Merianprince012

nime eleza chatgpt shinda napitia nikaiuliza nikiamka nafaa kufanya nini
inaniambia nilale Tena juu sasa ntaenda wapi

kichele

chokosh ni noma si noma

Oh my God is my birthday

Usipojituma watakudharau

🙆🤔👉Leo nikiwa nimetulia tu hivi kwa nyumba kidogo nimepigigwa phone 📱 kuangalia ni Mary kutoka muriri 🙆.
Huyu Mary nilikuwa ninamtext sana huku Facebook akaniambia ako na bwana lakini juu ya urembo wake mm niliendelea kumsumbua kumtext dem naye hakuwa analenga messages zangu🥰
Nikaangalia Sharon alikuwa ameenda kuoga nikachukua hiyo call faster nikatoka nje ya ploti👊.

Mary:Unaendeleaje mpenzi❤️
Me:Niko poa
Mary:Uko wapi sahii?
Me:Nimetulia tu kwangu
Mary:Akh nataka tumeet leo nikakuone sweetheart
Me:Uko wapi?
Mary:Niko kwangu huku muriri unaweza make kuja kwangu?
Me:Ndio dear👊
Mary:Nakungoja basi ukifika unipigie simu📱
Me:Sawa darling ❤️

After kumaliza kuongea naye nilirudi kwa nyumba nikapata Sharon ashamaliza kuoga nikamwambia aniwekee maji kwa bafu nikaoge kuna emergency nimeitiwa kazini👊
Sharon akaniwekea maji teketeke nikaoga nikapata amenipangia nguo zangu nikafaa nikatoka kwelekea kwa Mary.Kufika stage ya muriri nilimpigia phone 📱nikamwambia Mary niko kwa stage,Mary akaniambia nimngoje kwa dakika 10 mimi nikamsubiri kabla hajakuja nilienda nikanunua CD 3 za kazi nikaziweka kwa wallet nikijua leo lazima aniangushie mzigo🍆🍑
Dakika kumi kuisha Mary alinipigia phone tena👊

Mary:Umevaa aje dear?
Nikamwelezea kidogo dem akajitokeza mbele yangu🙆 akanipa hug❤️ kisha akanipeleka kwake👊
Kuingia kwa nyumba yake ambayo ni 2bedroom akafunga mlango vizuri mimi nikajua hapa ni mzigo ananiangushia akh🍑❤️🥰akaniletea chakula nikiendelea kula nilisikia akiitana "Baba Morgan yule jamaa ambaye alikuwa ananisumbua kwa calls na messages ndiye huyu amefika💔"....

My wife aneshinda akicomplain🍆🍆👈 Machine yangu ni ndogo Sana Kila siku Jana nliamua kwenda kwa mganga ndio 🍆🍆 machine iwe kubwa nilime bibi yangu mbaka aitane🙈🙈🙈nlipofika kule kwa mganga nkatengenezewa mambo halafu mganga akanishow nkirudi home any animal ntapatana naye njiani 🤤 niseme tu NATAKA KUWA NA CHUMA K**A YAKO😏😏😏 nlipokuwa naenda home nkaona kuku mimi nkanyamaza kidogo kidogo kaa sijaenda mbali nkaona mbuzi😥 nkanyamaza ckusema chochote🤠🤠🤠 Halafu mwishowe nkapatana na punda nkafurahi sana na nkasema kwa sauti NATAKA KUWA NA CHUMA K**A YAKO 🤔🤔🤔halafu nkaenda nyumbani na furaha Sana nkahug bibi yangu nkampea mamunju halafu nkambeba mbaka kwa kitanda nikijua lazima leo nilime mtu mbaka kitu inuke omena baridi😋😋😋😋 kwenda kutoa nguo wueeeeeee. Wacha nilie kwanza ‼️⁉️‼️⁉️ kumbe punda nilipatana nae kwa njia ilikuwa ya kike😂😂🤣😂😂

Guza on the follow button hapo juu 🖕🖕 ya post tukue tunacheka pamoja.

Kweli niko na bibi💘.. but haka kadem kamekuja kwa plot manze ni fire 😍. To make matters worse, tushaanza kuvibe, number tumeExchange and guess what, kashaniitia date, makofi 😂. I had to lie to my wife,,, sister yangu mwenye anakaa Nakuru ni msick. I have to attend to her, my wife being that fine girl too, hakukataa, alikubali then mimi huyo 8pm natoka in the name of going to Nakuru.

