The Razz Review

FEATHERDALE WILDLIFE PARK

'Crikey means gee whiz, wow!' - Steve Irwin

Australia has some very unique and interesting flora and fauna and as a local, sometime you can forget how curious some of our creatures are.

If you want to get upclose and personal with some of our cute, and not so cute critters, Featherdale Wildlife Park is not a bad place to wander through. Although compact, there are a surprisingly large number of habitats and animals roaming comfortably in their enclosures. You can pat and feed joeys and other assorted cute animals but will get slogged an additional fee for the Koala encounter, whether they are awake or not (did you know koalas sleep up to 20hrs a day?!) For overseas visitors this generally is a must, not so much for Aussies.

Although small, the park has had its fair share of celebrity guests, from 90s favourite Pam Anderson to all round nice guy Will Smith. This must explain the high adult ticket prices. For families with young ones, a yearly pass could be worth it if you're close enough.

Overall a fun couple of hours if you're playing tour guide but not a huge payoff for locals if you have to travel.

3/5

MJØLNER

'Always rise to an early meal, but eat your fill before the feast. If you're hungry, you have no time to talk at the table' - The Havamal.

This was a particular treat for me as I am both fond of the Norse mythology and a great hospitality offering. Mjølner delivers on both of those aspects brilliantly.

Firstly, from the minimal signage, Norse badged wooden door and dimly lit atmosphere make you feel as if you are stepping into a different place. A different time. The anticipation of a sumptuous Viking meal grips you as surely as Thor does his mighty hammer. Tonight, we feast!

The bar is superbly stocked and tended to and there is a nice low murmur and chatter about the place, as you would imagine in a ancient food hall. Whilst waiting for our table, we sampled the bar menu and every dish we shared was delicious. The mead was hearty and sweet and of course the novelty of drinking from horns was too much to pass up.

The theatrics of the brand are underplayed nicely. It could be very easy to get carried away and fall into cheesy. I have enjoyed the other venues from this group and they have carved their identity out very nicely. There are aspects of Norse mythology sprinkled everywhere but it leaves you wanting more, not less. From the carvery tools, the horn shaped shots to commence the feast and even the giant, tattooed, bearded chef overlooking each and every dish before it is sent out is well conceived. Like your very own food Viking surveying the battlefield!

To sum it up; the hype is real. Every dish and drink we ordered was amazing and the theatre of the place was done very well. To my Sydney readers, go there immediately. To the Melbourne collective, your time is soon! Odin owns ye all!

5/5

What should I review next?

LOGAN

"People find meaning and redemption in the most unusual human connections." - Khaled Hosseini

Hugh Jackman is Wolverine. There is no doubt about it in anyone's mind. After 17yrs portraying the tormented Logan, we get a fitting bookend to both Hugh's portayal and the Wolverine saga as we know it on film. The fans spoke and it looks as though they've been heard.

There are so many good points about this film that I'm going to start with what I found lacking. The Reavers as the main antagonists were drawn quite shallow and not a great deal more than claw-fodder. The architect of all this chaos was equally skimmed over with only a few hints at how his master plan has played out and the cause of Wolverine's ailments, apart from waning healing factor was also vaguely discussed. Not that I need everything spelled out for me, on the contrary I applaud filmmakers that give the viewers credit, however for the final installment a little emphasis would have been nice. The big bad could have been a number of other characters from Wolverine's rich history and at times it felt as they were stuffing in F-Bombs to meet the quota for the R rating.

With that said - holy s**t was it good to see some savagery on screen! Wolverine's 'beserker rage' was realised a few times from a couple of characters and goddamn did I nearly cheer outloud in the cinema. Hats off to Dafne Keen who was captivating as the young X-23 and conveyed a range of emotions without speech better than a lot of seasoned actors out there. It was amazing to see her character take flight on the battlefield. What an introduction to Laura Kinnery! I hope she pops up again in future films.

