Buzz-Aid Therapy

YOUR SELF-WORTH WILL ALWAYS INFLUENCE THE LOVE YOU CHOOSE.

One of the most powerful things I have learned about relationships is that people often do not choose partners based only on who they meet, they choose based on what they believe they deserve.

For a long time, I have always seen myself as a woman who is going somewhere.

A woman with dreams, purpose and whose life is bigger than just today; and that belief has influenced many of my choices, not just in relationships, but in every area of my life.

I remember having moments where I had to ask myself: "Does this decision align with the woman I am becoming?"

Because when you truly understand your worth, you begin to make different choices.

You become more intentional about the people you allow into your space.

You pay attention to character, values, mindset, emotional maturity, and purpose.

Not just:
"Do they like me?"

But:
"Do they respect me?"
"Do they support my growth?"
"Can we build something meaningful together?"

The truth is, when someone does not see their own value, they may accept things that do not honour them.

They may mistake attention for love.

They may tolerate disrespect because they fear losing the relationship.

They may choose familiarity over what is healthy.

But when you understand that your life has purpose, you begin to approach relationships differently.

You realize that a partner is not just someone to fill a space.

A partner is someone whose presence should complement the journey you are already committed to.

This does not mean you look for a perfect person.

Nobody is perfect.

It means you become wise enough to choose someone whose values, character, and vision can walk alongside yours.

As a Matchmaker and Marriage & Family Therapist, I have seen how self-worth affects relationship choices.

People who know their worth are not looking for someone to prove that they matter.

They are looking for someone who can build, grow, and journey with them.

Your relationship choices are often a reflection of how you see yourself.

So ask yourself:

✨ What kind of love do I believe I deserve?

✨ Am I choosing from confidence or from fear?

✨ Am I selecting a partner based on my future or simply my current emotions?

Because the quality of the relationship you build is often connected to the value you place on yourself.

Know your worth.

Honour your journey.

Choose intentionally.

Because you are not just looking for someone to love you.

You are looking for someone who can walk with the person you are becoming.

You know I love you 💜

Busola Abiodun Adeagbo
Marriage & Family Therapist | Matchmaker | Relationship Coach
..creating a better relationship for a better you.

Starting again does not mean you failed.

Sometimes, starting again means you have gained wisdom, clarity, and strength from what you have experienced.

Life will not always go according to plan. There will be moments when things fall apart, when you have to make new decisions, rebuild, and begin from a different place.

But your past does not have the power to cancel your future.

Every lesson has shaped you.
Every challenge has strengthened you.
Every setback has taught you something valuable.

The person who starts again is not the same person who started the first time.

You are returning with more understanding.
More courage.
More resilience.
More awareness.

Do not allow shame, fear, or the opinions of others to keep you trapped in a season you have outgrown.

Give yourself permission to begin again.

This Becoming Season is a reminder that new beginnings are possible and your next chapter can be even better than the last.

Start again.
Start wiser.
Start stronger.

Restart boldly. 🌱

The Becoming Season Daily Devotional

DAY 170: You Are Allowed to Receive Support

Scripture:
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9

Reflection:
For many people, independence is a necessity rather than a choice. You learned to rely on yourself because support was inconsistent, unavailable, or came with strings attached. Over time, needing help began to feel unsafe, burdensome, or shameful. Strength became synonymous with doing everything alone.

Healing redefines strength. You are learning that receiving support does not make you weak, it makes you human. God designed us for interdependence, not isolation. Support is not a failure of faith or competence; it is part of how care flows in community. Allowing others to support you does not diminish your capability; it honours your limits.

Receiving support can feel vulnerable. It asks you to trust, to be seen, and to release control. But God does not ask you to open yourself to everyone, only to what is wise and safe. Support can be practical, emotional, or spiritual. As you allow it, you create space for relief and connection. You are not meant to carry everything alone, and you don’t have to prove strength by suffering in silence.

Prayer:
God, help me receive support with humility and courage. Heal the fear that makes me isolate, and teach me to trust the help You place around me. Amen.

Affirmation:
I am allowed to receive support. I am not meant to do life alone.

Busola Abiodun Adeagbo
Author | Therapist

You cannot keep giving your best to everyone while leaving yourself with nothing.

Many people know how to show up for others. They encourage, support, sacrifice, listen, and pour into the lives of the people around them.

