A Gospeller's Blog

Dug-dug up, dug-dug down, that's how Ana feels her heart beat when she is anxious and since she's choosing trust over anxiety lately, there is a day a time steady pace on the heart transformation.

She saw a video today and it triggered some thoughts, I saw darling Ana keep her phone down and began to talk to the Lord about it, she shut anxiety up and surrendered at the Lords feet, the triggers, the thoughts all over again. The video she saw was edifying, don't get it twisted.

Today, she had lots of the Lord's goodness brought to her remembrance and her spirit leaping for Joy, she played the new songs He placed in her heart back Him, really sweet melodies.

Her heart is beating steady, trusting has always felt this good, anxiety wanted her to forget, this battle with anxiety is for the Kings glory, it's sharpening trust on another level.

She admits more often: "not by might nor by power but by the Spirit", she tells her soul "trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path".

Ana's heart is peaceful because the Father, the King who is God, is lording over her heart and giving the peace He gives to those who are anxious for nothing but bring everything to Him in prayer, and all kind of requests with thanksgiving.

A Gospeller's Blog

Have you heard a heart run a marathon or have you seen it skip, hop, beat and even pant for what is some times not in its power to do or work out.

Well this is Ana's heart, she is learning every day to let her heart be still and know, that the Lord, the King, is God.

Ever since the Holy Spirit searched her heart and told her, she had an anxious heart, she has asked for help and is learning to trust the Lord over again, like she had never known what it is like to trust the Him.

"One day at time precious Holy Spirit, please lead", that's her prayer, "a heart like yours, Jesus", that's her request. "Help me learn all you want me to in phase", that's what she is yearning for.

One purpose at a time every season will be treasured, to be remembered, having perseverance completing it's work, that she will lack nothing.

Trust over anxiety, Peace over anxiety.

A Gospeller's Blog

Hate what Jesus hates!
Love who He loves!

Someone shared a snippet of a new movie on Netflix, under it he asked 'What should the Church do?'

The movie is about a young man who declared to family and church (I think) that he is a gay Christian.
In his own words;

"My name is Eric Effiong. And I'm a christian and a proud gay man. I know a lot of you feel that what I've just said is sinful and that I need to pray for forgiveness but you're wrong....."

He goes on to say that his heart is torn between hiding his truth or losing his community (Church community.) He said if they loved him as he was he would be baptised... And so on.

Now while there's so much to say about those few words he uttered, I'd like to answer the question Edikan asked when he uploaded the video snippet.

WHAT SHOULD THE CHURCH DO?

The Church should do what its Head and Founder commissioned it to do - stand on the foundation of truth, love people but be uncompromising of truth.

The world wants to twist the narrative and blackmail the Church into conforming to the very things Jesus came to save people from - lust of the flesh, pride of life, lust of the eyes... Bo***ge to the ways of darkness.

:

A while back, a dear daughter visited me and was shaky on her stand about this issue because she had close friends who were gay. She said "It's not their fault, it's their s*xual orientation, they have natural feelings for fellow men."

The Holy Spirit gave me an immediate response with which to show her the fault in her logic, I said to her;

"Then let's clap for pedophiles. It's not their fault, it's their s*xual orientation to be drawn to babies and children."

Yes, if we're going to choose feelings over faith in God's word. If we are going to exalt human feelings over God's truth, which is the only truth, then let's not stop at gay men and le****ns, let's embrace the "Innocent" men who are just attracted to the round or flat bu**um of babies.

WHAT SHOULD THE CHURCH DO?

The church shouldn't blend into a system it was called to influence.

The church shouldn't call beautiful what God calls terrible.

The church shouldn't dim its light to make darkness comfortable.

Pe******ia is evil. Being attracted to a fellow man's buttocks is evil, in fact the Bible says this is a sideeffect of not acknowledging God as God.

Are there people who are truly attracted to the same s*x? YES, just as there are adults who are attracted to babies.