And you get everything else you want too. Claws dismembering bad guys, blood and guts and the type of gruff comebacks you'd expect from the 200yr old grizzly Canuck. I would have enjoyed a couple more 'bub's in there though to be honest.

All in all, this was well grounded in both emotion and action for a superhero flick. Fantastic performances from the newcomer as well as veterans Jackman and Sir Patrick Stewart. A respectful sendoff to both of them and a fitting end to this chapter.

4.5/5

SNOWBOARDING IN JAPAN

“A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

It is said that travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer and I believe this to be true. On a whim, with only weeks to prepare, I was invited via text to snowboard in Japan. I went and I'm glad I did.

From summer in Oz to Winter in Japan was a shock to the system and I also didn't let the 21hr time frame to get there dampen my spirits. This was a bucket list tick off. First thing I noticed was how bright it was. The glare off the snow was intense.

During our time in Niseko, it actually didn't snow that much, we got some perfect Bluebird days and at times, I actually had steam emanating from my body in the gondola. I did however get a taste of the champagne JaPOW I had heard so much about.

It's hard to describe the ease in which you glide through it. The sound that it makes, the softness underfoot. You feel like you're floating. All the while grinning from ear to ear. I had made it.

On the mountain, there are 4 ski areas - Hanazono, Hirafu, Higashiyama and An'nupuri. Our pass allowed us access to all areas and each had amazing runs to discover. Highlights included eating ramen in Hanazono, riding from top of the mountain to the bottom in a single run without stacking, taking an onsen outside while it was snowing, doing my first tree runs, meeting old friends at Bigfoot Lodge (finally!) and of course making some new ones along the way. I could almost write a book about the adventure we had here but for the sake of this review, I will say Niseko has everything you're looking for and more.

Japan is a wonderful place and I always enjoy my time there. If you are thinking about going, anytime of the year is good but if you're a snow chaser and looking for adventure, Niseko should 100% be on your list.

5/5

DR STRANGE

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”
― Roald Dahl

What a great time to let your inner child scream with delight as the MCU takes us further down the rabbit hole. Although mysticism has been teased before, Dr Strange is the film that fully introduces 'magic' into the power set of our silver screen heroes. As all children know well, magic can make ANYTHING happen! And I think the timing is just right.

Although we have seen the origin story format roll out before the one thing that takes away the tedium of sitting through it again is the stunning visuals we encounter as our hero is projected through the astral plane as well as complete other dimensions and realities. Through the looking glass indeed. We are also starting to see the bigger picture come together as yet another infinity stone is revealed. Talk about the long game Marvel!

People may criticise the speed in which he went from zero to hero however in the comics Dr Strange disappears on his journey and then is revealed as The Sorcerer Supreme when he re-emerges so it's not that far off canon. Cumberbatch is superbly cast as the title hero and plays both parts of his personality to a tee. Villains will become forgettable as the series barrels on. The mix of magic and martial arts has been seen before but in my opinion Dr Strange pulls it off better than its predecessors.

So all in all this is a fun one, a small cog turning in a much larger machine and setting up for some good times ahead. I already can't wait to see Dr Strange pop up again, in the upcoming 3rd Thor film.

By the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth!

4/5

CRUNCHY CHICKEN BRIOCHE BURGER (Trovatino Cafe)

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” ― Virginia Woolf

Partly due to a request from Simon Hancock and partly because I wanted to see if it stacked up again, I went back for round 2 of the crunchy chicken burger.

Firstly, presentation-wise it stacked up as it looked exactly the same as before even though this time was during peak lunch service so well done Chef. The sweet potato chips were golden and crispy however the cut was inconsistent as this time they were more like wedges rather than the shoestring style I had previously which I prefer.

The brioche bun was soft and buttery, the coleslaw was both creamy and crunchy with fresh cabbage. The chicken fillets were freshly crumbed, not frozen, and cooked tender which is what I think elevates this burger to something special. The Swiss cheese offers a contrasting bit of tang to the double creaminess of the coleslaw and the avocado.