But somewhere along the way, they forget that they also deserve that same care.

You deserve the effort you give.
You deserve the kindness you extend.
You deserve the patience you offer others.

Showing up for yourself is not selfish. It is an act of self-respect.

It means honoring your needs.
It means protecting your peace.
It means setting healthy boundaries.
It means investing in your growth.
It means allowing yourself to receive the same love and compassion you freely give.

You cannot pour from an empty place.

This Becoming Season is a reminder that your relationship with yourself matters. The way you treat yourself influences the way you allow others to treat you.

Choose to show up for you.

Not because you don't care about others, but because you matter too.

You owe yourself the effort you give others. 🌱

The Becoming Season Daily Devotional

DAY 169: You Don’t Have to Rush to Give Back

Scripture:
“Freely you have received; freely give.” - Matthew 10:8

Reflection:
When receiving feels uncomfortable, you may develop the habit of giving back quickly, repaying kindness immediately, over-functioning, or offering more than was asked. This rushing often comes from an underlying belief that receiving creates obligation or imbalance. Giving back becomes a way to regain control and avoid vulnerability.

But grace does not require immediate repayment. When you rush to give back, you sometimes interrupt the gift before it can nourish you. God’s generosity is not transactional. He gives freely, not expecting you to settle a score. Learning to receive fully means allowing goodness to land and do its work before you respond.

Healing invites you to slow this reflex. You can accept support without overcompensating. You can enjoy kindness without proving your worth. Giving is meaningful when it flows from fullness, not from anxiety. God does not want you to exhaust yourself trying to even the scales. He wants you to be restored. You are allowed to receive without rushing to give back.

Prayer:
God, help me release the urge to rush into repayment. Teach me to receive fully and to trust that generosity does not need to be earned or balanced. Amen.

Affirmation:
I receive without rushing to give back. Grace is not a transaction.

Busola Abiodun Adeagbo
Author | Therapist

NEVER OVERESTIMATE YOUR SPOUSE’S LOYALTY

One of the biggest mistakes people make in marriage is assuming that their spouse’s love, patience, and loyalty will always remain unlimited regardless of how they are treated.

Your spouse is human.

They may love you deeply. They may be committed to you. They may have chosen you wholeheartedly. But they are still human, with emotions, limitations, and breaking points.

Only God owes us unconditional love.

Human beings love from a place of capacity, and capacity can be affected by repeated hurt, neglect, disappointment, and unresolved issues.

This does not mean you should live in fear that your spouse will leave you. It means you should never take their love for granted.

Some people believe, “My spouse loves me too much to ever walk away.”

And because of that belief, they become careless.

They stop appreciating their spouse. They stop listening. They stop putting effort into the relationship. They repeatedly hurt them because they assume forgiveness will always be available without any consequences.

But love, when constantly stretched beyond its limits without care, can become exhausted.

A spouse who has spent years asking to be heard, asking for change, and asking for consideration may eventually reach a point where they no longer have the emotional strength to keep fighting for the same things.

Marriage requires intentional care.

Do not just celebrate the fact that someone chose you. Honour the fact that they continue choosing you.

Protect their heart. Value their sacrifices. Be mindful of their emotions. Keep becoming the person they can safely love.

Your spouse is not God. They are not designed to carry the weight of unconditional love, endless patience, and unlimited forgiveness.

Appreciate the grace they give you, but do not abuse it.

The healthiest marriages are not built by people who assume their spouse will never leave. They are built by people who consistently give their spouse reasons to stay.

Love is a gift. Loyalty is a treasure. Never treat either as something you are entitled to.

You know I love you❤

Busola Abiodun Adeagbo,
Your Friend

Growth will often introduce you to a version of yourself that your past could not imagine.

The person you are becoming may look different from who you used to be.

You may think differently.
You may choose differently.
You may respond differently.
You may no longer tolerate what you once accepted.

And that is not a loss. That is growth.

Your past was shaped by the knowledge, experiences, wounds, and limitations you had at that time. But as you heal, learn, and grow, you begin to see life from a new perspective.

The old version of you did the best they could with what they knew.

But now you know more.
You understand more.
You have grown more.

Don't apologize for becoming healthier, wiser, and more intentional.

Some people may only recognize the person you used to be, but you are not called to remain there.

