The Drop Bear Task Force is a specialised team deployed by the Australian Government to fight the wa Add 'Sarge' on his personal Facebook account: http://www.facebook.com/sarge.dropbeartaskforce
The Drop Bear Task Force is a specialised team deployed by the Government to fight the war against Drop Bears and the illegal activities and aggressive attacks performed by those Drop Bears.
The Drop Bear Task Force is a specialised team deployed by the Australian Government to fight the war against Drop Bears. We perform covert operations, street patrols and forest clearing to fight this menace. Spreading Bearwareness.
Join the DBTF in the fight against Drop Bears on their Official page: Drop Bear Task Force D.B.T.F
Drop Bear Lane?
Officers will be paying a close eye...
Drop Bear Task Force D.B.T.F
www.abc.net.au A community in northern New South Wales is preparing to unveil a street named after an icon of Australian folklore.
This afternoon at 15:28hrs, officers from the Drop Bear Task Force D.B.T.F were mobilised to ABC studio 22, Sydney, after receiving reports of a bear being in there.
After a two hour search, it was concluded that there was:
- a chair as well;
- people with games; and
- stories to tell.
We opened all the doors wide, went inside and deduced it was just big Ted playing a prank. A fine of $500 was issued for:
- 2 counts impersonate dangerous fauna (Drop Bear)
- 1 count cause fear likely to result in DBTF mobilisation
When it comes to Drop Bears, we're serious.
Big time celebrities aren't above the law.
Here it is, that one day in the year where you can give children lollies without the police being called...
However, please remember - SWEETS AREN'T TREATS FROM DROP BEARS.
Louise didn't look up or stay out of the Bush.
Don't mind us, we're just cleaning up. Again.
As you may recall, a South Australian woman on a quad-bike was viscously attacked last month.
After a thorough investigation, in association with SAPol, Barry the koala was arrested and charged with a string of offences.
1x count 'Attempt to Steal a Motor Vehicle';
2x counts 'Impersonating a Drop Bear';
1x count 'Sympathising with a Terror Causing Species';
1x count 'Posses a Eucalyptus Gum Smoking Implement';
2x counts 'Assault with Furry Paws'; and
1x count 'Pretending to be Cuddly'.
He will appear in the local magistrates court today.
Drop Bear Task Force D.B.T.F
August 16, 2015: A South Australian woman has filmed the moment a koala gave chase as she tried to ride away on her quad-bike. ftecA A South Australian woman...
9 News Reports:
ORANGUTAN ESCAPES AT PERTH ZOO
A close-call for primate keepers at Perth zoo today, with the escape of an orangutan. Five year old Teliti is believed to have used a shade sail to jump out of her enclosure and strolled along the visitor boardwalk before, fortunately returning voluntarily to the orangutan building, without incident.
The Drop Bear Task Force D.B.T.F was called due to the belief that Drop Bears had aided the escape. Upon questioning Teliti, it was determined that she was just 'waiting for a mate'.
Doesn't use her car, her legs or vegemite apparently.
Don't be a statistic - Look Up and Live.
Most of these survivors had consumed vegemite for breakfast; the only reason they managed to get away!
Be Bear Aware Australia.
Sick History Saturdays (We missed Flashback Friday)
It was 1972, Puppy Love by Donny Osmond was on top of Australia's Singles Chart, contemporary mullets started to form on the heads of musicians and Sarge had to get his mankini surgically removed after a rather nasty sunburn incident.
This was also the year of the Great Drop Bear Stampede. This event, played very much down in Australia's history, claimed the lives of hundreds of tourists. At the time, Drop Bears were like herpes - nobody really talked about it and they kept coming back (no matter what you did).
An estimated 403.5 Drop Bears were involved in the stampede. Yes. That's correct, half a Drop Bear was also involved - The result of an unrelated, recreational parachuting accident. Drop Bears liked parachuting. Is it really all that inconceivable...?
Blood filled the streets, houses burned and everyone hummed Puppy Love. It was an awful year for Australia.
As such, we reflect today.
Drop Bear Task Force D.B.T.F
When you walk into a sign, that is hanging lower than the beam it is on, which reads "Caution: Low Beam".
Yet another reason to 'Look up and Live'.
Stay Aware Australia, it's not just the Bears.
Our signs have finally completed their roll-out across Australia in hot-spot locations, where residents and travellers alike have become complacent.
Remember, if you still have your ears, put some vegemite behind them. If you don't have your ears, put vegemite behind where they should have been. Actually, just lather yourself in vegemite. It's better to be safe than sorry.
You may be thinking "What a load of croc". However, we have personally witnessed this type of activity multiple times.
Stay Bear Aware Australia. They're out there!
Teams urgently responded to Swanbourne Beach, Western Australia, this morning with reports of multiple Drop Bears in the area.
The caller (currently holidaying in Australia) had done a quick, but incorrect, google search for an emergency number so that she could report these disorderly entities. Her call included the line "there are lots of them, dropping bear".
Agents soon discovered that the woman had taken offence to the people on the beach and wasn't reporting Drop Bears at all. For those of you playing along at home, Swanbourne Beach is a nudist location.
Do You Know the Difference?
For DROP BEARS call us - Drop Bear Task Force D.B.T.F
For DROP BARES - Avert your eyes and seek an alternative location.
Drop Bears Don't Exist.
(Check the date)
Though the Drop Bear Task Force D.B.T.F does not endorse 'tagging', in this case, it's nothing more than a public service.
Stay Aware Australia - They're Out There!
How I look after spending the day in the Social Media Devision...
WARNING: IMPORTANT NOTICE
50 years after being released, Drop Bears have finally discovered the Sound of Music.
