Texas Humor

🚙🚗🚓🚕🏎️

“I promise I’m not gonna buy anything. I’ve just been holding it for 743 miles like the Beaver told me to.”

When it rains it pours, but according to it’s been a drought. 😬

“We are NOT from Houston…we live in the Woodlands.”

bring it back

Sorry I’ve got plans. If you need me I’ll be nostalgic in my buddy’s garage under his miller lite sign and next to his w**d eater and truck that hasn’t started since W was president.

I’m a human napkin for all the salsa in the world

Gn

Matching white shirts, jeans, and brown belts. Y’all know the drill. Mom needs a new photo for the Christmas card. Stop fighting with your sibling and get it over with.

Life comes at ya fast

gn

Ask your doctor if a couple’a beers and George Strait are right for you