Of course siendi Nakuru, naenda kwa Sylvia, the 2 months old tenant, na kako single sijai ona kakiwa na mtu, makofi 👏 😂.

Natoka naenda hadi tao just to buy time ndio by saa mbili nirudi k**a wife amelala then niingie kwa Sylvia bila wasiwasi 😂. Plan inaenda tu fiti, saa mbili inafika nacall📲 wife nmwambia babe, guess what nishafika Nakuru, siz stable kiasi so acha nilale tuongee morning😂. Good night love, good night too, story inakatika mimi huyo kwa Sylvia😁.

Around saa mbili na nusu, tukiwa kwa Sylvia, tunasikia mtu akibisha✊ kumbe ni bibi yangu. Of course Sylvia anamjua so ananisignal najificha. Mimi huyo chini ya kitanda. Natense, jasho🥵 manze nikidhani maybe ashajua niko kwa Sylvia, kumbe si venye nafikiria, amekuja tu kuomba kitu, makofi 😂😂🔥. "Hey, sasa Sylvia, please uko na c****m nane unisaidie? Hii kitu🍑 leo lazima inuke mayai choma" now ngoja kwanza, hiyo makofi usipige kwanza, bibi yangu, siko kwa nyumba, co**dm nane anaomba za nini🤔? Leave alone that one, ju Sylvia alimpea, mtu ambaye sijai ona akiwa na chali co***ms anakaa nazo za nini🙄?

As we speak nimetoka Nakuru na 10minutes niko kwangu nabishabisha✊ bibi amekataa kufungua anasema mimi ni pepo anajua niko Nakuru.🙄
Mtu anisaidie namba ya daktari wa kitui 😌

Back in high school, i was very poor in maths during exams nilikuwa napata kati ya 4%na 10%🙈. The results used to be announced from the lowest maark's to the highest marks,, so nilikuwa wa kwanza ama wa pili kuitwa🤨 alafu napokea viboko kadha 🙁
So one day the maths results were announced and my name wasn't among the first to be called 🤜🤛,,, so mwalimu anaendelea 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% bado jina langu halikuitwa, kila mtu Kwa class akaniangalia👀,, wanauliza "humepitaje huu mtihani?"😝,nikasmile nikasema "Ni mungu tu " by the time alifika 80% I was already grinding in excitement . Wakati alifika 90% alikuwa amebaki na paper moja tu😁🙌,, saa mungu amejibu maombi na ndoto yangu ya kupita maths imetimia 🙏,, class mzima walishanga na kuniangalia 👀,,, finally mwalimu akaangalia juu na kusema
"One idiot did not write his name and scored 0% I just fainted😂😂😂

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GREAT ANNOUNCEMENT ‼️‼️

FOOTBALL VS S£X

1. Going to ur boyfriend or Girlfriend's house without being invited = Offside😂💔😂

2. Dating a girl today and having s€x on the same day = Free kick😂💔😂

3. Condom = Defender😂💔😂

4. Abortion = Red card😂💔😂

5. Condom breaks = Penalty😂💔😂

6. A girl with a lot of energy = Captain😂💔😂

7. Having s€x without a condom = Own goal😂💔😂

8. Taking a lot of time without c^ming = Man of the match😂💔😂

9. S€xing three girls in one day = Hat trick😂💔😂

10. Having s£x with ur Ex = Friendly match😂💔😂

11. Eight years of s£x without getting a child = Arsenal😂😂💔😂😂

12. After two rounds and u request for more = Extra time😃😃

13. Taking it gently when having s£x = Fair play😆

14. Biting ur girlfriend's ni***es = Suarez😜😁

15. Two legs on the shoulder as if u are changing pampers = Throwing🤩😅

16. Asking her "how do u want it?" = Taking instructions from the touchline😂💔

17. A lady using pills after s£x and later she still gets pregnant = Defensive error
😃😆😜
18. A girl getting pregnant = Goooooal😜😁🤩

19. Having s£x with ur girlfriend and ur mum opens the door = Injury😂💔😂

20. A guy who impregnated the lady = Active striker😂😃

21. A girl telling u to stop = yellow card😂💔😂

22. You and ur girlfriend break up in ur love relationship = Game over

Just for fun shâre to keep the fun going 😂