Pendulum Center

The following clip exposes why so many kids with autism stay aggressive in modern ABA. The problem isn’t the therapist. It’s a system that teaches therapists to continue planned trials after a major behavior instead of treating that moment as the lesson. Real life creates the best teaching opportunities, but only if you’re willing to stop the program and teach what’s happening.

A lot of parents aren’t teaching their kids empathy, and much of it has to be taught. My young client with level 3 autism made two honest mistakes at a community pool. I corrected him immediately. What hurt was watching another parent miss two opportunities to teach his own child compassion. Our kids learn how to treat people by watching us. Make those moments count.

My eight-year-old client with autism decided to streak at the community pool. Most people saw inappropriate behavior. I saw a little boy using simple logic: “I’m cold. My swimsuit is wet. Dry clothes will warm me up.” The missing piece wasn’t logic. It was another social rule that still needed to be learned. Understanding why a behavior happens doesn’t mean we stop correcting it. It means we teach with empathy.

Schools and parents should be on the same team, but they’re not. They’re bitter rivals. Parents & schools used to agree on the basics. When they did, consequences carried weight. Today, teachers, parents, and administrators are often pulling in different directions, and kids notice. The question isn’t whether children benefit from that divide. The question is why so many adults pretend they don’t.

Parents of kids with autism: The following clip illustrates how not to treat teachers and school staff when your kid gets in trouble. A diagnosis should never eliminate accountability. Teachers have a right to safety. Schools need to stop allowing autism to be used as a permanent excuse for aggressive behavior.

Do kids with autism understand more than experts think? History is full of examples of people mistaking a lack of communication for a lack of understanding. Some of the children who surprised me most were the ones people assumed understood the least.

STOP DOWNPLAYING VIOLENT BEHAVIOR FROM KIDS WITH AUTISM.

Autism doesn’t stop children from growing up.

That’s the conversation nobody wants to have.

There’s no such thing as the terrible twos. By two, many toddlers have simply been learning from the reactions adults give them for years. Babies may not understand everything, but they absolutely learn cause and effect. If hitting, throwing, and screaming consistently get attention or results, they’re learning something. The question isn’t what happened at two. The question is what they’ve been learning all along.

At what point does an accommodation stop helping a child with autism or special needs function in the real world and start teaching them the world should function around them?

That’s the question I think school administrators, psychologists, and BCBAs should be asking before adding another accommodation to an IEP.

What do you think?