DMJ Coaching

Step 4: Write your new story and rebuild self-trust

The final step of The THAW Method.

This step isn’t about just being more confident. It is about rewriting the evidence your brain uses to decide what you are capable of.

Today, you acknowledge your old beliefs, choose your new story, and commit to one small thing that aligns with your new identity - someone who takes small actions every day.

Here’s your template:
➡️ I used to believe: (old belief)
➡️ I now choose to believe: (new belief)
➡️ The smallest promise I will keep this week: (tiny, doable action)

I will record two moments this week where I kept the promise - jot them down in a journal.

This step completes the loop - you become the evidence you and your nervous system can trust. It moves us from just knowing things need to change to real-life shifts in how you show up.

Feel free to drop your new belief in the comments or share a story with a screenshot of your 3 lines. I’ll give feedback and highlight common themes to help everyone move forward.

It isn't always easy to be transparent and vulnerable.

The safe option feels like...

➡️ Keeping thoughts to yourself
➡️ Diluting your opinions
➡️ Pretending everything is fine when it isn't
➡️ Pushing your needs to the side
➡️ Keeping the peace

Anything other than expressing the realest version of you. Because what if that version means rejection, judgement or even loss.

But safe doesn't mean better. It just means more comfortable. If comfort is your goal, cool.

But if the goal is a deeply fulfilling, enjoyable life rooted in confidence and self respect, imperfection is the key.

Letting others see the real, messy, honest version of who we are.

✅️ The version that gets it wrong but tries again.
✅️ The version that will always learn, grow and evolve.
✅️ The version that has good core intentions regardless of the outcome.

For all this to happen, you need to start with this...

DROPPING SELF JUDGEMENT.

If you continuously judge yourself negatively you will never feel safe to let your guard down. If you are ready to feel confident, calm and content, let's start with a Living Free Intensive.

Message "FREE" for details.

And finally I can BREATHE!

Living under fear of never putting a foot wrong is a heavy weight to carry.

I chose to put it down and gain a new perspective.

Mistakes are inevitable, especially if you want a full life.

If you want to stop putting yourself under so much pressure, you need to dismantle the stories keeping you there.

That is exactly what we do with Living Free Coaching. Message me with "FREE" to book a free 30-minute discovery call and let's chat about what holds you back from feeling free.

Step 3: A for Act Before You’re Ready... taking 70% action

Last week, you Traced The Belief and Honoured The Alarm. Now you are going to practice moving before you are 100% ready.

The 70% rule is your antidote to waiting for perfection. Pick one area this week - diet, work projects, exercise, relationships - and do one at 70% action. It could be sending a first draft of an email, not amending a spelling mistake, putting forward a half-formed idea, or setting a boundary without overthinking it.

Whatever you choose, you are going to intentionally do it Imperfectly!

I'd love you to share your 70% action in the comments or in your stories and tag me with . If you want a simple prompt:

➡️ Career: I’ll publish a post before refining it
➡️ Diet: I’ll eat a yummy snack without earning it
➡️ Exercise: I'll miss a workout
➡️ Body: I won't get on the scales
➡️ Relationship: I’ll say no once without explanation
➡️ Creative: I’ll take a break before finishing a task

Aiming for 70% and intentionally stopping short of going better generates real-world evidence that good enough is ok. It reconditions your nervous system to stop feeling threatened by imperfection and expands self-trust.

Tag me

As promised on Monday, here is step 1.

Before any tool, any technique, any productivity system can work, this has to happen first. Because you can not outrun a belief you are not aware of.
I spent years trying to fix my procrastination with willpower, planners, habit trackers, rules, and strict routines.

Nothing stuck. And I couldn't understand why because I'm not someone who lacks discipline. I'd proven that in other areas of my life. So why couldn't I just do the thing?

Because I was trying to solve the symptom while the root was still running.

The root was a belief I'd carried since I was young: "If you do it wrong, people will realise you are not capable."

I didn't actually realise I believed that as I'd never said it out loud. But it was there, making me stall every single time I sat down to do something that mattered.

The Trace exercise is simple. It takes 60 seconds. And it will show you more about why you're stuck than any productivity book ever will.
Do it now. Stop scrolling, think of the thing you've been avoiding, and finish the sentence.

"If I do it imperfectly, that would mean I am ________."
Even if it feels uncomfortable to say it out loud, do it.

Especially if it feels uncomfortable. That discomfort is the belief showing itself. And you naming it here is already Step 1 in action!

What a day!!!

First walk lead as a volunteer and it didn't disappoint.

The views were spectacular.
The company was wonderful.
The weather was kind.

8 hours all up, it was a tough hike of ups and downs and for several people, it was the furthest they had ever walked. An incredible achievement and inspired is an understatement.

A huge thank you to everyone for supporting each other so beautifully and for making my first time an absolute pleasure.

Going to bed very fulfilled and thankful 🤍

Yesterday I asked you: "What were you actually afraid of this week?"

Today I want to answer the question behind that question - why the fear keeps winning even when you know better.

You've read books, downloaded planners, taken advice. And you're still stuck.

Here's why: every piece of advice you've been given assumes the problem is information. That if you just knew the right system, the right morning routine, the right accountability structure then you'd finally do the thing.

But you don't have an information problem. You have a safety problem!

Your nervous system learned (probably a long time ago) that being seen doing something imperfect carried a real cost. Criticism. Withdrawal. Disappointment. Rejection. Embrassment.

So it built a protection, which looks like:

➡️ Suddenly needing to reorganise your desk before you start.

➡️ Opening a document and closing it 4 minutes later

➡️ Feeling genuinely exhausted the moment you sit down to do the thing

➡️ Doing everything on your list except the most important thing.

It is not weakness. It is a very clever nervous system doing exactly what it was trained to do.

The work isn't to override it but to update it!

That's what The THAW Method is built for and we're going into it properly this week. First step drops Wednesday. Follow so you don't miss it.

Which one of those four 'stuck' behaviours lives in your body? The desk reorganising, the tab opening and closing, the sudden exhaustion, or the busy work spiral? Tell me below - I want to know which one your nervous system prefers...

Sunday used to be my most anxious day of the week.

Not because anything bad happened, but because not enough happened!

I'd lie there running the highlight reel of everything I hadn't done, and it made me feel inadequate yet again.

The business idea still in notes form. The gym session I skipped. The thing I said yes to because I just couldn't say no. The dinner I spent calculating calories instead of enjoying the company.

And then I'd make a deal with myself... "Monday. Fresh start. This time, I'll get it right."

If you know that specific, low-grade Sunday dread, I want you to know...
It isn't your conscience or discipline kicking in.

That's perfectionism holding a performance review.

And you don't owe the week a verdict. Or Monday a perfect version of yourself.

You just owe yourself one honest question...

"What was I actually afraid of this week?"

Sit with that and don't try to change anything just yet. Just let yourself recognise it.

That's where the real work starts!