (or annoys you) in another, you also do it? I celebrate when I have a moment like this. Jung calls this projection recall. Meaning, what I previously unconsciously projected onto you I know take back and integrate back into my own psyche. How liberating it can be to know who you are.


In the beginning most humans are centered on the personal self, sometimes worrying about what others think, about how lovable we are, are we getting what is fair? As we develop our personal power and our psychological independence we begin to reverse the process of accumulation. We feel called to share the richness of the life we have built with others. And we do so without the fear of being diminished or being without. More than “am I getting what’s mine?” our focus shifts to “how can I share what has been gifted to me?”. Both seasons of life are meaningful and beautiful. Today I feel grateful for all those who have shared themselves with me and all those who allow themselves to receive through me.


I remember when my teacher first told me this. I was so skeptical. I took a risk and did what seemed inconvenient for others but true for me. When it turned out to work out better for those involved too I was in shock. I was so excited. Could it be true?! Even if it’s not immediately evident, it is true. When we honor ourselves instead of sacrificing ourselves, everyone benefits because our authenticity is always more impactful than our martyrdom. No one benefits from us abandoning ourselves. And the more we honor ourselves the easier it gets. Let us have true courage to practice it until it becomes second nature.


Stay present with yourself, especially when you are in pain. Learning to self soothe without lashing out with be one of the most important lessons of your life.


We often get in trouble when we go to others before we go to our divine connection. So many of us will try everything before going directly to our higher source. We’ll pull tarot cards, ask our partner, read our horoscope, talk to a friend, go to a psychic, ask an “expert”. Sometimes we spend years looking for an answer in all places except our own deep hearts. We get disappointed with others, disheartened by the struggle, resentful that others are not enough to fulfill us.

Please seek within also. BE STILL AND KNOW. This instruction is as old as time and yet, we often avoid it at all costs. Could it be that our truest answer can come faster and with more ease when we are willing to sit in silence. Can we open ourselves to receive it from the guiding force that moves us in our lives? If only we would look within with the same frequency, consistency and determination with which we look outside.


Message to the part of me that thinks that my value lies in my doing/achieving: You have permission to just be. It is safe to slow down. To take a day off. To take 5 days off. To sit on a bench in a park without looking at the phone. To be non effective. To be present. To walk slowly in nature. To take a deep breath. To feel your heart. To feel your body. To feel. To listen. To hear. To have nothing to do. To let life do you. To let rest do you good. To have nothing to say. To have nothing. To be nothing. To be. It is safe to just be. It is enough to just be. It is beautiful to just be. It is meaningful to just be.


In our current culture there is a psychological complex that is pervasive and extremely costly: the superhero complex: Superman/Superwoman. People who carry this complex unconsciously thrive on hyper functioning. They feel valuable when they put out fires, anticipate needs, acquire accomplishments and succeed at difficult tasks. While this is a necessary stage in any person’s development, the cost of this complex unconsciously running our lives indefinitely is very high. It creates a continuous interior restlessness. If we are not striving to achieve something, we are thinking about what goal needs to be pursued next. Satisfaction is always out there, not quite in our grasp. “When I get this, then I’ll be happy.” But that’s a false promise because “when I get this, I’ll want something else”. People who are accustomed to being seen as superheroes and miracle workers don’t know how to rest. And yet they crave it deeply. Enjoying what they have, celebrating life as it is, taking days off, all these seem extremely dangerous, threatening the overachieving status quo. In reality doing, succeeding, acquiring “the next best thing” often ends up being a repetitive loop, which obscures an underlying deep sense of emptiness, a life so exteriorly bound that there is little or no inner substance (spiritual and emotional bankruptcy)
There comes a time when we awaken to this trick and we begin to reassess what is truly meaningful to us. Quality time with our loved ones, getting to know ourselves more intimately and intentionally, tending to parts of ourselves that were seldom seen or loved, allowing ourselves to feel more deeply and openly, doing things that bring us joy vs fulfilling a necessity, all these begin to bring a deeper peace and purpose to our lives. This is the journey of dismantling and integrating the superhero. Instead of a rescuer, we find sufficiency in being human. Being grand is replaced with being whole.