Your attraction to something doesn't make it right. If it against God's natural order of things. If it's against the TRUTH as written in scripture, don't try to twist the word to suit your demons, allow the word to burn your heart, surrender to God's authority and you'll find that He is a consuming fire.

Yes, the Church should do what they'd do to a liar, a ra**st, to a pedohpile, to a thief, hate the sin as much as God does, and love the sinner as fiercely as Jesus does.

Love Him enough to give Him the Truth, because only the truth can set Him free. It's not love to allow a person remain in chains when the word can burn the debris out of him.

And if you doubt that God can heal your misplaced s*xual attraction, I have an example for you, her name is Jackie Hill Perry. She chose to let God help her instead of folding God into her pocket of "My truth" and she has a book you should read "Gay Girl, Good Good."

Be like her, choose God over your feelings.

Selah.

💞

Down on her knees, her hands together, her eyes closed, by her bedside, Ana was to say a prayer, between she and the Lord they knew the truth, though she sometimes forgot that He knew about her secret wishes and her answers to her prayers but if you know the Lord, you'd know He loves the quiet for some exams. She came to pray, to talk to the Lord and she came with the answers, only hoping the Lord's answer to fit into her solved puzzle.

Kneeling there she wondered why she didn't trust the Lord, "could it be difficult?" trusting someone you once trusted. She had trusted the Lord many times before but this time just seems a little harder, yet He is the same Lord.

For some reason the Lord, whom she believed held her life together suddenly did not know how to hold it together anymore, the Lord whom she trusted for direction to where she is now, who obviously proofed to know her better than herself and walked her through His higher ways, has lost His master's touch.

Still on her knees for more than a while with just her thoughts talking, the faith for which the just must live by, was somewhere in her heart like a mustard seed, and she was ready to use the strength Jesus said such faith could work out, she began to murmur some words, "I trust you Lord".

It became louder as she placed it on repeat on her lips, the louder she proclaimed, the bigger the mustard seed like faith grew, she started counting her blessings and out came scriptures of faith as the Holy Spirit brought to her consciousness, spiritual songs that propelled strength,and the language of the spirit with which she began to build her most holy faith.

Oh! what a privilege to take it to the Lord in prayer. Even if the Lord didn't say a word like she wanted, she knew she must trust Him like He had told her before now. She was glad she discarded the needless pain she bore, anxiously trying to hold her life together.

A Gospeller's Blog

To die once, to die twice, or to die thrice, which would I prefer?

To die everyday it is, as long as my heart is transformed into His likeness, each day, I mean the one who paid off my death penalty.

The one who took the fall, "the fall" usually taken by the least for the great but He did differently. He, the greatest, took the fall for the least, me and you, how bloody sweet.

Yes, bloody, His RED BLOODED LOVE, gushed out from the wounds inflicted on Him, the nails driven into His hands, the thorny crown seated on His head, the strokes plugged into His skin severally. Who can ever repeat this heroic and historic Love story?

Nobody can, nobody will.

Perfect Man He was, Perfect God He was and He is. Perfect Heart, so pure, so true, His nature is customized.

He first loved me, I want to love Him right back, I want learn to love Him, just the way He wants to be loved.
That's why I want to die everyday, to have Him kill me, to have Him instruct me, to Him lead me, to have Him bruise my pride, breakdown my defences.

To have Him teach me to love myself like He loves me, to love my neighbour like He would love them, whether I want to or not, to love the stranger like He would love them, whether I maybe cheated or not.

To consider people, to intercede in prayer, to give and not expect to be given back, to think of our Kingdom first, His Kingdom.

A heart like His heart, full of compassion like mooma CeCe sang to Him, nothing wrong within. Help me remain with You, cause I know I look more like You.

A heart like yours, I want always and everyday, so I am willing to keep dying, to have You kill me now and always.

A Gospeller's Blog

A good word for a good morning 🌞

PAIN ATTENDANT 3

I see you cry, I hear your hurting, it makes your heart beat to an unusual fast and sad song.

