Wanderingchef613

I have been struggling to find the right words to share….
I’ve been unable to even open FB to see all the beautiful tributes through my own grief

I have so many complicated feelings
heartbreak
anger
shock
deep sadness
grateful
annoyance
mournful
melancholy
contemplative
sorrow
numbness
confusion
understanding
quietude
to name a few

I’ve been one of Raz’s adopted big sisters for 16 years
we met at Oz, he was the dishwasher and I was the late night cook
he was interested in cooking so I taught him what I knew, eventually I brought him to Navarra and trained him, and we lived together for a time

But like any family dynamic there were ups and downs
the first 11 years were mostly ups and I have some of my very fondest memories at Navarra and our home on Gladstone as well as at Oz

but it became complicated later with alcoholism for both of us and the last 5 years have been fraught with many fights and toxic behaviour on both sides

when he was hospitalized he pushed me away, which deeply hurt my feelings and so I stayed away, and angrily so for 3 years

This summer we bumped into each other and all our interactions were awkward, (mostly on my part)
He requested that we meet up multiple times
Eventually in early October, I agreed, fully prepared to sever ties forever, so deeply hurt and also wanting to remove toxic behaviour from my life…

I am so grateful that didn’t happen

we met for coffee and buried the hatchet, as he put it
had a really nice, honest conversation and catch up.
We parted ways friends again

The last time I saw him was a few days before his passing and completely by happenstance, he wasn’t good, I listened, gave advice, but mostly listened and when he needed to go I gave him the longest most heartfelt hug I have given a human since pre-pandemic times

I am tremendously grateful for having reconciled our friendship and even more grateful for that hug

I had a lot of reasons not to love him, but I loved him anyway, even when we weren’t talking, even when I wanted to sever ties,
I have always loved him like a brother and will for all time
even if he made it really hard

Razmon, I love you, I have always loved you, and I always will love you
You are my family, my little brother, even if you were a s**t a lot of the time

I am grieving this tremendous loss but I have become at ease in that you are no longer in that dark shadow that has caused you so much pain

In the new year myself and a few others would like to start a group where we can safely discuss and work through some of the darker subject matter that is part and parcel of our industry
We need to start talking about mental health, su***de, alcoholism, drugs, toxic behaviour and cultures, we need to come together and help each other

I want to be part of the solution
Our careers have been centered around taking care of other people, to make them feel good, to nourish them, to celebrate and commemorate and it has come at the expense of ourselves. It is high time we do this for each other and build a new community based on compassion, knowledge sharing, and safety

We are all reeling this loss and it has reverberated so much further than I could have ever imagined
I wish Raz was able to see when he was with us the impact he has had

Raz you were one of a kind and we miss you more than you will ever know

We need to bring darkness into the light, so I would like to end with some
of the happy and silly times that I will always treasure

I’m so thrilled at how well the takeover at went, wonderful staff, lovely happy clients, beautiful space and of course it’s always such a pleasure to cook with a huge thank you to the Tok team as well as and what a special night in a special place!! P.S. I can’t believe how well the ‘pork belly’ turned out!!!!! It was a nail biter! Lol also photo credits for the beautiful food shots to

Photos from around the ancient town of Hoi An Vietnam at night

Some photos from ancient town in Hoi An Vietnam

First meal at and new restaurant pt 1….and it was incredible, beautiful space located in the rice Patties of Hoi An, chi Charron with a delicious spicy mayo, beautiful prawn dish and exceptional scallop ceviche followed by lightly fried okra more to come!!

Oliver and Phoebe brought us to the restaurant that were the chefs at for the last 4 years called open Farm Community they are still the consulting chefs but no longer in the kitchen it was so beautiful!! Delicious food and gorgeous and tasty cocktails and a farm where they grow 10% of their produce which is a huge feat in Singapore, the food we had was a kale salad (kale they grew) crab salad curly fries, fried soft shell crab sandwich, carbonara with homemade pasta, a fried white fish, and an egg in bolognese sauce with charcoal sourdough they made, dessert was guava sorbet with coconut and kefir whip everything was super delicious. A meal I will remember for a longtime

More photos from the cloud forest and then some food from the satay by the bay hocker stalls

I’m several days behind in posting from our trip, so here’s a throwback from a few days ago when we were in Singapore with Phoebe and Oliver, they took us to a business meeting with a vertical farming company that was very cool and innovative then we went to a farm/restaurant down the road called Bollywood farm and had lunch then we went to the cloud forest where it was an indoor rainforest that had partnered with Avatar so there were many random avatar things within the garden

We went and did a VR zombie apocalypse game which was so much fun-here’s us gearing up and getting ready for the battle of the undead lol, we then went for Japanese craft beer and then back to the apartment for sake on the rooftop where this was the view- an epic first day of adventure, now off to bed to see what will happen tomorrow!!! Xoxo

Place your order by December 28 and let me do the cooking so you can enjoy ringing in 2023 🥳🥳🥳

I am pleased to bring you these vegan offerings for a stress free holiday season 🌱

I know how hard this year has been, with inflation and playing catch-up from COVID to everyone still getting sick, so let’s keep it simple and stress free this holiday season/

I am proud to bring you this à la carte menu that’s a cinch to prepare- either reheat and serve, or mix and serve so you can relax, not stress, and spend the most time with your guests and loved ones. Be your own Santa 🎅🏼