The first day of spring corresponds to the fool archetype. The fool represents an old and meaningful pattern in human manifestation. The fool is the breaker of patterns, bringer of change and of wisdom through experience. It speaks the truth sometimes in cleaver, crafty, funny ways, sometimes in shocking ways. It reveals the shadow. It brings to light what is unconscious, sometimes by pushing the exact buttons we so often cover with a mask. The fool is never interested in comfort and its presence can often be unsettling. When the fool shows up in our lives we may experience it as the rug being swept from under us or everything going upside down. Resisting the fool brings suffering. Dancing with the fool gives us the recklessness and levity needed to move in a completely new and unfamiliar direction. Even when challenges and “failures” come from new adventures, the fool helps us get up and keep going, transmuting failures into worldliness. What has come apart is put together in a new fashion. The fool enables us to replace fear with wonder. One of the Greek gods that corresponds to the fool is Dionysus. There is so much more that can be said about this pattern. Making it conscious in ourselves if the main goal of recognizing it.

I’m super grateful to my dad for gifting me this wooden mask he hand made that carries so much meaning for me. To me it represents an invitation to remain curious about my own shadow. It reminds me it is important to maintain some levity no matter how many scars we carry, that we can smile despite our wounds. It asks me to remember to look beyond the social mask we carry and be curious about what is our true inner experience. It reflects the truth that sometimes the human experience means we often carry both sadness and joy simultaneously.


Deep listening is one of the most powerful relational skills we can foster. The ability to hear a person and help them feel heard is incredibly healing. When we know another has seen our pain without being burdened or in some way diminished by it and without judging us for it, we are freed of it. We cannot listen to another if we are not willing to listen to ourselves. When we practice any relational skill we benefit two fold. When we are compassionate with another we become more compassionate with ourselves. When we are heard we are given permission to hear ourselves. This is why relationships exist. To learn together in a two way mirror.


I celebrate the beauty, grace, rage, nurture and mystery of the feminine. My heart is grateful for all I have received through all women in my life.


Happy Moon Day. As a way to balance out our masculine valuing culture I have been working on recognizing and appreciating feminine aspects in my life. One example is my approach to the first day of the work week. Not many people know that weekdays are named by planets in our solar system. Mondays are named by the moon- a symbol for the feminine. I used to have very intense, frantic, goal oriented Mondays- when achievement and effectiveness were my most treasured values, just like our society teaches. Recently, I’ve mindfully and intentionally slowed down Mondays. I have been experimenting with a gentle and nurturing start to my week as opposed to an intense one. My body, my nervous system and my smile have been very receptive to this subtle change. There’s a different quality to the day and the week when I allow the Moon to govern my Moon Days. Flowing through Mondays as opposed to pushing through feels very very different. It is teaching me that I can be soft and tend to my life at the same time. There is ease and enjoyment.


Let’s talk about dreams. Because nothing can be transformed in the unconscious, our dreams often show us what it is in our psyche that requires our conscious attention and work. It is very much like the visitation of a wild animal that approaches us, stares for a while as if communicating something through their glance and then walking away. The content is at times surprising, at times touching, dangerous, or even awe-inspiring. It is our job to learn to approach it with respect, curiosity, caution, and gentleness. Can you be with the guests that come from your unconscious?


When a person skilled in defense chooses peace, they are no longer dominated by the archetype. Their relationship with the warrior has discernment now. It is no longer raw and instinctual. A higher purpose is served. Ego purposefully steps back in service to Spirit. This is the case for the integration of any archetype. There is awareness towards the tendency to react according to the pattern and yet we are no longer overtaken by it. A deliberate and meaningful choice is made. This is the meaning of true spiritual freedom. This is individuation.

Photos from Diana Deaver's post 01/28/2023

Affirming our conscious choices, our connection to source or our capability to dwell in peacefulness, despite whatever fears, stress or pain may arise is a powerful way to employ our free will.


When we create structure and consistency in our wellbeing routines we are learning that we can depend on ourselves. This is vital for someone recovering from codependency and moving into healthy independence. We start to understand that we can trust ourselves. Self esteem is positively impacted.


We don’t have to be incessantly working on our personal development to develop. Even when we’re not consciously trying to change, life is always working on us. Circumstances, people we meet, difficulties are divinely orchestrated to support the growth in our consciousness. And there are days when we are organically gifted deeper consciousness, life ripe fruit that falls freely. We become more willing to stand up for ourselves, we are more committed to seeing and honoring our value, we are softened enough to live in a place of love. Sure, it is lovely when feel called to support our consciousness. But on the days we feel tired, stuck or unable to do the work, it is enough to let go. Let go of effort, let go of trying. We will be carried through. We are always carried by a loving and generous Universe.