I want to hold your heart and make it stop pacing, running and dancing all over, in different thoughts of "why", "how".

I talk to the pain attendant and I ask almost always to be to you, all that you need and whoever that you need now and always.

He died earlier than He should, she left without a goodbye, your little baby, slept and didn't wake up when the c**k alarmed.

It's a lot for you and I told the Pain Attendant, He said, He knows, that is why He promised never to leave you or forsake you.

Come! Meet the PAIN ATTENDANT, if you are yet to, good thing is He loved before now.

And dear believer, the PAIN ATTENDANT is ever present, He is close to those who trust Him, even trusting Him with your grieving heart.

I'll say a prayer for you, precious one!

The smile on the that face in the photo is from me to you,
you are loved.

A Gospeller's Blog

What's your favourite part of ABBA?

Do you know what I love most about you, Abba? It's not my all-time favourite thing about you because my favourite thing about you seems to change with the seasons I'm in. Sometimes it's your patience I love the most. Sometimes it's your immense ability to love me when I don't feel loveable. Yet other times, it's just your Father-heart towards me. I think I love that mostly, most times. And right now?

What I love the most about you, in this season, is your gentle tug as the storm blows, reminding me of how much peace and comfort you await to give me in the pages of The Bible. I love how you whisper to my heart and the undeniable pull towards your word. It's comforting in itself, that you want me to scale this mountain like a warrior, like the I AM's offspring that I am. That my peace and mental health matters to you.

And oh! The gushing sound of water, flooding the worries, cleansing the impurities of fear and the broken pieces of heartache. I love how your word envelopes me, assures me, fills me with peace and with a strange new level of strength; mental, emotional and physical. I love your Word. There's nothing the world can say to disprove what I've experienced; Your word is true!

In trying times and easy ones, your love is constant. Your word is an anchor for my soul. Your Presence is peace. And your heart beats for me. You're powerful towards me. You hear and you answer my prayers. You're with me in trouble, and you deliver me from trouble.

Never in your history with the ones you love, have you ever failed to deliver and to turn it all for our good. Your word reminds me of your greatness. And fills my heart with faith, with dynamic ability to speak and see the mountains move, and with the peace to be at rest while it moves. I love your Word. I love you Abba, I really do. And then again, this love stems from your immense love for me, so thank you Father. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Holy Spirit.

Being yours is the best thing that ever happened to me.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE THING ABOUT GOD?

💞

Call me warrior, you'll see that you know a little about me already. A born fighter, able to fight anything, any human, any idea, that contends with me or my beliefs, even if i have to fight with my tears.

I stood by a junction in wait for my sister to catch up with my pace, when suddenly a man was pushed against a static truck, kicked to the ground and slapped. Another man was ready to beat him "soft like clay" in Niyi Osundare's voice.

Ahhh..."I will not see blood, I will not behold iniquity, I refuse it with power" this were the thoughts in my head.

Me, that is healing from a lot, for a child who grew in Calabar south, frequently stumbling on jungle justice parades, brutal scene of man making man pay for his sins, people killed, by knives and fire.

On default mood activated I loudly said, STOP!

One man began to chance me, I answered him, back to back. I was not fighting him, it was the VIOLENCE.

Before the man chancing, all tears broke loose, the river banks were run over, I was crying, he did not expect it.

He started begging, he was no longer chancing, he said "I don't want to see you cry". I surprised myself.

My crying disbanded them, this was victory 😂

They solved the issue with victim another way, most probably, because I was busy crying.

I realised that I was triggered by that whole drama and how I reacted amazed me.

Have you ever had triggers from an event that opened up a wound or painful memory you were healing from? How did you handle it? Did you find out you still need to heal consistently?

I believe triggers are good examiners and so, I pray we get to experience triggers that will help us see the different areas of our lives, where we need to heal completely, amen.

Because ABBA has healing in abundance, available for each day and ABBA needs His babies whole in Him.

AA Gospeller's Blog

Happy Blessed July!!

Thank you for coming Jesus!

