www.itoiaustin.com/about Welcome to i to i Counseling. I am Chris Quaglino, LCSW, LCDC and I understand counseling is a person to person (i to i) experience.
I am a qualified psychotherapist located in Austin, Texas who specializes in change. Honestly, change will take some effort. However, if you are ready and open to doing and/or experiencing some things in your life differently let’s get you started. I look forward to hearing from you. Contact me to see if we are a good therapeutic match.
Operating as usual
Young people want to know you care even if they don't show they care most of the time. I’m Mr. Q. and I've worked with hundreds of adolescents. I can attest that young people will typically keep things to themselves when things are not going well. Even when asked directly they say they are doing good or fine. If you are a parent or a friend to a teen or adolescent, please follow your intuition. If it seems like something is not right or not going well, keep asking. Let them know you care and are concerned.
Stating what you see can help them understand they are noticed. Point out if they are quieter, less involved, having sudden anger outbursts, tearful and so on. Say this in a concerned way, not a judgmental way. “I noticed you were tearful.” in a slow and focused voice is received much more openly than, “Why were you crying?”. Even though they don't feel like talking, let them know you notice them, are always there to listen, want to help, and are concerned.
The balance between annoying and caring is tricky. It helps to build the communication bridge between you and your teen/adolescent before there are signs of trouble. Let them know you notice the good things often and always. “Hey, I heard from the school you are doing well!”. If you get an eye-roll, you know they heard you and it counts. Be genuine. Everyone likes to hear when they are doing well even if they react modestly. The key is to give as many positives as you can so when something goes badly they are used to hearing from you. Still have questions or concerns? Let's talk.
I have just read a book entitled 'Your Defiant Teen'* and wanted to share it with you. It was recommended to me by a parent who said it was helpful. This book lays out a program to assist with changing parent behavior. I know many parents have tried so many things and are just tired and frustrated and now I just said for parents to change their behavior. However, this book is very gentle in how and what needs to change and offers the possibility of significantly positive results. Your changes will assist with redirecting and changing your teen's reaction to you and subsequently, their behavior improves. This is not a quick fix program and has clearly defined steps to implement over several months. A therapist's help is recommended depending on the severity of the situation, however, the book makes clear the criteria for if and when outside intervention may be needed. Also, these same authors offer another book, 'Your Defiant Child', that I have not read... yet. It is important to redirect defiant behavior as early as possible and these books should offer some help and guidance. For therapists and clinicians, there is a companion volume to The Defiant Teen which includes program forms and assessment tools.
I should note, I was not paid to endorse or promote this book. It just seems to offer a reasonable plan and may help yours or other families.
*Your Defiant Teen, Second Edition: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship by Russell A. Barkley (Author), Arthur L. Robin (Author), Christine M. Benton (Contributor).
[02/15/18] I LOVE YOU. WILL YOU BE MINE? I grew up reading these on little heart candies on Valentine's Day. A day that comes only once a year. I propose we say these little candy phrases to each other every day. Everyday! Not just anniversaries or special occasions either. Especially to your child, teen or adolescent. Even if you suspect they may look at you like you just flew in from Mars. Do it. I LOVE YOU matters. Always. They may even say I LOVE YOU TOO! (if you already do this, carry on and share this message with others. Very nice.).
|Monday||12:00 - 20:00|
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|Saturday||08:00 - 12:00|
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