Nelson Mathebeng

Let's get this right

Boy cheats on
girl. Girl is heartbroken. Girl
despairs. Boy leaves girl, and girl’s pain
lingers for years afterward. Girl
feels like s**t about herself. And in order
for her Feeling Brain to maintain
hope, her Thinking Brain must pick one of
two explanations. She can
believe either that (a) all boys are s**t
or (b) she is s**t.
Well, s**t. Neither of those is a good
option.
But she decides to go with option (a), “
all boys are s**t,” because, after
all, she still has to live with herself.
This choice isn’t made consciously,
mind you. It just kind of happens.
Jump ahead a few years. Girl meets another
boy. This boy isn’t s**t. In
fact, this boy is the opposite of s**t. He
’s pretty rad. And sweet. And cares.
Like, really, truly cares.
But girl is in a conundrum. How can this
boy be real? How can he be
true? After all, she knows that all boys
are s**t. It’s true. It must be true; she
has the emotional scars to prove it.Sadly, the realization that this boy is not
s**t is too painful for girl’s
Feeling Brain to handle, so she convinces
herself that he is, indeed, s**t.
She nitpicks his tiniest flaws. She notices
every errant word, every
misplaced gesture, every awkward touch. She
zeroes in on his most
insignificant mistakes until they stand
bright in her mind like a flashing
strobe light screaming, “Run away! Save
yourself!”
So, she does. She runs. And she runs in the
most horrible of ways. She
leaves him for another boy. After all, all
boys are s**t. So, what’s trading
one piece of s**t for another? It means
nothing.

Change your thinking

It's not the ones that left who broke my heart, it's the ones who stayed and hurt me every chance they got, over and over again

For serious relationships only

Most people often pay too much attention to "love language " in a relationship, that's totally ok, infact I think its important to do so, but I personally think that there is another language that is of the equal importance to love language if not a little bit more important. "Apologetic Language "

You need to learn how your partner needs to be apologized to, and this is so essential that I have seen many relationships end bcos of it. You see, most men don't like to address issues that border them in relationships bcos they feel their partners won't be able to apologize in the manner that they prefer, let alone those partners who never apologize at all.

So as they keep this small bordering issues in, they pile up over time, and it is just a matter of time before they burst like a nuclear bomb and destroy that relationship. Every conversation you will have will eventually turn into a battlefield of discomforting words, the most painful thing is, you both won't know where the core problem of this is because this are stuff that were kept within from the past, and now they came to get their fair share, they were not put on the table for discussion and apologies bcos you don't know how to apologize to this particular person.

For me, if you did me wrong and I confront you about it and all you can say is "phephi", "sorry hee". It's a total turn off. What happened to " okay my love I understand and I am really sorry about this, I promise I will work it" that feels more like a decent apology for me.

Some people just prefer that you keep quite while they shout and yell at you, they want you to listen and that's thier own Apologetic language and it's your job is a partner to identify and know the Apologetic language of your partner bcos the truth is, you will face situations where you need to use that knowledge quite often.

*How your mind works*

This is probably the topic i have always wanted to talk about for a very long time now but never really had the chance to share with you guys.

You have a mind, and I believe it's very vital to know how it works and how you can use it to your advantage. So your mind has two levels, the conscious and the subconscious mind.

*Conscious mind*
You think with your conscious mind, this is the part of your mind that is responsible for communication and your reasoning power. it makes use of your five sensory organs, it is this part of the mind that tells you to move out of the way when the car comes rushing to you.

*Subconscious Mind*
The subconscious mind is what makes your body, it is the part of the mind that has helped you survive this long, its the part of your mind that tells you that you are hungry and you need to eat, it keeps your heart beating, your lungs breathing and so on without you being aware that it doing all of this, this part of your mind is responsible for the person you are today, your personality and everything about you.

*How they work together*

You think with your conscious mind, whatever you habitually think sinks down to your subconscious mind, and remember this is the mind that makes you. It creates according to the nature of your thoughts, it is the seat of your emotions,if you think you think good, good will follow, if you think evil, evil with definitely haunt you to the ends of the world for as long as you dwell under the sun and the moon.

Let's take your conscious mind as the captain of this sheep we call life, the subconscious as the operating men in the engine room. The captain sees where the ship is going, if he sees something not right, he tells the men in the engine room what to do, and they have to follow his instructions. This men are also responsible for the inside health of the ship and always make sure its operating to its maximum potential

Your subconscious mind doesn't know any difference between good and bad, whatever your conscious mind constantly thinks about, it accepts it as a true value and executes as instructed. So if your thoughts repeated time and over are responsible for the way you feel, and that kind of feeling repeated again and again produces a certain emotion which causes you to behave in a certain way, you will then agree with me that the way you think makes you who you are.

IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU UNDERSTAND HOW YOUR MIND WORKS SINCE MOST OF OUR TOPICS ON THIS PAGE HEAVILY DEPEND ON THAT UNDERSTANDING.

Good afternoon fellas.😁😁

If you become a person of a different sex,would you date yourself and be proud ?

I don't about y'all gentlemen but this thing of sending friend requests to beautiful ladies on Facebook, sitting tied and hoping they accept and and as soon as they do you there with "hello beautiful, HUD, WUD." . That kinda looks .....aauhh no so cool for me. It makes me feel like I am not serious about my own life. Like I have too much free time all to myself and I have nothing serious goimg on in my life. Again this is my personal preference.

I am not texting any girl on Facebook, not unless she and I know eachother and I absolutely have a valid reason to text her, otherwise aee.

You see if I want a girl, I will make moves on her when I meet live. This girls aren't as beautiful as they look in social media anyway😂 so I might as well see her live.

I am also conscious that emotions do lie so I am not talking to any stranger girl I just saw just because I felt something for her nah, I am gonna let slide like I didn't see her (ehlile ke na le nthonyana eno ea ho ikhantsha tjena) 😑😑

If, however I see her for the second time and the third and I feel the same way as I felt when I first saw her😋😋then I am not wasting any more time because this time I will be convinced I like her, so I am gonna walk to her, I don't care if she is alone or with her friends, as long as she is not with another dude( hoba chee teng hake telle that , nka se tlo batla ho create conversations le cheri u ntso tsamaya le eona).

"Hi excuse me ma'am, you might be in hurry or may be busy with your day and I am sorry to burst in like this, but if you can just take 30secs of your time to tell me your name, that would really make my day"

She would probably smile a bit and say it

" Senate"

Now it's my turn to smile a bit and actually act like my day is indeed made.

"Senate😊, you are so kind, thank you very much, enjoy"

Right after this words, I am plugging in my earphones and I am walking away, no long conversations.

Then next time we meet I will tell her my name, and tell her that next when we meet, I would very much appreciate it if when I call her name, she would just call mine back.

"Hello Senate"

"Hey Nelson"

Uuuhh😌😌 aukwa hee now that's nice, then I walk away again, no long conversations. Then next time we meet, it's then that i will ask her out,get to know her and ask for her numbers then. Stop rushing things.

We should exchange numbers only when we are comfortable with eachother, not on a get go fela njee.😏😏

Post ee hase ya batho ba lisabole😂😂😂

God doesn't make any mistakes, you can't possibly be the first!

One day when we finally make it to the top, let's joke about how hard it was when we first started.🖤🖤