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Months into this pregnancy, and it has brought me to my knees in ways I never expected.
Since the beginning, I’ve been so sick, countless ER visits, days and nights spent stuck in bed, feeling like my body isn’t my own. Along with that came a heaviness I couldn’t quite name, loneliness, even when surrounded by people. A distance I’ve felt from my own children that breaks my heart more than I can put into words.
The past week and a half, especially, has been incredibly dark. The kind of exhaustion that goes beyond physical, the kind that settles deep into your soul. Thoughts I didn’t recognize as my own. Moments where just getting through the day felt impossible.
Today, at 14 weeks, I stepped outside for the first time in what feels like forever. Just into my yard. The sun was warm, the air felt alive and for a moment, I felt alive too.
My husband gently helped me get dressed, encouraged me to come outside, and even took a few photos of me. In a season where I’ve felt so unlike myself, he’s been my steady place. I’m so deeply grateful for him.
And in the middle of all of this, I’ve found myself clinging tighter to God than ever before. In the darkest moments, when I fix my eyes on Him, I’m reminded that none of this is outside of His timing. None of it is without purpose.
I don’t understand this season. I don’t have the strength on my own. But I am choosing to trust Him. To believe that even here, especially here, He is working.

Ukizaliwa pekeako n shida

God is good

Sabbath spend well

Aky ii maisha n mungu tu