NeemaWrites

Not anymore

*The Little Wooden Bridge*

She had never known love—
not in the way the poets told it.

Love was a wide, distant land,
set beyond a vast and winding river.
And everything she tried
was never enough to cross.

He was a little wooden bridge
suspended between shores.
His words—
a quiet symphony,
gentle as silence.

He was unlike any man
she had earned through persistence.

Oh, she knew he didn’t exist.
Not really.
But still—
she couldn’t help herself.
She couldn’t resist.

There was something
about the way his crooked smile
made her soul sing
without ever touching her body.

The way she imagined him
in private,
giving herself to him—
completely,
without surrender.

He was everywhere,
and nowhere.
Like clouds of smoke:
visible,
but untouchable.

She had not known love.
She had built a river
between herself and it.

He was the bridge.

And when she stepped on it,
it splintered—
collapsed inward—
and together they drowned
in the river
of nonexistence.

The words I never said

I had a long dream about you yesterday.
Then another one
where I told you about the long dream.

And in waking life,
I told you about both of them—
but not what lived
between the words.

The things I couldn’t say.
Wishes I didn’t dare wish.
Hopes I didn’t dare hold.

I miss you.
Come back.
Why did you go?

Stay.
Hold my hand.
Stay.

There’s more I’d tell you—
remember the drama of my life?
There’s no one else
I can hand it to
without feeling too heavy.

Stay.
Please stay.

Even in the dream,
when we walked hand in hand
and smiled,
there was a child inside me
crying out for you:

Stay.

She must have known
you wouldn’t.

I hope you’re okay.

If tomorrow starts without me

It might feel like a tree losing a single leaf to the wind
no impact on the tree. Whatsoever
The forest continues to stand tall, green, and vibrant
but I know
I know that that one leaf will leave a quiet absence in the air, noticed by you who cherished its gentle presence.

Take a deep breath, it’s okay
Remember
Think about that point on the elevator entrance when we hugged, and kissed, and I conspiratorially asked if you’d like to be naughty
About the endless pool of life, of love and memories we’ve shared

Draw our endless curtains and look out the window
and watch how far up above the world we’ve lived
If tomorrow starts without me, baby it’s okay

You’ll be okay
Think about our love
Call our kids every chance you get tell them how much we love em

Make your favorite cup of coffee infused hot chocolate with the caramel syrup I keep in a recycled water bottle
Make it in that your black “King” mug that we got in a matching pair but have no idea where mine went
Think of me as the steam from the mug makes its way up your face

Love me still
With my long list of imperfections and wrongdoings
Love me still
Because I love you, always have, always will

So Darling let me be clear …
Do not break your back or soul
trying to prove your worth to them
Because
The first thing they do is ask how low you can bend
Then once they have you there
they’ll lift their leather boot clad feet
and stomp all over you
They’ll try to convince you that you’re not worthy

Not quite yet

And soon you’re treading
beneath the weight of doubt

The second thing You become the path beneath their feet,
Silent where their worlds compete.
A bridge they cross without a glance,
A step in someone else’s dance.

You hold your tongue, you bow your head,
Swallow words you should have said.
And once they have you there
right where they want you

The third thing
they’ll elevate a one that really isn’t …

… Worthy

See they never claimed they’d play fair
They have minds that keep no score
And you never read the rule book

There only ever was one rule;
Worth means whatever they damn well deem it
The worthy one is whoever they want it to be
A faltering step in an endless night

But Darling age is a gift that keeps giving
The fourth thing is I have grown and learned
that worth is not a flame,
It is not fed by fortune, prize, or name.
It is born in breath and bone,
A quiet truth, a song
And to each their own
And no one can take it away from you
Not if you don’t let ‘em …