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Nakumatt Oasis's cover photo
[11/23/17] Nakumatt closed,we are rebranding. ....sorry for the inconvenience.
[10/21/17] Suggest Names for this page,coz nakumatt died
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# GOLD DIGGERS
# BORING IN BED
NB: I've not included a moslem name coz the list would be making 600!
-all mentioned above have one thing in common....,bavuma nyo.
AFRICAN YOUTH EMPLOYMENT
BUREAU(AYEB) a ugandan
sourcing job company is looking
for 1500 people who can do the
- Corporate Bar waiters and
- Domestic Service Manager.
- U should know how to speak
Forms for registration are
18th to 30th July at Moon Studio,
Forms are for FREE
For more information call or
We register those that are still
working for competitive services
NOTE: They opportunities are in
Uganda not abroad and u don't
have to pay money to get a job.
[07/19/14] KENYA'S MOST BEAUTIFUL LADIES IN THEIR ORDER OF BEAUTI REACTIVITY. 1. TAITA- Great face, great ass, great legs, good manners, poor cooks, no brains. 2. MAASAI- Great figure, wonderful face, enough ass, enough boobs, great home managers, no clit, no nyege, no brains. 3. KIKUYU- great face, great business minds, good brains, no ass,very poor teeth, i repeat very very poor teeth, no manners,very very poor cooks. 4. KAMBA- great face, enough nyege, bad body. PERIOD. 5: LUHYA- great legs, great ass, good cooks, great teeth, good manners, average boobs, average nyege, rough skin, no face, no face noooooo face. 6. LUOpean- great legs, marvelous ass, great brains, great sexy voice, great boobs, no face, no face no face, i repeat no no face. No face no no no no face. 7. SOMALI: great face and figure but dirty NKT. 8. KALENJIN- 50/50 face, very white teeth, no boobs, no ass, NO HAIR, no legs, no figure, poor kisser, very very poor romance, sometimes no clit, no brains, bad voice, but good ''wife materials'' and mothers. 9. KISII- Extralarge ass, extranecessary boobs, extrapitched voice, poor mouth breath, no face, no hair, no manners, great cooks and NO CLIT. ......
If airtime was charged according to how loud the caller is,
Bakiga would be dead broke.
Bakiga are the most romantic people. They don’t waste time wooing and raising false expectations.
They will tell you straight in the
face, from the word go, that they love you. If you don’t love
them then leave. If you expect a Mukiga to plead with you for a second chance, like Salvador, just know that’s a dream.
Most Bakiga are disease resistant.
You will hardly hear that there was a disease outbreak in Kigezi.
The kids get one injection their entire lifetime – immunization. This is entirely because of a balanced diet. A kid wakes up to fresh potatoes
with a mug of bushera . Three sips and the cup is done. There is no such word like “lack of appetite” in Kigezi.
We are the hardest working
people. That’s why every strong man is referred to as Kyakabale even if he’s a Musoga. Our ladies are very hard
working too which other tribes misinterpret as being aggressive. They reason logically. Why buy a bouquet of flowers when that money can
equally buy a sack of Irish potatoes?
We are independent minded. You can’t expect a mukiga to be at your beck and call. That’s why most of the ‘rebel’ MPs are Bakiga. We live a
free life. No wonder there is
nothing like Kigezi kingdom. The king would suffer because every Mukiga is a king in their own right.
I salute all Bakiga because the last population census revealed that Bakiga were multiplying at
a fast rate. They are doing this in fulfillment of the scriptures - go multiply and fill the world. We
have the best family planning method. You can’t get pregnant when you are
pregnant!....... Am proud mukiga
A work prayer
Lord,I offer you my work I give you the disappointment I feel I surrender my disillusionment I confess my weakness Reconnect me with You I want to live again To be fully alive Stir in me a new song that I may sing for joy Envision my mind Equip my hands Anoint my feet Empower my voice For your service and your work This day and everyday Amen.