This Becoming Season is an invitation to embrace your growth, honor your journey, and step boldly into the person you are becoming.

You are not abandoning yourself.

You are becoming yourself. 🌱

DEAR SINGLE, PLEASE DON'T SETTLE BECAUSE YOU ARE TIRED OF WAITING

One of the most difficult seasons for many singles is the season where they have met people, but they have not met their person.

You have admirers. You have people who are interested in you. You have people who are willing to commit to you. But deep down, you know that this person does not align with the kind of life you desire to build.

And this is where the battle begins.

The waiting season can become exhausting.

You begin to ask yourself questions:

“Am I being too picky?”

“Should I just give this person a chance?”

“What if this is the best I will get?”

“What if the person I desire never comes?”

These thoughts can become louder when you see your friends getting married or when you feel like time is moving faster than your expectations.

But one of the greatest mistakes you can make is choosing a lifelong partner simply because you are tired of waiting.

Marriage is not a decision you make because you are lonely. It is a decision you make because you have found someone with whom you can build, grow, and journey through life.

Yes, be realistic. No human being will check every single box. There is no perfect person walking the earth. But there is a difference between having unrealistic expectations and knowing the kind of person who can genuinely align with your values, purpose, faith, and the future you desire.

Do not confuse patience with rejection.

The fact that the right person has not arrived yet does not mean you should accept someone who does not fit.

Sometimes, the person you are hoping to meet is also somewhere hoping to meet someone like you.

Someone is also praying for a partner with your values, your heart, your kindness, your convictions, and your vision.

Your waiting season is a season of becoming.

While you hope to meet the right person, become the right person too. Heal. Grow. Build your life. Deepen your relationship with God. Develop emotional maturity. Become someone who can sustain the kind of relationship you desire.

Do not allow temporary loneliness to make you commit to a permanent mismatch.

The goal should not just be to choose or be chosen. The goal should be to be chosen by someone with whom you can build a healthy and purposeful life.

Keep your heart open, but do not abandon wisdom.

The right relationship is worth waiting for.

You know I love you❤

Busola Abiodun Adeagbo,
Your Sister

Growth does not require everyone to understand your journey.

Sometimes, the greatest transformations happen when you stop waiting for approval and start trusting the process God is taking you through.

You do not need permission to heal.

You do not need permission to set healthier boundaries.

You do not need permission to become wiser, stronger, and more intentional.

There will be seasons when people who knew the old version of you struggle to understand the new one. That is okay. Growth often changes your choices, your priorities, and the way you see yourself.

Becoming requires a decision.

A decision to stop shrinking.
A decision to stop living based on other people's expectations.
A decision to embrace the person you are growing into.

Don't wait until everyone agrees before you move forward.

Your growth is your responsibility.

Make the decision.
Take the step.
Keep moving.

This Becoming Season is your reminder that evolution begins when you choose to become.

You don't need permission to evolve. 🌱

The Becoming Season Daily Devotional

DAY 167: You Don’t Have to Earn Your Place

Scripture:
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” - 1 John 3:1

Reflection

Many people carry an invisible belief that they must constantly prove their worth. They feel they have to be useful enough, successful enough, available enough, or impressive enough to deserve love, acceptance, or belonging.

This belief can quietly shape relationships, work, and even faith. You may find yourself overextending, seeking approval, or struggling to rest because somewhere deep within you, there is a fear that your value is connected to what you produce.

But God’s love begins from a different place. You are not loved because you perform well. You are not valuable because of what you accomplish. Your worth is not something you negotiate for, it is something you receive.

Healing involves learning to separate who you are from what you do. Your achievements can be celebrated, your gifts can be used, and your contributions can matter, but they do not determine your value. You can give from fullness rather than from the fear of being overlooked.

As you grow, you begin to live differently. You stop chasing belonging and start living from belonging. You stop asking, “Have I done enough to deserve this?” and begin to embrace, “I am already worthy of love and respect.”

God is teaching you that your place is not something you have to earn. You are invited, chosen, and deeply loved.

Prayer

God, heal the places in me that believe I must earn love or prove my worth. Help me receive my identity from You and live from a place of security and belonging. Amen.

Affirmation

I do not have to earn my place. I am loved, valued, and accepted.

Busola Abiodun Adeagbo
Author | Therapist