CandaceDoby

One of the things I appreciated most about Ben Shelton during his U.S. Open run was the way he communicated.

After defeating Frances Tiafoe in the semis, Shelton acknowledged what Tiafoe has meant to the sport and what it means for young Black kids to see people who look like them succeeding at the highest levels of tennis.

And, Shelton said it plainly, particularly at a time when conversations about representation aren't the easiest or most celebrated conversations to have. That's what courageous communication asks of us, though.

Courage is the choice to take a risk for a worthy purpose.

And, many times that worthy purpose is honoring yourself. It's respecting yourself and standing on your values even when you know everyone listening may not share them.

I saw that same honesty from Shelton when he admitted how difficult it was to stay focused during his semifinal match after seeing some of the famous people in attendance, including Jalen Brunson, one of his favorite athletes.

It made me smile because he had just won the biggest tennis match of his career. And, while he could have flexed and given us performative confidence, he admitted he was starstruck.

Courageous communication is about having enough self-trust to communicate without constantly editing yourself into the version you think other people will find most palatable.

Shelton can acknowledge the significance of being a Black man in tennis. He can give another Black player his flowers. He can admit that seeing one of his favorite athletes in the stands affected him. He can tell the truth about his experience.

There is something beautiful about being willing to let people experience who you really are when you speak.

Thank you, Ben, for the reminder.

“I’m rooting for women to honor themselves by owning their words—and practicing how to use them.

One approach I share with women is to think of courageous communication like a muscle. It gets stronger with training.

Collecting expertise without developing the ability to communicate it courageously is like going to the gym simply to show off your workout clothes rather than strengthen your core. The potential is there, but you’re not building the capacity you need.”

My latest article is up on MS NOW. Know Your Value

Registration is open for the last Risk Fitness Club cohort of the year. Link in bio.

The very people who want to contribute the most are often the least likely to ask others to contribute alongside them. I’ve caught myself doing exactly that.

But now’s, I’m asking for help …

Pro Tip: Build your courage muscle before you need it.

What do writing a book and acting courageously have in common? Besides the fact that writing a book *is* acting courageously?

Writing requires you to confront the frustration that surfaces when the thoughts in your head don’t make it to the page intact. It forces you to examine whether what you thought before is what you think now and, if it isn’t, what the heck to do with the dissonance. Ultimately, writing pushes you to evolve, which is one of the worthiest applications of courage.

But here’s the thing I’m learning most about writing my next book, Nothing To Prove, Everything To Say, and taking courageous action:

Consistency beats intensity.

I could sit at my computer for five hours a day, once every few weeks to get words on the page, or I could book a 17-hour trip to South Africa and write for the entire flight. But, I can imagine the anxiety those situations would produce and the disappointment I’d feel if I didn’t meet my goal. (My heart rate jumped from writing that sentence.)

There’s another, and arguably better, option: consistency.

I write for one hour a day. On some days, I’m searching for words, and on other days, I’m swimming in them.

Consistency allows me to experiment, discover, and learn. It allows me to embody the work because I come back to it day after day.

The same goes for speaking up at work.

If you only think about acting courageously in big, intense moments — like asking for a major promotion or presenting a make-or-break client campaign — you put a lot of pressure on those moments and force yourself to focus on outcome rather than process.

If things don’t go your way, it becomes harder to recover because you haven’t established a rhythm of learning and getting back in the saddle tomorrow.

Consistency beats intensity.

Every time.

Courage, like writing, is a skill. And, that skill grows when you approach and use it consistently.

The waitlist for Cohort 3 of the Risk Fitness Club is open. Link in bio.

Out of all the professional development goals on your list, there’s one that deserves to be at the top:

Becoming a courageous communicator.

Research estimates that professionals spend 50–80% of the workday communicating. For senior leaders, that number climbs even higher. There are emails and meetings and presentations and calls and hallway conversations.

Most of what we do at work is communication.

And, inside those interactions, leaders are constantly being asked to coach teams, direct work, align priorities, set boundaries, challenge ideas, socialize a vision, and navigate tension in real time.

When we think about leadership, we often focus on strategy, decision-making, and vision. And, those things matter. But, none of them live in isolation. They come to life through language.

Leadership is communication delivered strategically and unapologetically to build trust and momentum.

Which means becoming a better leader requires becoming a better communicator.

That’s why I’m excited for the newest members of the Risk Fitness Club who decided to take ownership of their growth by committing to the work of becoming courageous communicators.

The Risk Fitness Club is a gym for your courage muscle. It’s an expert-led, curated community where ambitious professionals build the capacity to speak up at work so they become more confident, trusted leaders.

If your professional growth feels uncertain or stalled and you’re not sure what your next move should be, focus on two things: courage and communication.

Inside those two things is almost everything leadership requires.