The burger ate well and the mess was contained during the eating. It stayed together as you maneuvered it down to the final last bite which I think is important. It did sit a little heavy in the gut afterward however the satisfaction far outweighed the guilt which often accompanies a meal such as this.

The only real let down was the flat white I ordered with it was a little watery, I like my coffee to have a bit more of a flavour punch now that I have weaned myself off the sugar. The other bone of contention was hitting the hip pocket, at $18.50 just for the burger and fries I think the price-to-value ratio is a little askew.

All in all, if you're going back for the same meal twice in one week it must be doing something right.

4/5

BLAIR WITCH 2016

“It is not what we know that scares us, it is what we do not” ― A.G. Phillips

17yrs after the film that really kicked off the found footage genre, take a trip back to Black Hills Forest in Maryland and attempt to uncover some answers. A similar premise to the original film, this time we follow James and company as he is tempted into the woods by new footage and the hope of finding some closure to what happened to his sister, Heather from the original Blair Witch Project.

This treatment offers another documentary style however with the advent of technology (drones and personal cameras) it gives a more stable and fluid method of telling the story through 'hand held' footage which I found an improvement.

Although the footage has upgraded, the premise is rather weak and just enough to get our band of explorers to the scene where things begin to unravel. Welcome to jump scare city which after a while becomes rather predictable. The pacing feels a little rushed at times and felt this film lacked the emotional terror portrayed the first time (who can forget that powerful close up monologue from Heather) although it does create some genuine moments of panic and claustrophobia. To paraphrase the great Alfred Hitcock I feel there were plenty of missed opportunities to properly build suspense in favour of surprise.

There were a couple of guys nervously talking behind me to mask the fact that they were getting a little scared. It s**t me at the start but then became a bit of fun as I heard one of them whisper 'WTF is that?' and then 'nah I'm not scared' then exhale quite heavily. A smile crept across my face.

You will get a closer look at the spooky dilapidated house and the maze of doors within. I did sit upright in my seat with tension a little toward the end. Added with that some clever thinking about how to navigate your way out once the s**t hit the fan might get you biting a nail or 2. A better ex*****on in suspense for sure.

Following its predecessor it should have leaned a little more on the emotional connection between characters and highlighted their descension toward panic rather than relying on cheaper tactics to get pulses racing.

2.5/5

ROCKET LEAGUE (PS4)

'Very simple to learn, difficult to master' - Nolan Bushnell

As a gamer I tend to stay away from most sports games and car games so Rocket League wasn't the obvious choice for me. It was free on the Playstation Network and a friend said he heard it was fun (thanks Brent) and I should check it out. I needed a new game that I could have a few short matches of every now and then anyway. I thought I'd give it a shot.

The premise is simple - soccer with cars. How hard could it be?

What started as a quick plug-and-play has quietly turned into an addiction and caused me to completely abandon 2 other games to focus purely on RL. I needed to 'git gud' so I didn't get 'rekt 2 ez' by the endless hordes of 12yr old virgins online. Kids can be so mean.

These rocket powered cars are extremely fast and agile and have the ability to perform amazing aerial feats (the original version of this game was called 'Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle-Cars') which can lead to the most elated cries of OMG to the most rage inducing WTF moments I've ever experienced in a game. Couple that with a chat box that quick witted players and fast typing teens alike use to either congratulate or berate the opposition and you've got yourself a recipe for a bonafide time-eater.

The graphics are simple but crisp, the car types and skin combinations are endless and it has multiple modes other than purely soccer such as hoops (bball), snow day (ice hockey), rocket labs (experimental game courts) and the newest addition Rumble which gives the cars wacky weapons such as giant boxing gloves which can really throw a spanner in the works.

It is also pushing cross platform boundaries, where Playstation gamers can compete with the CPU master race on their respective devices. This game has made me happy, mad, laugh, almost cry, extremely frustrated and deeply satisfied. Risk addiction, play it.

4.5/5