True or false
2% Studies 10% Strikes 38% Sex 50% Alcohol/Partying
CRACK A RIB
Age Potion A couple received a letter from their daughter who went to study modern physics overseas, the letter read: "My beloved Parents, I miss you so much and it breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back you'll be too old. So enclosed you'll find a bottle of potion I have invented. It will make you young, so when I return you'll be the same age as I left you. NOTE: Please take only a drop" So they opened the envelope and in it there is a bottle with a red potion. the man looked at the wife and said: "You go first." (typical of men!) So the wife takes a drop thereafter, the husband follows. Indeed the wife turned five years younger. Years later the daughter returns home to find her mother young and pretty, carrying a baby on her back. The mother proceeds to tell her daughter how the potion worked and made her look young. The daughter was delighted and asks after her dad. MOTHER: Your father? Hmm, my child, your father was so jealous that I was so young and beautiful so he drank the whole bottle. DAUGHTER: What? So where is he? MOTHER: Hahaha, who do you think is the baby on my back?
[06/20/14] TO PROVE HIS LOVE FOR HER, HE SWAM THE DEEPEST RIVER, CROSSED THE HOTTEST DESERT & CLIMBED THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN. GUESS WHAT??????? SHE DIVORCED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS NEVER AT HOME.
ANOTHER 8 FACTS U SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS:
1) They love loosing weight but they also love to EAT.
2) They want u to buy them sanitary pads
while they never buy u protections.
3) They pretend they don't want sex, Yes! But the truth is, every adult human being, male or female, wants sex unless they have
a medical or psychological problem.
4) They say the don't love u
but they can't get u out of their mind.
5) In the middle of the month when u want them to pay u a visit, they refuse but when the month is about elapse,
they are the ones who remind u that u are supposed to go for ur salary.
6) They always tell u to recharge their phones with airtime and you wonder who the hell they want to talk to!
7) They cry when u wrong them but they laugh when they wrong u.
8) If she tells u that u are ugly, she takes it as a joke
but if u tell her she is ugly, she won't forgive u for the rest of her life.
PLEASE IS THIS TRUE Or FALSE ........???
[05/22/14] Have you finished your back to school,shopping.
Ugandans are the only people who bend all the
rules, as long as they don’t break them. It’s the
only country where you can pee by the roadside
during broad day light and no one will point a
finger at you, despite the strong warning “TOFUKA
WANO, FINE: Shs. 10,000”. A bold man once stood
at such a place with a Shs 10,000 note and held it
up high, but nobody dared to ask for it. But
then,Ugandans fear witchcraft. Having failed to
stop people from peeing on his wall
fence,someone wrote on his wall: “we collect urine
for witchcraft.” Nobody dared to pee there
[05/15/14] Love is like a war easy to start but hard to finish.
HIGH SCHOOL FACTS
In every class,there is:
1 . The thief
2 . The player who is not beautiful/handsome
3.The3 best friends
4 . The bitch
5. A nerd that never gets high marks
6.The4 clean guys
7.The3 'it' girls
8 . The one who is always absent for no reason
9.A late comer
10 . The one who always brags about hw rich she/he
11 . The quite one who has about 12 ex-es in school
12 . The cute guy who doesnt want anythng to do
13.The porn addict
14.The back seat guys with jokes
15 . The gossip squad with very low marks
16 . The pastor
17. The artist
18 . The copy machine
20 . The shy guy
21 . The clever girls who r loved by teachers
22 The clever boy and a clever girl who always
23 The one who is standing up doing something
WHICH CHARACTER WERE/ARE YOU IN HIGH
(1). Never lie to keep a relationship because when the truth comes out it will make a fool of you.
(2). Never pretend to keep a relationship because when your real character comes out it will put you to shame.
(3). Never use money to keep a relationship because when the money stops coming it will put pain in your heart.
(4). Never use pregnancy to keep a relationship because it will put you in single motherhood.
(5). Never use sex to keep a relationship because when he is tired of you He will call you cheap
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