SLAM PORTAL

THE PROFESSOR earned his TENURE after defeating MOP GUY in an INCREDIBLE competition. However, MERCH LADY and MOP GUY proved how powerful the SERVICE INDUSTRY is when they stand up to PRIVATELY FUNDED RESEARCH GRANTS!

STAY TUNED for future ANNOUNCEMENTS and EVENTS!

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The Pageant Queen (and apparent domestic glitter terrorist) made her infamous SLAM PORTAL debut known far and wide after defeating in a bitter battle of cups and roses. With the assistance of some kind of blinding agent and tights leverage, Drea managed to somehow survive Cage’s double underhook suplex and thunderous crossbody.

Oh, and we almost forgot the worst part: “You’re Welcome!”

STAY TUNED for future ANNOUNCEMENTS and 2026 EVENTS!

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A number of bad faith entities attempt to BASTARDIZE what SLAM PORTAL truly is, but we remain resolute in entering our PRETTY ERA!

At SLAMINATOR, competitors BEXAR COUNTY BASTARD and PRINCE PRETTY were neck and neck until the BASTARD attempted to shut the match down with the assistance of a STEEL CHAIR. FORTUNATELY, show host and real boy PUGGIN HEAD was able to halt this and help PRETTY claim victory.

UNFORTUNATELY, PUGGIN HEAD paid for his good deed with a chair shot at SLAM PORTAL MOVIE NIGHT shortly thereafter. We now have word that PUGGY is in stable condition!

After a hard fought opener against VIVA LA RASTA at the inaugural SLAMINATOR event .machine.works , THE INDUSTRY once again claimed the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER-SHIP for the SLAM PORTAL TAG CHAMPIONSHIPS. What will future the hold for ARBITERS of HOLLYWOOD PAIN? STAY TUNED for future ANNOUNCEMENTS and 2026 EVENTS!

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PRESENTS MOVIE NIGHT smashed the box office .atx !!!

Takeaways:
- has completely disappeared after a tough loss to
- was seriously injured after a vicious attack by
- won his namesake event but seems to have lost the war after slammed him through a coffee table of (checks notes) VHS TAPES!
- obtained a new sexophone

Free 1 Hour Wrestling Show followed by movie screening!

Join us at Double Trouble with We Luv Video!

JUST ADDED: 🧼 MOP GUY

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