OH MY!!
😭😭

In 1986, The American Medical Association published an article titled "The Physical Death of Jesus Christ". It details the entire process of Jesus' trial to His death on the cross. In Luke 22, before Jesus is arrested, it is written that He was in great distress & sweating blood. Although rare, it is recognized as Hematidrosis, caused by high amounts of stress.

At the time, the crucifixion was considered the worst death for the worst of criminals. But this is not all Jesus faced. He endured whipping so severe that it tore the flesh from His body. He was beaten so horrific that His face was torn & His beard ripped. A crown of thorns, 2-3 inches long cut deeply into His scalp. The leather whip used to flog Him had tiny iron balls & sharp bones. The balls caused internal injuries while the sharp bones ripped open His flesh. His skeletal muscles, veins, & bowels we're exposed, causing major blood loss. Most men do not survive this kind of torture. After Jesus was severely flogged, He was forced to carry His own cross while people mocked & spat on Him.

Crucifixion was a process meant to instill excruciating pain, creating a slow & agonizing death. Nails as long as 8 inches were driven into Jesus' wrists & feet. The Roman soldiers knew the tendon in the wrists would tear and break, forcing Jesus to use His back muscles to support Himself to breathe. Imagine the struggle, the pain, the courage..Jesus endured this reality for 3 hours!

The Gospel of John writes that after Jesus' death, a Roman soldier pierced His side with a spear and blood and water came out. Scientists explain that from hypovolemic shock, the rapid heart rate causes fluid to gather in the sack around the lungs and heart. The gathering of fluid in the membrane around the heart is called Pericardial effusion and the lungs, Pleural effusion.

To the world, Christianity is as foolish as it can get. They believe it's for the weak. But when you are confronted by the reality of the cross, it's clearly not a pretty sight. It is brutal and horrific. This is the weight Jesus carried. The weight of the sins of the world, all so that we can live. God's wrath is fully satisfied in Jesus. This is what it took. Repent and believe! Jesus is “God among us” in the flesh. Jesus is our Savior. Jesus loves you so much, He went through this spiritual and physical punishment for your sins and mine. Jesus is Lord, Almighty God, Everlasting Father.

PS: I saw this on Ava Kasich's wall and the thought that came to me was 'And this physical suffering is nothing compared to the spiritual death he went through and the pain of three decades in a human body. The sacrifice of Jesus was too great to explain in full.' Thank you Jesus for coming.

💞

PAIN ATTENDANT

I left so fast, too soon, without a hug or a handshake, not sure I even gave a smile. I did naughty again, even from this end, forgive me. Forgive me, I let you experience watching me not move to the sound of your voice or respond to your slap and kicks, I didn't even play a prank.

Forgive me for not letting you see your dreams for me.

Please cry! Please mourn! Please miss me! But promise me you'll heal everyday, promise to practice all that you taught me. Remember you taught from the bible, "the dead in Christ will rise", so you should know I am sleeping in wait for "the loud command" (1 thess 4:15-16). I slept too early, I know, and it breaks your heart.

Please cry! Please mourn! Please miss me! But promise me you'll heal everyday, promise to practice all that you taught me. "God knows everything", you taught, He know the deep secret things and also reveals them (Daniel 2:22). Because we believe He knows everything, we also trust him, He is our God (Psalm 31:14), please trust Him.

You asked Him "why" and He chose silence for His response to you, He is King, his choice is the choicest. Leave Him be, I'll ask Him on your behalf, remember we'll meet again, I will gist you as I normally would what His response will be.

Please cry! Please mourn! Please miss me! But promise me you'll heal everyday, promise to practice all that you taught me. I know the PAIN ATTENDANT, He is concerned about you.

As you taught from scripture, we do not have a high priest who is not able to feel what we feel or be moved by it, even this pain. Promise me you will go to Him without shame in your pain and weakness, promise me, because mercy and grace await you for this time of need (Heb 4:15-16). He knows pain, even this very pain.

For the grieving heart. (A parent's lullaby).