Gary Parsons

For years, winning a new client at work was followed by someone telling me I could "at least smile" and "look happy about it".

They weren't being cruel. They just had no idea that not smiling was the one thing keeping me together. I have Bell's Palsy - one side of my face doesn't work the way it should, and smiling makes that visible, so I stopped. For nearly 20 years, not smiling was my armour.

The word smile in any context was the one thing that could unravel me completely.
This week, I was part of this shoot with Changing Faces UK. And I smiled.... Genuinely! Because of the people in this room and what they represent 💛

Comments have impact, and this , alongside , I'm asking you to Think Before You Speak. 💛

In a recent Changing Faces survey, 94% of respondents living with a visible difference said they lack confidence and self-esteem. No one should feel worried about stepping outside of their home, because of the comments they might receive as they go about their daily lives.

Being part of this shoot felt like something shifted. Standing in a room with people who understood what it costs to be seen, and who chose to show up anyway, took me straight back to why I started talking about this in the first place.

The pressure to perform normally is exhausting. Whether it's hiding a visible difference or hiding the fact that you're struggling, the cost is the same. You lose yourself. 💛

If you or a loved one is struggling with the emotional impact of having a visible difference, join the Changing Faces community. More info through the link in their bio.

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This morning I was live on BBC Radio Derby talking about Bell’s Palsy, the masks we wear, and why Face Equality Week and Mental Health Awareness Week falling in the same week feels like a moment.

Twenty years of hiding. One week of being completely visible 💛

Thank you to for having me and to , for everything you are doing this week!

When I end up on a red carpet one day, this would probably be the outfit. 💛

Bold. Different. Slightly ridiculous.
Very me.

A few years ago, I’d never have had the confidence to even imagine something like this publicly. I spent too many years trying to blend in, wear the mask, and avoid standing out too much.

Now I see things differently.

Success is great. Ambition is great. Big stages are great.

But they can’t become your identity.

Because if your whole identity depends on achievement, applause, or recognition, eventually you end up exhausted trying to protect it.

For me, this stuff is about expression, creativity, and enjoying the journey, not proving my worth.

So yes… I’m still going to manifest the big stages, meaningful conversations, and exciting opportunities.

I just don’t want to lose myself while getting there.

You’ll take a break once this project is done.

You said that last quarter too.

Most leaders aren’t struggling because they’re not good enough. They’re struggling because they’ve been running on empty for so long they’ve forgotten what full feels like.

Six signs it’s happening to you. 👆

None of these are weakness. They’re warning signs.

The leaders who catch them early are the ones who keep performing. The ones who ignore them eventually can’t.

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I’m Gary. I help senior leaders perform sustainably - without burning out the person doing the leading. If this landed, follow me or send me a message.

Most leaders find boundaries easy to talk about. Actually saying the words out loud is where it gets hard.

Here are six phrases that make it easier - starting today.

None of them are rude. None of them are weak. They’re just honest.

Selfish Leadership isn’t about putting yourself first at everyone else’s expense. It’s about showing up as your best self - and that starts with knowing what to say when you need to protect your time, your energy, and your focus.

Save this post. You’ll need it.

Leadership

Most leaders don’t have a time problem, they have a boundary problem.

As the business grows, so does the noise. More meetings, more messages, more decisions, and without really noticing, you become the place everything goes. Not because you should be, but because you’ve never pushed back on it.

At first it feels like leadership. Being involved, being relied on, staying across everything.

But over time, it starts to cost you.

Your thinking time disappears, your energy drops, and your decisions become more reactive than intentional. You’re still performing, but not at the level you’re capable of, and definitely not sustainably.

Boundaries aren’t about doing less. They’re about protecting your ability to lead properly. Because if everything can reach you, nothing gets your best.

So here’s the real question:

👉 What are you still saying yes to that’s costing you clarity?

Performance

You’re not struggling with time, you’re struggling with boundaries.

I see it all the time. Good leaders, capable leaders, stretched leaders, saying yes a bit too often, staying available a bit too long, and slowly losing the space they need to think clearly.

Then performance drops. Not because they’re not good enough, but because they’re overloaded.

Remember, boundaries aren’t about pushing people away. They’re about protecting your ability to lead well.

💛 Clear thinking
💛 Better decisions
💛 Sustainable performance

After our PSA East Midlands meeting on 4th March, I found something in my bag…

>> “You are a real star. Thank you for being awesome.”

No name, just kindness. And honestly, it meant a lot 💛

I was acting Regional President at that meeting, in what was a tough moment for us all with the loss of Mal. But what stood out was how everyone showed up, supported each other, and made it such a powerful, connected event.

So this is my thank you back 🙏

Thank you to everyone who helped bring that meeting together. It wasn’t easy, but it really mattered.

And in the middle of it all, we still had something brilliant to celebrate…

Huge congratulations to Sarah Pocklington for winning Emerging Speaker of the Year at our regional heats 🙌

She’s off to Leeds on 18th April to represent the East Midlands, and we’re all behind you Sarah!

Since then, I’ve officially stepped into the Regional President role, and if that note is anything to go by, I know I’m surrounded by the right people.

Feeling grateful and proud. Let’s keep building 🥰🙌🥳

Special thanks to our amazing speakers, special host and competition judges on the night Katie Allen, Mark Saxby, Pam Burrows, Yvonne Emery, Sarah Pocklington and Lexie Barker // ACIM + our amazing committee, members and guests 👏