Imagine for a moment that everything that has happened for you holds a deep and meaningful purpose; that every event, every difficulty, every happiness was intentionally selected for you. Imagine that all that is hard to carry, to accept, to release, all of it is serving you more than you could possibly understand right now. Imagine that everything always works out for you, even if it doesn’t always happen immediately. Imagine that your life is a gigantic blessing, unfolding in stages, over time. Maybe some of it wont fully make sense until you take your last breath, and when it does, you will be ecstatically humbled and awed by the intricacy, the beauty and the grace that you experienced without even knowing. Today, May you experience the smallest glimpse of the perfection, the love and the grace that permeates your life, and all life.


Darkness holds truths that the light could never impart. I am grateful I can talk to both.


Solstice Blessing.

May you recognize in your life, the presence, power and light of your soul.
May you realize that you are never alone,
That your soul in its brightness and belonging
connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe.
May you have respect for your own individuality and difference.
May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique,
that you have a special destiny here,
That behind the facade of your life
there is something beautiful, good, and eternal happening.
May you learn to see yourself with the same delight, pride,
and expectation with which God sees you in every moment. (Written by poet John O’Donohue)


What you want, you already have. This is a fundamental truth. If you sit with this statement you will see it is true. Just because you have something however does not mean that you are able to receive it. What you want, you have not learned how to receive yet, so you sit with it all around you, wanting to have it and unable yet to allow it fully. Be patient. Your want is proof you’re already on the way to receiving.


One of my favorite things about December is the year end review. I love to reflect over what I have learned each month, to remember which books I read, where I traveled, when I was most vividly present and which moments humbled me most. I take pleasure in counting the blessings of life. It’s like gathering fruit in a basket. I gather and reap the rewards of my practice and effort. I offer gratitude for the support, collaborations and wisdom granted.


For flowy souls, sturdiness is a welcome reprieve. We live a lot in our heads nowadays. Landing down onto the solid earth after floating away in the airiness of mind and dissociation, stepping onto the firmness of land after being carried by the waters of emotion, this is not only pleasurable, but deeply healing. Aliveness in the body requires us to stay connected with our senses, to know our own bodies intimately. Can you feel your feet holding you, can you feel your muscles moving you, can you feel your lungs breathing for you? This is the gift of the element of EARTH. In psychotherapeutic alchemy, earth coagulates, it firms up, it establishes. What is too loose, to airy, too intangible is made solid. Any time we are building a new healthy habit, a new nurturing belief, a new way of seeing ourselves with love we need EARTH in order to ground these in our psyche. As always balance is needed. Too much earth and then we feel weighed down. We become too rigid. Depression settles in. Where do you stand with Earth? Are you carrying your mountains or are you enjoying them?


May your tummy be full of your favorite food. Your heart full of love for yourself and others. You mind full of grateful thoughts. Be the great-full one. Happy Thanksgiving!


Gentleness. Nurturing softness. Joyful peace. Wonder and gratitude. I wish this upon you and your loved ones today and always. May you always find it within. As within so without.


Happy Moon-day! Mondays are affirmation days for me. They help me start the week in a mindful and intentional way. I have been doing quite a bit of research lately about the connection of the physical ailments and emotional health. In this process I have come across the importance of releasing grievances and replacing them with forgiving and loving thoughts. I’m offering today an affirmation of forgiveness: “I forgive you for not being the way I wanted it to be. I forgive you and I set you free” (from “You can heal your life” by Louise Hay, p.8)
I love this affirmation because I can be applied to anything. It can be applied to the self, all versions of ourselves, the past, the body: I forgive myself for not being the way I wanted to be. I can be applies also to any other person that we had expectations of: spouse, friends, parents, children, teachers. Walking around without grievances to others is truly a gift to myself. This affirmation can also be applied to inanimate things: places, weather, life. “I forgive traffic for being busy. I forgive today for being rainy.” This forgiveness is crucial to restoring a sense of peace and safety within. It makes the world a friendly place again. When we release grievances we are embracing and affirming our capacity to let go, to choose love, to be bigger than our disappointments, to accept what is as is. When I set you free, I set myself free. I hope this affirmation blesses you and sets you up for a beautiful experience.