Drop Bears are known for their love of 'Choons' (also referred to by the 'homies' as Tunes, Beats or 'My Jam'), however, the replication of music has never occurred on their behalves...
That's right, Drop Bears have been copying both the music and theatrics of the movie - this is not a positive thing. Their singing can leave one's ears bleeding if one falls within a 3.7km (approx.) radius, and their vigorous re-enactments have resulted in an increase in fitness, as well as hunger...
If you hear the sounds of the Sound of Music whilst toddling through the Bush... stop toddling, start running.
Stay Aware Australia...
Also used to identify, quite literally, Drop Bear 'hot spots'.
A great use of technology and a brilliant idea in general!
abc.net.au Queensland researchers are hoping drones with infrared cameras will aid in the conservation of threatened species like koalas.
Nigel Strikes Again. Damn it Nigel...
Things were looking promising with him released on a Good Behaviour Bond last week (after kicking his eucalyptus addiction).
Unfortunately, Nigel has fallen back into his old habits and still believes that he can drop in to anyone's automobile and take it for a spin. Luckily his cousin (Rufus) is still in custody and was unavailable for peddle-working duty.
DBTF crews are currently speaking with local authorities at Victoria Police.
Koala accused of trying to steal family car says he's just waiting for a mate http://gu.com/p/4642m/au
They may look cute as cubs. But be careful...
This red nail-polished poser soon lost all but one finger that day (due to the tremendous grip of the Baby Bear).
Watch out for their acidic saliva also... it isn't nice.
Someone is looking for trouble
When other countries complain about wildlife problems...
Have you got your Drop Bear Repellent ready for March?
March is the second busiest Drop Bear month (after October) due heightened Drop Bear and tourist activity - as the temperature is slightly cooler.
Stay Bear Aware Australia... They're out there.
NSW Police Drop Dog program, in conjunction with the DBTF, discovered this Koala (undercover Drop Bear) and acted promptly. More information in the Dog Unit's photo description.
About 2am Sunday morning SC Barry from the Dog Unit observed a Koala running in and out of traffic in Campbelltown. SC Barry stopped and spoke to the Koala about the dangers of running across the lanes of traffic. SC Barry had to issue a move along direction to the Koala for hindering traffic! After failing to comply and "move along" numerous warnings were issued and the Koala failed to comply and Campbelltown LAC - NSW Police Force attended and a short foot pursuit occurred and the Koala was eventually arrested and placed for safety in a police vehicle.
Police then consulted with RSPCA who advised the Koala should be released in a suitable location, away from the Campbelltown traffic.
The Koala was last seen decamping from the Police Vehicle leaving the handcuffs behind.....
Sent in by some of our Likers a little while ago:
"Dogwalker attacked by Koala"
A classic media mistake, it was most certainly a Drop Bear. Noobs...
au.news.yahoo.com A woman has been left bloodied and required a four-day stay in hospital after being attacked by a koala north of Adelaide.
How the Kangaroo Squad looks after Night Patrols.
For those of you that didn't know, the Kangaroo Squad is an elite 10 person team that saddles up each night to track the nocturnal movements of Drop Bear Tribes.
This can only be done on Roo-back due to the DB's constant, nomadic movements. Each Roo is fitted with a saddle allowing them to carry a load of approximately 70kgs - their rider + supplies (varying depending on vegemite rations and full bladders).
We've just received our copies of the Official Drop Bear Task Force Book by Kevin La Motte!
"A ROGUE DROP BEAR IS TERRORISING THE CITY. THE DROP BEAR TASK FORCE IS SENT TO CAPTURE HIM. JOIN LIEU, SARGE AND DROP DOG AS THEY TRY MATCH WITS WITH THIS ELUSIVE ANIMAL".
You too can own a copy by visiting:
Here's a photo I took the other day that the press leaked to google.
This is a young male with a thirst for tourists, especially Swedish, and has been involved in munitions dealing with local street gangs.
This is becoming a concerning phenomenon as small time Organised Crime groups are engaging with Drop Bears in a greater capacity.
* MYTH ALERT * MYTH ALERT * MYTH ALERT *
As you can see in the image, the local shire has erected Killer Koala signs. This is a Misrepresentation of our Eucalypt Eating Friends! Drop Bears are not Koalas, rather, they are the 50 Shades of Grey Mutated Version.
Stay Aware Australia.
Having to take evasive action in order to throw the little dog you're caring for across the back seat of the car, that you are driving, because said little dog has figured out how to open the electric window and is now attempting to climb out.
*Child lock on*
*Window lock on*
Reports of Drop Bears in the roof of a home in Suburban Adelaide.
The Drop Bear Task Force has issued a Watch and Act Alert for people near Wynn Vale.
Residents are advised to:
Lock their doors, load their water pistols and prepare some sandwiches (I'm pretty hungry).
What the Task Force is doing:
- Local teams are currently responding
- Sarge is still looking for his car keys
Apparently the cast of Fury are already working on a sequel. They almost work as fast as us. Almost...
Successful Court Outcome Case #267578
After being apprehended by the DBTF for Indecent Exposure earlier this year, a Drop Bear has been sentenced to 6 years incarceration and tasking with the DBTF Analysis & Intelligence Division (to act as an informant on EucGum and Illicit Commodity Markets).
Her illegal actions have earned her the title of the drop bare Drop Bear (made even more shocking by a failure to shave her legs).
Be Aware Australia, they're out there!
Sent some details in to our local artist who created this photo-fit of a Wanted Bear.
If seen, please contact the DBTF. However, DO NOT approach (unless you have a desire to lose limbs).
#1 Drop Bear - Request
Got a fine yesterday for leaving my walking stick in the 'Staff Parking' area.
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