There are many mysteries in life we can’t explain. Synchronicities, vivid dreams, unexplainable sensations, visions and sightings can alter the course of our lives in a moment. Some of these phenomena can sometimes be grasped differently 20 years later. Others we wonder about forever. Most of them awaken us to the awareness that life is not always linear. That life is multidimensional. That there are many energies assisting and influencing us even when we think we are making a choice completely alone. The more we employ this awareness consciously, the more attuned we become to the multiplicity of ourselves and our lives. Jung called this curiosity about the patterns the symbolic attitude. We start to recognize around us things that point to much more than they are. We start to notice the multiverse in a piece of wood. The nature of fear in an owl’s hoot. The purpose of our lives in our morning prayers. If you crave wonder, stay curious, and it will jump out at you in the middle of your rush hour commute.

Photos from Diana Deaver's post 11/13/2022

May you feel safe enough in the world today to allow unbridled joy in yourself and others.

Photos from Diana Deaver's post 11/10/2022

In our new age lingo, I see the concept of holding boundaries being used as a passive aggressive way to react to a situation. A healthy boundary is when we express to others what is okay and what is not okay for us. Retaliation or protest behavior is when we want the other person to suffer in some way or feel discomfort as a result of their choice. Retaliation boundary is not a healthy boundary- it’s gaslighting. It creates a divide in relationships and a fear of being punished in a covert way. Covert punishment weakens trust and activates the sympathetic nervous system. If you’re in a relationship and someone has wronged you and you feel the need to punish them, it is much healthier to express that, than to claim “you’re taking time to yourself” or “expressing a boundary”. Using the facade of a boundary to punish creates guilt and damages relationships. Check in with yourself when you notice this tendency and be honest about what’s coming up for you.

Photos from Diana Deaver's post 11/03/2022

Fall is a transition season. It’s what takes us from the bright summer days to the overcast sleepy winter. Have you noticed how beautiful transitions are in nature? Sunset, sunrises, spring, fall? If I was a tree this would be my time to let everything go. First, I would change completely. From the vibrant green of summer my colors would turn to something completely different. And then, one by one, I would let go of every single one. Gravity and the wind would help me. The earth would receive my gift gladly. I would be becoming empty. Leafless. And I would be completely calm about it. At peace. Knowing that spring will bring newness. I would know this because I would have lost everything many times over. I pray we find the same surrender and trust in our transitions as I imagine trees experience.

Photos from Diana Deaver's post 11/03/2022

We can’t be alive without hurting sometimes. The reason many of us suffer for many years is because we resist our pain. When accepted and tended to emotional pain brings tremendous gifts into our lives. When we hurt we become more aware. Our awareness helps us seek healing. Our healing bring us growth. Do not numb your pain. See if you can be curious about what it is here to teach you. And if this is not your pain, but the hurt of someone near you, it is okay to surrender it to Source. You no longer have to carry it.

Photos from Diana Deaver's post 10/28/2022

We all suffer at some point. Trauma is a big topic for those in the healing arts. Recognizing trauma and it’s effects is important. What I see in the mainstream that appears out of balance to me is the exclusive focus on the regressive aspects of traumatic stress. Identifying as a trauma survivor is just one of the stages of recovery. There are other steps that follow. These steps include taking responsibility for the remains of our brokenness. Tending with care and diligence to the lingering effects of the hurtful experience, retracting our projections and reintegrating them. One of the final steps is also the willingness to recognize that while the suffering we endured seemed to cause us to regress in many ways emotionally and spiritually it also contributed to our growth, our development and our expansion.

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What is Emotional Health Life Coaching?

Diana Deaver is a life coach, speaker and visual artist. Her coaching process focuses on deep personal exploration, understanding and compassion towards the self. In addition to private coaching sessions, Diana Deaver facilitates in person group emotional health work , speaks publicly on emotional health topics and hosts emotional healing workshops yearly.

Life Coaching FAQ:

What is life coaching?

Life coaching is a process in which a life coach and a client collaborate together to facilitate the client's personal transformation towards a healthy, peaceful and wholesome self. Part of this process is getting to examine and understand known and unknown psychological aspects of the client's self. In time, the client integrates all parts of themselves (the challenging and the pleasant ones) into a developed, functional and harmonious way of being. To integrate means to bring together and make whole.

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